The Problem with Heroes
by PhantomGrimalkin
Summary: Sportacus has always been there when you needed him, eager to help the citizens of Lazytown out of any trouble. But Stephanie's starting to wonder if that's such a good thing when she realizes the kids are no longer being careful. Sequel: "Concerning Elv"
1. Chapter 1

**A/N**: I don't own Lazytown. Magnus Scheving or someone else does. This is _fanfiction_. Shouldn't that be obvious?

This is my first attempt at a lazytown fic. I don't know if it'll become slash or not- but the pairing practically is canon. I'm sorry, Magnus et. al.- but it freaking is.

I'm not sure if I'll end up making Robbie a bit OC, but I just prefer the idea of him as an introvert who genuinely likes his privacy to him being a tragic soul who secretly wants everyone to like him but doesn't know how to get along with them. Just my preference.

* * *

"Trixie!" Stephanie yelped. She saw the mischievous girl right before she was about to grind down a railing on her skateboard- no helmet or anything. Surprised, the girl glanced over.

"What's up, Pinky?" she asked, using her hands like a frame to get an angle on how to do this best. The pink-clad girl ran over quickly.

"Trixie, you can't do that!" she insisted, grabbing the skateboard, "You have to be more careful!"

Trixie groaned, not really interested in a lecture right now. Pixel had just showed her a website that explained how to do this, and she was itching to try it out. She grabbed the skateboard back and, with her best Stingy impression, said, "That's _mine!_"

"But, Trixie, what if you hurt yourself?" she asked, confused.

"Look, Pinky," Trixie explained, setting herself up to start the trick again, "As long as Sportacus is around- no one's seriously going to get hurt. We all know he's going to swoop in and save us at the last second." Before the girl had a chance to reply, the tomboy-ish Trixie had set off in her attempt.

Stephanie covered her hands with her eyes and watched her friend attempt the stunt through cracks in her fingers. Sure enough- at the end of the railing Trixie didn't quite know what to do and went flying.

Right into a wagon that Sportacus had kicked her way.

The pink girl glanced over at the elf as he cheerfully warned Trixie to be more careful. She bit her lip as her friend thanked the hero and gave a 'told you so' look to Stephanie. She considered saying something when his crystal started going off again.

"Someone's in trouble!" he announced the obvious. He looked over at Trixie, apparently he hadn't noticed Stephanie, "I'll see you later- and be careful!"

With this he bounded off, and Stephanie ran after him- curious to see what the trouble was this time.

---

Stephanie got there just in time to see him pull Stingy and Ziggy out of a tree. They were both on a branch that couldn't support their combined weight, and it was about to snap when the hero grabbed them down. She ran over as Sportacus flipped off.

"Stingy! Ziggy! Are you guys okay?" she asked breathlessly, keeping up with Sportacus was hard work.

"Of course we are, Stephanie!" Ziggy said happily, licking the lollypop he always had. Stephanie nodded, taking a moment to catch her breath.

Stingy tutted, "Ziggy, that lollypop is _mine!_"

Stephanie straightened up, "No it isn't, Stingy. Ziggy _always_ has that lollypop" she insisted happily, glad some things didn't change. She looked over the two curiously, "What were you doing up in that tree, anyways?"

"I was trying to get away from Stingy so he couldn't steal my lollypop!" Ziggy said, hiding behind Stephanie as the other boy attempted to make a grab for it.

"You guys need to be a lot more careful," Stephanie warned them. "What if you had gotten hurt?"

Ziggy laughed at this, "Stephanie- you know as well as anyone that Sportacus would save us if we needed him!" The pink-haired girl bit her lip at this, that was the second time today someone in Lazytown had put themself in danger because they knew the elf would save them. And she thought she had noticed the kids (even the adults sometimes) becoming less careful these days. There was something not right about that.

Stingy agreed, "Besides- I wasn't going to get down. That tree branch is now mine." He made another grab for the sweet in Ziggy's hand, "And so is that lollypop!"

Stephanie rolled her eyes. Some things would never change. "Well, I've got to go you guys. Try to stay out of trouble!" she called to them. They both interrupted their argument to wave goodbye to the girl, but immediately went back into whom the lollypop belonged to.

---

Stephanie wasn't quite sure where to find Sportacus, he wasn't in any of the obvious places, so she decided it was probably best to just write him a letter saying she needed to talk to him. After pulling the lever, she leaned against the wall to try and sort things out in her head. This was definitely a problem- but she didn't know of a good way to fix it.

It was good that Sportacus was always there to save them- but it wasn't good that the kids (and possibly _everyone_) were getting lax about safety because of it. What would they do if something happened or if Sportacus was busy saving someone else or couldn't get there in time?

A shiver ran up the usually happy girl's spine at the thought of her friends getting seriously hurt, but she didn't know what to do about it. She was hoping that the local hero could help her with that.

As always, it didn't take long for the elf to come down. His crystal wasn't beeping, so it was safe to assume there was no serious trouble, but he was still curious what she wanted to talk to him about and always made sure to hurry when she asked to talk to him.

"Hello, Stephanie!" he said cheerfully, stopping in front of her and placing his hands on his hips. "I got your letter."

"That's good," she said with a half-smile. The elf frowned; it wasn't like Stephanie to be upset unless something was seriously wrong.

"Stephanie- what is it?"

"Well, Sportacus," she started, taking a deep breath. "You know how you're always saving people?"

"Yes, of course!" he said proudly, "I love saving people!"

"That's what I want to talk to you about," she said gently, "Because everyone knows you'll always be there to save them- none of the kids are being careful. I'm really worried about what might happen if you can't save them."

Sportacus frowned again, nodding. That was a big problem. "I'm glad you told me about this," he told her, "You're right to be worried- I'll have to talk about this with the mayor. Do you have any ideas about how to handle this?"

Stephanie smiled at him. That was one thing she liked about Sportacus. He always treated the kids like their opinion actually mattered. She gave it some thought, but she really wasn't sure. "Is there a way you can calibrate that crystal so that it only lets you know when there's a serious _emergency_?"

Sportacus took his crystal out of its case and looked it over. "I could try… But I never heard of something like that." The hero scratched his head, not sure if he liked this idea. He never thought that _helping_ people could be a problem, and the idea of having to ignore people in trouble to help them was difficult.

The hero shook his head, "Alright- I'll go talk to the mayor. Thank you for letting me know about this, Stephanie."

She smiled at him, waving as he flipped away. Stephanie was sure that Sportacus and her uncle could come up with a good solution.

---

Sportacus and Mayor Meanswell had been able to come up with _a_ solution. A good one? That remained to be seen. The Mayor and Stephanie were organizing a day to help teach the kids about safety. Again.

In the meantime, it was up to Sportacus to either try to get his crystal to only react to serious emergencies, or learn to take a day off every now and then. Everyone agreed that the kids didn't have to think about the consequences of their actions now, and the only way to change that was to make sure Sportacus wasn't always there to fix things.

Neither of these were things he wanted to do. He hated to admit it, but he was afraid to mess with his crystal. It didn't exactly have basic controls, and he might not be able to fix it if he broke it. The hero definitely couldn't replace it, either, it was an heirloom passed down from Sportacus 1 on. It was the only one ever created.

But ignoring his crystal? He couldn't tell _what_ trouble someone was in- only that someone was in trouble and who it was. 'Ziggy fell in the garbage can again' and 'someone is about to die' were both the same signal. Wasn't it better to react to 100 minor signals than ignore 1 life-or-death?

No. He had to find a way to verify what the problem was- and be more willing to let the kids get themselves out of their own scrapes. A sense of responsibility was important, right now he was coddling them. One day he wouldn't be able to save them and there'd be a serious problem, far more serious than if he let them handle a few minor scrapes themselves.

He needed help. And not just any help, he needed the help of the one person in all of lazy who didn't care about anyone, never rushed into action, and was happy to tell the kids off harshly. There was only one person in Lazytown who fit the bill- Robbie Rotten.

Sportacus didn't intend to become like this, of course, but maybe letting a little bit of Robbie rub off on him would help him out with this. That, and it would give him something to do all day while the Mayor and Stephanie tried to teach the kids the value of being safe.

Spending the day alone sounded a little bit boring, and he was sure Robbie could use the company.

---

The hero rapped eagerly on the entrance to the underground lair. And then knocked again, not quite so eagerly, when it went ignored for a few moments. Not long after the second try, he heard the recognizable sound of the resident stomping and complaining- probably about being interrupted.

The hatch swung open and Robbie groaned when he saw whom it was. "What do you want?"

"I need your help with something!" The slightly-above-average hero declared proudly.

"Great. What is it?" Robbie was unimpressed. Sportacus faltered, still not used to Robbie's… well… anything about him, really.

"Well- I need to stop helping the kids so much so that they'll learn to be more careful," he explained awkwardly.

"Then leave Lazytown- it's what I've been telling you to do from day one."

"I don't want to stop completely- I was just hoping that if I hung around you, some of your apathy would rub off on me!"

The villain stared at the elf for a moment, shaking his head. Sportadork wanted to care less through osmosis. Sure, why not, that was a foolproof plan if ever there was one. The villain sighed, "I'm not getting out of this am I?"

"Nope!" the hero seemed completely unphased by Robbie's unwillingness.

With a groan the tall man motioned for Sportacus to join him in his lair. It's not like he had any other option, the elf could be infuriatingly relentless. This was not going to be a good day.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N**: babis29 & Pilotofmymind, you spoil me! Thank you for the comments!

I still own nothing.

* * *

"DON'T TOUCH THAT!" Robbie half-screamed, yanking the hero's hands away from an odd-looking contraption. Taking a few deep breaths he glared at the startled hero before smiling in an attempt to be comforting, "In fact- don't touch anything."

The tall man led Sportacus over to his chair, "Why don't you just sit here for awhile?"

"Robbie- you know I can't not move," Sportacus told him, confused.

The villain groaned heavily. Yes, he was aware of this. He was painfully aware of this. He had spent far too many hours wondering how Sportacus managed to get sleep seeing as that involved 8+ hours of not moving.

"Yes, I know. But I have things to do- and if you're so intent on hanging around me, then you're going to have to find a way to entertain yourself without blowing us all to kingdom come!" His temper got the end of him at the end of that sentence and he ended up shouting again. This must be what babysitting felt like.

"Okay," Sportacus said, "Then what should I do?"

"I don't know- do you want a coloring book or something?" he asked sarcastically, trying to make fun of the fact this apparently grown elf was acting like a 5 year old.

"Why do you have one?"

Sarcasm was a fine art lost on Sportacus. Of course it was. Robbie rolled his eyes, "I don't, sorry." The best plan was to find a way to make the hero useful while keeping him in sight so he didn't break anything. "Alright- do you feel like helping me on this?"

"I love to help pe—Wait, is what you're building going to hurt anyone?" the hero asked suspiciously.

Robbie paused, looking over at his current creation. "I actually don't know what it's going to do- I just want to finish it to find out."

"Then you aren't making it for anything specific, so you aren't really busy!" Sportacus reasoned happily. Robbie sincerely wished he could have eaten his words.

"Fine. Might as well get some _fresh air_, then, it's not like it'll kill me," Robbie muttered. Anything to get him out of his lair with everything in one piece.

---

Spending time outside with Sportacus was no better an idea than spending time with him indoors was. The elf was just too active, it was infuriating. He couldn't stop fidgeting, which greatly got on Robbie's nerves and only caused him to be even more sulky and resentful. The elf either didn't notice or didn't care, though, because he never lost his cheerful demeanor. Lovely.

"Sportad—er, Sportacus," Robbie said after an hour or so of this. The hero stopped mid-whatever it was he was doing- and looked at Robbie curiously. "You do realize that you can't become like someone just by hanging out with them, right?

The hero nodded, "That's what I thought- but it was also worth a try. Besides, it's fun to spend time with you when you aren't trying to make everyone lazy! And even you have to get lonely sometimes."

That answer took him somewhat by surprise. Robbie supposed that if you could ignore the incessant twitching and flipping and everything else, Sportacus was a somewhat tolerable person to be around.

"I suppose," he grunted, "But any loneliness I get is quickly drowned out by how much I hate both crowds and children. I'd rather be lonely."

"There aren't any children or crowds now," Sportacus pointed out, although that would explain why Robbie was so unwilling to join them. "So why not just try to enjoy yourself?"

Robbie glanced around as if needing to validate that they were, in fact, the only two people in the area. Part of him felt like Sportacus was purposefully pulling his defenses down, and that made him more than a bit uncomfortable. He had worked fairly hard and had very good reasons to put them up, and didn't appreciate some hyperactive elf tearing them down.

"I suppose I could try. Although I _really_ don't think I'd enjoy any of your favorite activities," the villain pointed out.

Sportacus nodded, scratching his head for a moment. "No… And I don't enjoy staying still," it seemed like there was no decent compromise available, "We could always just talk."

Lovely. The 5 year old had now matured to a teenage girl. This was shaping up to be a _great_ day, wasn't it?

Robbie really couldn't think of anything that the two had in common to talk about, either. And he certainly didn't want this to turn into an attempt to save him from himself. Those were a waste of everyone's time and just plain aggravating. Yes, actually, Robbie _did_ like the way his life was going, thankyouverymuch.

He was a man who appreciated things like privacy, solitude, and freedom. As much as the idea of having _a_ friend or two might be nice, right now all he had to choose from was a bunch of snot-nosed brats, a woman so wrapped up in gossip you could steal something right under her nose and she wouldn't care, and a mayor who was a bumbling fool. And, of course, the hyperactive elf.

This isn't to say he didn't occasionally enjoy the time he spent with them while attempting to get rid of Sportakook- but that was more than enough socialization for him.

"Talk about what?" he drawled. The sad thing here is that this was him trying to be nice. "We have nothing in common, Sportal--Sportacus."

"Why do you have so much trouble saying my name right?"

"What?" that had caught him off guard. "Because you annoy me, of course."

"Then why do you keep correcting yourself?"

"Because I'm trying to be polite," he said a bit testily, and instantly wished he hadn't. The blue elf grinned at him. Robbie rolled his eyes- yes, yes, proof he wasn't all that bad. Oooh, look, he's not really a villain he's just misunderstood. There's hope for him yet. Now he'd _never_ be rid of that overactive, overgrown child.

"That's a good thing, Robbie!" Sportacus said proudly. He clapped a hand on the taller man's shoulder, who simply let out a resigned sigh.

"Yeah, whatever," he muttered, crossing his arms against his chest. He didn't want to admit that he had been wrong before- being around someone _could_ make you more like them. Sportacus's constant good mood was practically contagious, but Robbie was having no part of it.

"Oh, come on, Robbie! There's no harm in being nice to people once in awhile."

He rolled his eyes. "Actually- there is. Then they either expect it or decide it means your friends and they can harass you whenever they want. For example," he pealed the hand that was still on his shoulder off, "my politeness towards you apparently made you think you could touch me."

That was probably a bit harsh, the bigger thing was that it wasn't expected. Robbie didn't really mind an innocent touch or hug so long as people asked first- they just never did.

"Sorry," the elf said gently, holding onto the spurned hand uncertainly. His usually happy demeanor failed him now. "I didn't realize."

Robbie sighed. Heroes were so fragile- and they all had the same weakness. "Just ask next time," he muttered. Sportacus seemed to brighten a bit at that, so it wasn't the touching that was the problem- just the permission. That was something he could work with.

"I'll do that," he assured the villain with a grin.

That topic of conversation had pretty much worn itself out, just in time for the children to finish with their safety-awareness day. The gaggle ran over to Sportacus eagerly, and were more than a bit confused to see him with Robbie Rotten.

Stephanie was the first to comment on this, "Robbie- what are you doing with Sportacus?"

"Didn't you hear, little girl?" he asked, "It's take your nemesis to work day." Stephanie glowered at him, she didn't trust this one bit- she was sure he was up to something.

"Robbie," Sportacus reproached him with a smile, "We aren't nemeses!"

"Not through lack of trying, I assure you," the tall man muttered. The children weren't all that bothered by Robbie and quickly made it clear they wanted to make up for lost time with Sportacus, so the villain took this opportunity to slink away. If Sportacus noticed Robbie's absence- he made no mention of it.

---

"Look at that!" Robbie complained once he returned to his lair, "A perfectly good day, wasted by Sportaloon."

When the hero had first gotten to Lazytown- his biggest complaint was the noise. Suddenly the children were laughing and playing and singing and causing all this noise. He had a migraine for a week.

Now it was much more sinister, and his dislike had become personal. Sportacus's healthy ways were actually starting to rub off on Robbie. At first he hadn't noticed- he was only being active to try and carry out his plots against Sportakook after all.

But then little things started to change- as a result of being active, his body started to crave healthier food. Luckily he figured out that there wasn't a fruit known to man that you couldn't smother in chocolate. That made it easier. He now had a much more extensive knowledge of how to cook delicious things that were actually good for you- to his eternal shame.

And the gravest offence of all- Robbie had never felt better in his life. Not only was he physically healthier than he'd ever been, no longer aching occasionally from all the time spent lounging around, but he actually had a purpose. A drive.

Trying to 'get rid' of Sportacus gave him something to look forward to in the morning, a reason to get out of bed. And as a result his plots had ended up less and less foolproof, because he didn't really want to succeed in getting rid of Sportacus, not any more.

This infuriated him. The elf had won, there was no doubt about it, but he would never give that ever-happy little hero with his stupid cap and even stupider mustache the satisfaction of knowing.

Robbie Rotten stormed to his workbench and continued with the contraption he had started this morning- the one he still didn't know what does. He hoped it was something nasty. Or at least something- at this point he was starting to wonder how all the pieces fit together to actually work.

He was following a blueprint he'd found while rummaging through his things- which might not be a great idea, but if it was a blueprint he was keeping around it couldn't be too dangerous.

The villain had to pause for a moment, sighing. Was he being childish? Not only had he lost in a war that he alone declared and acknowledged, but now he was avoiding the victor over it. It sounded like something a small child would do. And, really, he didn't mind being around Sportacus. Even that pink-haired girl was tolerable, but all the other brats just annoyed him.

The villain touched the wrench in his hand to his chin, thoughtful. He shook his head, it was next to impossible to get Sportadork without his entourage- and probably wouldn't be worth the effort to do so. And he had so many better things to work on down here.

A knocking sound came from above, and the tall man glanced up in annoyance. He would never get any work done if these people had a say in it.

---

"It's you again?" the villain groaned, opening the hatch to see the blue elf standing there. Robbie paused for a moment, something was wrong. Sportacus had his arms crossed over his chest and had been looking very much lost in serious thoughts.

Quickly, he scanned his mind for any wrong-doings that he might be blamed for. Nothing came to mind- he'd been so wrapped up in his mystery project that he didn't have time to properly plot or scheme. Not only that, but his heart just wasn't in it anymore. The initial lust to get rid of that pesky hero was gone, and left with conflicted feelings of annoyance and appreciation that ultimately cancelled out and ended in apathy and a headache.

The villain rolled his eyes, "Whatever it is, I didn't do it. I've been a good boy this week." This earned a chuckle from the hero.

"I'll believe that when I see it," he said, shaking his head. Sportacus did not quite return to his normal, cheerful self though. "Why do you want to be my nemesis?"

"What?"

"You said earlier- you called me your nemesis. Why?"

Another groan. Why were heroes so difficult? No, not all heroes, just _this_ hero. This hero who actually bothered to save the villain when the villain needed saving. "Sportaf—_cus_," he started, "It isn't that difficult."

He climbed out of the tube that led to his home and pointed to Sportacus to emphasise his words, "_You_ are the _hero_," he placed his hand on his chest now, "and _I_ am the _villain_," he crossed his arms over his chest, "It's just how it works."

"But you're not really a villain, Robbie," the elf complained. "You aren't pure evil- you're just…" he struggled for the right words, but none came. Sportacus knew there was good in Robbie, he just preferred not to show it.

"Then I'm a lousy villain. Does it really matter that much?"

The hero paused, cocking his head in confusion. "Robbie- do you _like_ being a villain?"

"Eh, it's a hobby. Either this or stamp collecting- and this is more interesting," he said offhandedly. Truthfully, he did. He never actually broke the law or hurt anyone so no one could get him in trouble, and it kept people from bothering him. Thinking up new ways to trick the town's citizens was an exciting challenge that kept things interesting. Unfortunately, he still wasn't very into it at the moment.

Sportacus smiled, that seemed more like a yes than a no. His job was to make it so that everyone in Lazytown was happy and healthy- and if being a villain was what Robbie wanted, then why couldn't he be a villain? "All right, Robbie. I'll let you be a villain to the others- _but_ I know better."

The taller man grunted, that was an annoying answer. "So- I get to continue playing the bad guy and keeping those obnoxious brats away so long as I'm able to put up with you?"

"Pretty much."

"Why?"

"What do you mean?" the elf faltered at that question. Did there have to be a reason?

Robbie massaged his temples for a moment, "I mean- what do you gain by going so out of your way to force your presence on me?"

Sportacus frowned, he hadn't looked at it like that. "I just… thought you might like the company?" And Sportacus thought it might be nice to occasionally talk to someone who wasn't constantly fawning over him. As much as he'd like to think that he was above such things, Robbie's constant put-downs were a great ego check and easily balanced out by the children's admiration.

"I can live with that," the villain agreed with a shrug. "Just don't get it into your head that putting up with you will make me more willing to deal with those _kids_," he resisted calling them brats, noticing the way it made the elf's eyes flash.

"I wouldn't think of it," he promised with a smirk. Robbie couldn't help but feel that it was entirely out of place on the elf's face. "Did you ever figure out what that machine does?"

"Oh, no, not yet," he replied cheerily, "But I've almost decided what color to make it."

Sportacus raised his eyebrows. The elf was quite sure he didn't want to know what the color had to do with anything.


	3. Chapter 3

Aside from the excuses he gave for himself, the local hero was not entirely sure why he wanted to spend time with Robbie. There were a few reasons he could come up with. For one- it made him appreciate the kids a _lot_ more. After an hour of snide comments and cutting remarks, the waves of affection from the kids were all the more welcome. Also, although he hated to admit it, sometimes he liked conversation that didn't end in him having to save someone or give a life lesson. Usually he only had to save Robbie from a scheme gone awry, and any life lessons were ignored and unappreciated.

Then there was the hero side- the valiantly selfless desire to help the poor, lonely, tormented man better himself. That was the argument he would use for anyone who was curious, at least. But after that last conversation, that argument didn't hold much water.

"Since when do you have to justify _friendship_, anyways?" Sportacus asked his subconscious. There was no answer to this, and the hero smiled smugly.

The hero paused for a moment at the entrance to the underground lair. Knocking always earned an unpleasant greeting and had to interrupt whatever the self-proclaimed villain was doing. Just going in would probably annoy the heck out of him and was morally questionable- but it also wouldn't seriously interrupt him.

If the hatch were locked- he'd knock, if not- he'd go in. That seemed like a decent way to make this kind of decision. He checked the hatch- unlocked. Perfect.

The hero landed comfortably on the orange fluffy chair, earning an annoyed sigh from the villain- who had to take a moment to remove the amused grin on his face before turning around. At least when Sportacus harassed him, it was interesting.

"Hello Sporta- whatever," he said vaguely, not even bothering to come up with an insulting suffix, holding a detail brush in one hand as he looked at the superhero try to figure out what to do with a reclining chair. It seemed that he'd never been in one before, and was trying to figure out why it was at such an odd angle.

The hero glanced up from his search and raised an eyebrow, "Why don't you just say my name?"

The villain rolled his eyes, placing the paintbrush into a water glass that was already dirtied with paint. He walked over and surveyed the elf for a moment.

"Do you know who Spartacus is?"

"Erm, no," the sport elf replied uncertainly, but he certainly recognized how similar the two names were.

"He was a Roman who helped lead the slaves in a war against their captors," he explained quietly. Sportacus couldn't help but feel his chest swell with pride that he had been, in some way, named after such a person. Robbie ignored this, "Also- it was made into a film, so now whenever you introduce yourself I half-expect everyone else in the area to say the same thing."

The elf was not a movie person. He couldn't sit still long enough to watch them, and even if he could they generally weren't that interesting to him. And when he could, he spent the entire time wanting to help the people in the film, which ruined it for him. It was no surprise that he did not get the reference.

"What does that have to do with you saying my name?" he asked uncertainly.

"Ah, right. First- I don't particularly like the perversion of the name, " the elf winced at that, "Second- I honestly don't think you're acrobatics or saving a brat's lollypop makes you deserving of the title 'hero' much less a comparison to someone who actually did something _important_ with his life." The elf grimaced at this. Robbie tipped his head to one side- "Too harsh?" He was still new at judging where the line was.

"A little," the hero nodded. Mayor Meanswell's talk had apparently worked well, and his crystal hadn't gone off very much in the past few days. He still played with the children, but he was starting to feel extremely unnecessary. And that was for the best, wasn't it?

"So you went with a steel blue- very nice," he said, noticing what the villain had been painting before his verbal assault. The tall man nodded, hesitant to leave that topic behind but understanding that he was not the best person for _anyone_ to talk to about such things.

"It seemed like the best choice," he agreed, leaning against his workbench and looking over his current monstrosity. That and it was the only color he had on hand. If it were something truly hideous he would have gone to the store to get something better, but only because if it were something hideous he wouldn't have to spend however long staring at it.

"Do you really think I'm not a hero?" the elf asked quietly after a lull in the conversation. Robbie had amused himself by throwing something together, and looked over at the sports elf. The usually active man was crouched, his elbows balanced on his knees and his fingertips touched gently. So this is what happened when Sportajoke- that was awkward- actually got thoughtful.

"Does it even matter?"

"Of course it does!" the elf sprang up, "I'm here to help people and help keep Lazytown happy, what am I doing here if I'm not a hero?!"

"Sportajock," he groaned, "I never said you don't help people. You help more people before breakfast than I bitterly condescend all day," the elf chuckled at this, not bothering to mention that the first thing he did during the day was eat breakfast so he didn't really do _anything_ before it, "but it really doesn't matter what _I_ think- what matters is if you think you're a hero."

Sportacus sighed at this, that wasn't the answer he wanted but the self-proclaimed villain was right. His shoulders slumped slightly- _did_ he think he was a hero? It seemed like for all his attempts to help he had been too shortsighted and only made things worse. Some hero.

The elf flopped down on the orange chair, trying to ignore the strange reclining nature, and continued thinking. Robbie started at this- it was a bit more serious than he had realized. Sportacus wasn't moving. It looked like he may have been bighting his thumbnail nervously, but beyond that he wasn't even fidgeting.

The tall man sighed heavily- he'd have to figure out how to do the right thing. "Penny for your thoughts?"

Sportacus sighed at this; Robbie was not someone he had any interest in confiding in. As much as he enjoyed his talks with Robbie, the tall man's biting comments were not what he needed right now. Then, it's not like he had anyone else he could talk to in this town. They'd all just assure him he was, but he had to doubt if that was sincerity or hero-worship talking.

The hero shook his head, sighing as he stretched out on the recliner; it really was a comfortable chair- although that didn't make it healthy for Robbie to spend so much time sleeping in it.

"Sorry- but I've seen what you do to my thoughts. They're worth a bit more than a penny, especially given the condition you return them in."

A smile tugged at the villain's lips at that reply. There was hope for this do-gooder yet. It might be worth his time to rebuild Sportafail's self-esteem just so that he could have a verbal sparring partner.

"Fair enough," Robbie murmured thoughtfully, "So what would it take to get you to spill your guts?"

The hero raised an eyebrow at this. Why would the self-proclaimed villain care what was bothering the hero? He turned his thoughts to the answer. Nothing really came to mind, there was absolutely no reason to trust Robbie- but at this point he didn't really have much to lose. He was starting to seriously consider leaving Lazytown- if Robbie could say something to convince him otherwise, it might be worth the risk.

"Say my name. _With_ the number, and without correcting yourself."

The tall man blanched. Of course that was it, it could have been worse. "_Fine_," he muttered, making a great show of the physical effort it took for him to say those 4 syllables.

"Sportacus Ten," he finished with a look of 'are you happy now?'.

The hero chuckled for a moment, before realizing what this meant. He bit his lip; he should have asked for something he knew Robbie wouldn't do. Why didn't he demand that Robbie eat sports candy or do something healthy? No, instead he had to waste it on his name. The hero examined Robbie for a moment. Although, especially after the reasons he gave for _not_ using it, it felt pretty damn nice to hear the tall man utter those two words.

"I guess I can't get out of this now," he muttered, standing up from the reclining chair and stretching again. The elf started to bounce on the balls of his feet, feeling anxious about this. He ignored the disapproving eye roll of his alleged nemesis.

"I'm not needed around here any more. I helped get the town back in order," Robbie grunted his dissent at this, "but after that I only did more damage by staying. They've been safe these last few days thanks to Stephanie and the Mayor, but if I stay then they'll just end up going back to the old, reckless habits and end up getting seriously hurt. I feel like I've caused more trouble than I fixed."

"You aren't thinking about leaving Lazytown?" the question was out of his lips before he could stop it, or at least fine-tune it into a hopeful question as opposed to one of dread. The villain bit his lip and looked at a spot in the ceiling as if it were the most interesting thing in the world. It wasn't.

Sportacus looked up, confused by this, "Isn't that what you've been trying to get me to do, Robbie?" Did the tall man actually want him to stay?

"Yes, of course," he replied casually, still cursing his slip, "I was just asking if you'd finally decided to listen to me."

The villain excused himself for a moment and quickly retreated to his all-too-messy bedroom, closing the door behind him. The flurry of emotions that idea brought over him was too much for him to hide without some time to properly calm them.

---

Above all the quarreling little emotions, he was disgusted with himself. Disgusted that he had let his 'nemesis' become such an important part of his life. His _goal_ had been to get rid of Sportacus- now he was afraid to lose him?

The villain smacked himself gently on the forehead. He was being ridiculous. He was being childish. He needed to come up with some actual advice for the sportsfreak. Hrm. That was going to be fun. A way to keep Sportabrat in town without the other brats getting too reliant on him.

It was only at this point that he realized the burden of being the hero. If anything bad happened and Sportacus wasn't there to save them- he'd be blamed whether it was his fault or not. He wasn't just the town hero; he was the town _scapegoat_ as much as Robbie himself was. As long as a hero was around, no one had to worry about their own actions because if they got hurt- it was Sportacus's fault for not being there.

Robbie walked back out the door with a frown, wondering why the man would choose such a life for himself.

---

"What were you doing?" the elf asked curiously, quickly stopping whatever athletic feat _he_ had been doing and pretending he had been just standing there the whole time. Well, hopefully that meant the sport star was in better spirits.

"Thinking," Robbie said quietly, his voice toneless, "Having people around has always been a distraction- I do my best thinking alone." The blue elf didn't seem to understand, but nodded nonetheless.

"Think of anything good?" he asked a bit too hopefully.

The villain cleared a space on his workbench and sat down on it, still thinking for a moment. "Why do you want to be a hero?"

"Why wouldn't you?" he asked before realizing who he was asking. That probably required a better explanation, "I love saving people- helping them and helping everyone be happy."

"Why can't you do that while being a normal non-hero person, though?" Sportacus didn't seem to have a reply to this. The villain sighed, massaging his temples again. Okay- let's try something else. "What do you think makes someone a hero?"

The elf chuckled, "That's easy- everyone knows that!"

"Good, then you'll have no trouble answering."

This was greeted by an uncomfortable silence as the hero fidgeted uncertainly. Sportacus wasn't really the intellectual type- he wasn't an idiot, but he was a lot better with athletic and physical feats than articulating concepts.

"Alright, let's see what the dictionary says, then," he said, rolling his eyes and walking over to his bookshelf. After a few moments of scanning he drew out a moderately sized book that contained just about every word in the English language. He flipped it open and started going through pages, muttering to himself as he looked for the word.

The elf glanced over uncertainly, walking over and attempting to look over the villain's shoulder. Given the height difference, that was not the easiest feat.

"Here we are- 'hero'. This dictionary describes it as a remarkably brave person, someone who's admired, a main character in fictional plots, or a person with superhuman powers, " the villain read, "It's also a type of sandwich but I don't think that's relevant." He finally noticed the shorter man's attempts to see for himself and handed the book to him.

The elf looked over the definition again for a moment, not sure how he felt about that definition. It seemed too simplistic, although it did fit him (aside from the fictional bit). It wasn't all that reassuring.

"The word itself comes from the word '_ser_'- "to watch over, protect"," Robbie added quietly.

Sportacus glanced up at that for a moment, as if not quite believing that the words had come out of the self-proclaimed villain's mouth. 'To watch over and protect'. Something clicked with those words. That was exactly what he did, and what he wanted to continue doing. He smiled, "Thank you, that was actually very helpful."

"Yeah… don't mention it," he replied uneasily, taking the dictionary back and replacing it on the shelf. He wanted to add 'to anyone. Ever', but hoped that was implied. "I didn't want a depressed sports elf sitting in my lair. I have things to do."

"Of course, Robbie," he replied with a chuckle, clearly not buying the selfish reasoning. He took a step towards the villain before hesitating, remembering something. "Can I hug you?" the elf asked, feeling odd to have to ask.

"If you must, yes," Robbie said, rolling his eyes. Part of him expected that to be coming the second Sportacus decided he could enter his lair without knocking. At least he asked.

The hero bit his lip uncertainly about whether or not he should. That was hardly an enthusiastic answer, though it was a 'yes', but since when did hugs do any harm? With a shrug he closed the difference between himself and Robbie, wrapping the taller man in a quick hug, which the villain stiffened into uncomfortably.

"I'll see you around!" Sportacus said brightly before energetically bounding out of the lair in his usual fashion.

The villain rolled his eyes before returning to his project. "Yes, unfortunately," he muttered to himself. He'd never admit it, but the hug wasn't horrible, and even he could stand a bit of physical affection every now and then.

* * *

***I used the dictionary that came with Word for the definition because I didn't like any of the online ones. Etymology from etymonline (dot) com.

If anyone's curious- 'villain' is derived from farmhand. Nowhere near as flattering.

Also- Sportacus's name annoys the crap out of me. It's not so bad anymore because I'm used to it, but when I first heard it I groaned. It's a really bad pun, IMO. Sorry. And Robbie is using the 'turning of good into bad' version of perversion, not the sexual one. :-P


	4. Chapter 4

Sportacus fidgeted, bouncing on the balls of his feet as he waited outside the door to the Mayor's office. He had a meeting to discuss what to do about him and Lazytown. A bit of him was afraid to find out that the only answer was for him to leave. If he had to he would, but he'd miss the friends he'd made terribly and worry about them constantly. That, and he couldn't help but feel like he was finally making progress on helping Robbie- and didn't want to give up that so soon.

Miss Busybody finally opened the door with a smile and beckoned the anxious hero to enter. He walked in to see the mayor reading over a paper with a frown, and Sportacus's heart sunk.

"Mr Mayor?" he asked, walking over to the desk.

"Oh, Sportacus!" the mayor said cheerfully, putting the paper down and standing up, "It's great to see you!"

The hero grinned back for a moment before biting his lip, "Did you come up with a solution?"

Mayor Meanswell hesitated, "Well- the children and I talked about it during Safety Day. Obviously no one wants you to leave," Sportacus smiled at this, "but we're having trouble coming up with a real solution. Since the children realize how serious the situation is, they've promised to try and be careful- and we'll just have to see how long that works."

The elf's smile fell quickly, and he nodded his understanding. That wasn't going to work very long. Even if the threat of his leaving worked now, that would wear off quickly.

"I think we need to keep thinking about a long-term solution," Sportacus said after a moment. "Stephanie suggested I try to calibrate my crystal, but I'm not sure that I can and I'm not comfortable trying it because I might break it. And I couldn't ignore signals."

"Oh, of course not!" the mayor agreed with his last sentence. "No, that would be a terribly dangerous idea. We'll just have to keep thinking about a solution. Please tell me if you have any ideas."

The elf shook his head again, "I don't right now- but I'll keep thinking. I'll ask the kids to think of anything, too." Of course, by 'ask the kids' he meant primarily that he'd ask Stephanie and Pixel. Although the others were intelligent, the oldest two children were by far the most serious and could appreciate the situation more than the others.

"That's a great idea! The children always come up with such creative ideas," the mayor agreed happily.

"Mr Mayor," Sportacus said after a moment, "I hope this isn't personal- but what were you looking at when I came in? Is there something you need help with?"

The mayor turned beet red and chuckled, "Oh- it's a _love letter_ I was working on to give to Bessie… I'm afraid I'm not very good at being romantic for her. I don't suppose you could help?"

"I'm sorry mayor," Sportacus said with a warm laugh, "I'm afraid that's outside my expertise. Good luck with it, though, I'm sure she'll love it!"

"Thank you, Sportacus. And do tell me if the children come up with anything," he said distractedly, sitting down and picking the letter up again.

The elf smiled, he didn't quite understand the relationship between the Mayor and Bessie, but it was sweet how much effort he put into keeping her happy. "I'll see you later, Mayor," he said to the man who was now too wrapped up in his letter to respond before hurrying off to find the kids.

---

Stephanie was in the park writing in her diary about the current situation. It had been weighing heavily on her mind ever since she saw Trixie almost seriously hurt herself, and the Safety Day hadn't put her mind at ease that much. The kids tried to understand it was serious, but she could tell that the younger kids didn't really care that much.

Afterwards she tried talking to Pixel about it, but he was getting way too awkward about her to have a conversation. She couldn't help but wonder why- was he angry about her for something? If she could figure out what, she'd run over and apologize. But first there were bigger problems.

The pink-haired girl looked up in time to see Sportacus exit the town hall with a serious look on his face. She shut her diary and placed it in the bag before running over, hoping for good news.

"Hey, Sportacus!" she called happy as she ran over to him. He turned and smiled brightly at the girl.

"Hello, Stephanie, how're you doing?"

"I'm fine," the girl replied with a smile, "Have you come up with an idea on how to keep everyone from getting dangerous again?"

He shook his head a bit sadly, "Not yet, but we're still working on it. I'm going to ask the other kids to think about it, too. Have you had any ideas, Stephanie?"

"No, I'm sorry," she admitted with a sigh. This seemed a bit hopeless, and her stomach was starting to flip-flop at the thought of losing Sportacus. The girl hesitated, then took Sportacus's hand and looked up at him with big, concerned eyes. "You won't leave, will you?"

The mixture of hope and fear in those big blue eyes that had become so familiar shook him greatly. Was leaving even an option at this point? _Could_ he leave, knowing that it'd bring tears to those big blue eyes? Sportacus sighed heavily.

"Stephanie- I really don't know. I don't want to, but if it's the only way to keep Lazytown safe and happy, I will," he told her, trying to smile reassuringly.

The girl sniffled, taking her hands back to rub the tears from her eyes. "But you can't leave- Lazytown won't be better off without you! You saw what it was like before you came! There has to be another option!" At this point the young girl was in tears and hugged the hero, burying her face in him and clinging to him as if that would keep him there forever.

"Stephanie…" he said sadly, stroking her pink hair. His crystal was flashing for the first time all day. They both looked at it and he smiled sadly at her, "Looks like you're in trouble."

She sniffed again, wiping away more tears, and giggled at that. "Yeah, but if you left- I think we'd _all_ be in big trouble," she said sadly, still smiling a bit.

That seemed to have stopped her tears, but she noticed the wet spot on his suit and couldn't help but blush furiously. She wasn't a little girl any more, she was 10 years old, what was she doing breaking down like a child?

"I promise that I will do my best to make sure that doesn't have to happen, Stephanie," he told her. It was all he could do- he didn't want to promise to stay only to find out that he couldn't. The elf refused to go back on his word. "The only reason I'd _ever_ leave Lazytown is if me being here was really hurting everyone. I love it here!"

The girl beamed, that was what she needed to hear. There was no way that Sportacus could be hurting Lazytown. Thanks to him everyone was living happier, healthier lives. Even if one of the kids broke their leg falling out of a tree, at least they were able to climb the tree in the first place. When she got to Lazytown, the kids didn't even know how to skip rope- now look at them!

"You better not let Robbie hear that, I'm sure he'd come up with a scheme about it," she said with a giggle. The girl hadn't actually thought about the town's villain for awhile, and realized that it had been some time since he'd done anything. She frowned slightly and looked at the hero, "Do you know what he's been up to? It isn't like him to go this long without trying to get rid of you."

The hero grinned, delighted that the girl was feeling better. He placed his fists on his hips and chuckled, "I think Robbie got bored of trying to get rid of me and found something else to do for now. I'm sure he'll find his inspiration and be back to his old tricks soon enough!"

"Good," Stephanie said with a smile, "Most of the time- his plans are _really_ fun. Like when he built the circus, or dressed up like a pirate. When he isn't trying to hurt anyone, everyone has fun with him."

'_I wonder what Robbie would think about that_,' he mused to himself, smiling at the tall man's insistence upon being the villain. He really was a lousy villain, but maybe he liked it that way. After all, his intent wasn't to do harm- just to be left alone. Remembering something, Sportacus looked back at the girl, "Do you know where Pixel is? I want to ask him about this."

The girl's smile faltered as she thought of the boy, "I think he's at home, probably playing on his computer. He's been distant lately- I think he might be mad at me."

"I'm sure he isn't," the superhero insisted, "but I'll ask him for you."

"Thanks, Sportacus!" the pink-haired girl hugged him again before running off, "I'll talk to you later!"

"Goodbye, Stephanie!" he called after her, waving. The elf couldn't help but wonder what Pixel could be mad at her about, maybe the boy was upset about something else.

---

The slightly-above-average hero rang the doorbell at Pixel's house, bouncing on his feet as he waited for the boy to answer. Maybe this was a bad idea- Pixel was good at _machines_, not people. In fact, the boy was positively _miserable_ with people.

That also gave him a different view than everyone else, sometimes a more objective view, and that could be very helpful. That and it was possible that Pixel could just use that "internet" thing he spoke so highly of to find a solution.

The door opened with a slight peak, and the young boy was shocked to see who was standing there.

"Sportacus!" the boy cried, taking his headphones off. The hero could hear bits of the music from there and didn't think it was a song he'd like. "What are you doing here? Please, come in!"

"Thank you," the hero said, walking in as the boy made room for him. "I'm sure you know what's going on with Lazytown," the boy nodded, frowning, "I was hoping you could come up with a solution."

Pixel had been thinking about this for a while, but hadn't been particularly successful. It didn't help that every few minutes a certain pink-clad girl danced into his thoughts.

"Stephanie mentioned recalibrating your crystal- if you let me look at it for awhile I could give that a shot," he offered.

Sportacus bit his lip. He could probably trust Pixel to be careful with it, the boy could work with complex technological parts, but he was still uncertain. "Alright," he said after a moment, taking the crystal out of its case and gingerly holding it out to the boy, "But _please_ be careful. I can't replace that."

"Of course," the technophile said, eyeing the crystal. He turned it over in his hands a few times, "I don't think I'll get anywhere- it looks like this is all magic. That's way out of my league. But I'll definitely give it a try!"

"Do you mind if I stay here while you do? If it goes off I'll need to know," the hero asked. Pixel nodded and led him into the living room. He motioned to the couch saying, "You can play video games or something while I work on this," before turning to his workstation. First step- research if there was anything like this crystal out there.

'_Video games?'_ The sports elf paled. Sitting still for any period of time was torture to him and _video games_? He knew the kids liked them, but it was something he hardly approved of and that had never interested him.

It took all of 3 seconds to realize that video games were not Sportacus's forte. He'd managed to die about 20 times already (what on earth were these kids playing?!), and wasn't any nearer to figure out how not to. Aside from being frustrating, the hero was already itching to move. He looked over at the boy. Pixel definitely hadn't managed to crack the case in 10 seconds. Darn.

Sportacus quietly arranged the furniture so that he had room, and sat down to do some sit-ups. That was much better.

A few hours later, Pixel threw the tools he was working with down and went over to Sportacus, defeated. The hero stopped what he was doing (a rather complex set of push-ups) and looked over at the boy nervously. He hoped nothing had gone wrong with it.

"I haven't made any progress on it," the technophile explained sadly, handing the crystal back to its owner. "I'll have to find some magic-based resources to try and find out more. Is there anyone you can ask about your crystal?"

The elf examined it carefully for a moment to make sure that nothing was wrong. There may have been a slight scratch on it, but other than that nothing. Sportacus shook his head, "I don't think so- it's been around for so long. I wouldn't even know where to start looking to find someone who knows about it."

The two stood in silence for a moment. They could both tell that they had failed, and that really didn't feel good to either of them. Something finally came to mind, a way to change the subject.

"Pixel," Sportacus began, "Is anything wrong?"

"No, I'm just sorry that I couldn't help more," he replied, not entirely understanding what the hero was asking him.

The elf chuckled a bit sadly, "You shouldn't be- you did your best, and this is a bit beyond anyone's abilties. But Stephanie thinks you're angry with her, is that true?"

"She does?!" Pixel asked, horrified at the idea, "No! I'm not mad at her at all- I couldn't be mad at someone so…" he stopped as he realized what words came out of his mouth, and sat back blushing slightly. Thankfully his dark complexion hid the pink tinge. Even more thankfully, the elf was fairly naïve about such things. Anyone else (except Stephanie herself) would have guessed in an instant what was going on.

Sportacus just raised an eyebrow, confused. "That's what I thought… but you should still let her know, she was really concerned," he insisted, slipping the crystal back in place after realizing it was still in his hand. "But I should go now, I'll talk to you later!"

"Bye, Sportacus, good luck!" he called after the hero before turning back to his computer with a smile. Stephanie was concerned that he was angry with her? His heart fluttered gently at the thought.

* * *

*** I don't know if I'll put in any Pixel/Steph, but I still find his crush on her a bit adorable and just had to include it.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Thank you so much for your kind comments! I really hope this was worth the wait and sorry for the delay.

* * *

Fall was on its way out, and the first snow of the year had fallen. The first snow was one of those magic things that would cause just about _any_ child (and some adults) to run and play with reckless abandon. Unfortunately, it wasn't warm enough to coat the ground as snow, but a wet sleet. Thanks to this, the excited playing was a bit more slippery than they had expected, and there were a couple of bumps and bruises to be had by all the children.

None of them minded terribly, though. A bit of hot chocolate, and maybe an ice pack or band-aid for the nastier spills, and they'd be right as rain.

In a strange turn of events, Sportacus wasn't playing with them. He had at first, naturally, in a lot of ways he still was a child at heart and the snow excited him as much as the kids. But after the first few inevitable falls he ended up coming up with an excuse to leave.

Seeing the kids get hurt, even if it was something they could easily walk away from, only reminded him of the problem facing them. It was pretty obvious that trying to calibrate his crystal was a dead end, but that was the best anyone had come up with so far.

A snowflake landing on his eyelash pulled him out of his thoughts. He blinked it away quickly before looking around to see where his feet had taken him. To his surprise and concern, he wasn't that far from the billboard. Was he really that used to going to Robbie when he needed to talk now? The idea curled his stomach in knots.

The elf was about to turn away when he noticed that the villain was leaning against the billboard with a distinctly pleasant look on his face. Sportacus shook his head and looked up- he wasn't seeing things. Curious and a bit apprehensive, Robbie was _never_ happy for a _good_ reason; he quietly walked over and climbed up to stand next to the villain, still puzzling over this odd moment.

"Robbie, what are y—" he started, but was shushed by the taller man placing a finger to the hero's lips.

After a moment he sighed, apparently deciding some explanation was warranted as he took his partially-gloved hand back and crossed his arms, "I don't know what you're going to say- but you never come see me for anything _good_ and I'd rather you not ruin this."

It was then that Sportacus realized just what the pleased look was for. The hero watched in disbelief as the villain followed the tracks of a few snowflakes. Even Robbie Rotten had a soft spot for the snow. How about that.

"I didn't realize you liked the snow," he commented, smiling at the annoyed eye roll this got him.

"I don't normally, it's too cold," the villain shivered to illustrate his point. He then sighed, his face softening again, "Which is why I have to enjoy it when it's a decent temperature. It _is_ fairly beautiful."

They both stood there enjoying the sight for a moment before Robbie apparently decided that he had seen enough and turned to the elf. "Alright- what do you want?"

The question was so sudden that Sportacus had to take a few minutes to process what had actually been said. Once he did, a blush crept onto his face. "Oh, erm, I was mostly just wondering what you looked so happy about… It's not usually a good thing. Sorry"

"No need to apologize, generally I only smile maliciously when I've cooked up a particularly evil scheme," Robbie agreed conversationally. "What were you doing all the way out here anyways, though? Shouldn't you be playing in the snow with those kids?"

It was still off-putting and probably always would be. Both the way that the tall man so casually mentioned his bad deeds and the way that he never let Sportacus pretend everything was okay. The two seemed so conflicting.

The elf sighed, "I wasn't paying attention to where I was walking, I was just thinking. I really don't know how to keep everyone safe without risking them getting hurt."

"You know, I still have no idea what's going on with all that," Robbie replied. Although he was hardly the first to know, it seemed strange that he had had two conversations with the slightly-above-average hero about this and still didn't know what it was.

"Oh, right, I forgot you're a bit… er… out of the loop," Sportacus admitted sheepishly. He sighed heavily, "Well, the kids have stopped being careful because they know I'll save them, and that's not a good thing."

"What are they doing?"

"Nothing too bad, I guess. But they aren't being careful about it. Like a few weeks ago Trixie was trying out a new skateboard trick without a helmet or elbow pads or—_what_?!" Sportacus stopped halfway through his explanation when he realized that the tall man was shaking with laughter. The elf scowled, crossing his arms.

"Sorry, sorry," Robbie replied, getting more serious although mirth covered his face. "So no running with scissors or playing with matches?"

"No," he admitted, feeling a bit self-conscious about the whole thing.

The villain chuckled, shaking his head. "It sounds like they're just kids being kids. And as much as I'd _love_ to put a stop to that- I'm surprised you'd want to."

"Getting hurt isn't a part of being a kid!" the hero half-shouted, incensed.

Robbie hesitated, shaking his head. "Yes, it is. Kids climb trees- they scrape themselves up on the bark; they fall off and break their clavicle. They ride bikes- then get thrown off and scrape their whole leg. I had a friend, when we were five, who was at home, fell, and split her head open." Sportacus was pale at this point, and shaking a bit although it probably wasn't from the cold.

"That's _horrible_," he muttered, "How can you be _okay_ with that?"

The tall man bit his lip, he wasn't sure what to do right now. Uncertainly he put an arm around the hero's shoulders, trying to be comfortable, "Because kids get up from all that and they smile and they go right back out and climb another tree and ride another bike. But this time they're a little bit wiser for it."

"I thought you didn't like people touching you," the elf said quietly, looking at the arm confused.

"I don't," he replied, tightening his grip slightly when he felt Sportacus start to move away. "But I'm not good at being," he cringed slightly, "_nice_. And you seem to like physical things so I'm just trying to make it clear that even if it's coming off like that I'm not trying to be mean. Do you want me to let go?"

"Do you want to see those kids hurt?"

Robbie groaned, "No. When have I ever _intentionally_ put someone in harm's way?" the hero thought about this for a few moments and nodded his understanding. "I don't want to see anyone hurt- not even you- which is why I don't want to see you beating yourself up over something that _isn't your fault_."

The hero nodded, looking at the plate on his chest as if waiting for it to either start flashing or crack. "I can't just let people get hurt."

Robbie let go at this point, needing his hand to properly massage his temples. It was clear he was trying to decide how to say that. "No- I'm not saying that. But even if you do your best, you can't control people so there's always the risk that they'll get hurt. And if someone _does_ get hurt, you shouldn't beat yourself up- just do your best to help them afterwards. You shouldn't hold yourself accountable for everyone else."

Sportacus shrugged, sighing, "I suppose I see what you're trying to say. I just can't accept that."

"So you'll run away rather than have to face it." This came out far more bitter than he had intended it to sound, and probably should have been a question rather than a statement.

"If I left, I wouldn't be—" the hero started, guilt and anger and confusion all bubbling up unpleasantly inside him, "If it's to _help_ people, it isn't—" he shook his head. Why was he even listening to this? It was _Robbie_; he was just trying to mess with his head. The elf growled that he'd let anything this man said get to him. "What do you even care- aren't you trying to get rid of me?"

The villain just shrugged. There was really nothing he could say to that- it's not like any accusations were baseless and the only person to blame was himself. It was still annoying, though. He would have counted to 10 to calm down before talking, but Sportacus looked about ready to storm off so he just rolled his eyes and pointed out, "If I was using this to get rid of you- wouldn't I be convincing you that you're doing a horrible thing by staying?"

"I suppose," the elf agreed warily, "But you can be pretty tricky. Why would you want to help me, anyways?"

"Look- think what you want, it's not my problem anyways. Forget I said anything," he paused for a moment before walking off, apparently not interested in continuing the conversation.

The elf shook his head. There was really no reason for him to act offended. Unfortunately, Sportacus was also too nice to be able to actually believe Robbie was that devious and he soon found himself running after the villain to apologize.

"You _are_ trying to get rid of me, aren't you?" he asked uncertainly, now starting to have his suspicions.

Robbie groaned, slightly quickening his pace even though he knew that would do nothing. The damned sports elf could easily keep up without breaking a sweat. "Yes, that's generally what walking away means."

"I mean in general," he said with a smile. The villain was avoiding the question.

"I know what you meant- and I didn't like it then and I'm not answering it now." That was technically an answer and they both knew it, but it would take a lot more for him to willingly admit it verbally.

Sportacus laughed, grabbing the tall man in a hug that effectively stopped him from walking. "I guess that makes it unanimous, then. I can't leave now."

"_Wonderful_," the man groaned- now he would _never_ be rid of the sports elf. And to make matters worse, he was actually happy about this. He sighed, half-heartedly placing an arm around the hero. "I suppose I'll have to get used to this then."

The blue elf cocked his head in confusion for a moment before quickly letting go and stepping back, "Right- you don't like being touched. Sorry."

"It's fine, I'm getting used to it. I just wish you'd remember to ask," he replied with a shrug.

Sportacus nodded, attempting to make his smile apologetic and slightly downcast. This was pretty much impossible, though, as this news was far too good for that. A hopeful part of him had suspected that Robbie was growing to like, or at least tolerate, him- but to find out it was true was just surprising in a _very _good way. He bounced slightly on the balls of his feet, deciding anything more active would be out of place, "I'm not used to asking about that- I've never even thought to."

"Most people haven't," he agreed uncertainly, a bit disconcerted by how happy the elf had suddenly become. "Weren't you fairly morose a few minutes ago?"

He chuckled, "Yeah, and I am still a bit worried about that, but I much prefer being happy, so why not take the excuse to be?"

"I didn't say I like you, I didn't even say I _want_ you to be here, I'm just no longer actively attempting to get rid of you- how does that warrant this much happiness?" the villain asked, completely perplexed by the entire situation. It couldn't be normal to be happy this easily. This was just _creepy_.

The elf sighed, "Do you want me to be miserable?"

"No, I just want you to react like someone who isn't insane," he muttered, trying to ignore the guilt now nipping slightly at him. "What have you even tried to fix this anyways? I mean- besides stalking me."

Sportacus glowered at the comment but otherwise ignored it. He couldn't help but wonder what it was like to think that being _happy_ was a bad thing. Apparently so were hugs, too. It was getting harder to believe that Robbie was as content in his life as he let on. That really wasn't his business, though; the man had made it clear he wanted no help. "Um- I asked Pixel to see if he could do anything to adjust how the crystal reacts. But it's pretty much entirely magic, so that was a dead end."

"You have elf magic, right? Can't you just fix it with that?"

"I might be able to- but I don't know. The only spell I can even tell is on it is one to protect it. I'm not sure how you even put a spell _in_ something like this in the first place," he sighed again, looking down at his chest plate. Except that he didn't quite trust the villain, he would have taken it out to examine it more closely.

Robbie raised an eyebrow at that but said nothing. A quick glance at the sky told him that the snow had stopped and it was now just a miserable, wet day. The only reason to be outside (in his opinion) had apparently stopped. He shivered.

"Robbie," Sportacus started quietly. He had noticed the shiver and assumed that it wouldn't be long until the villain left. "You don't have to push people away all the time. What would you do if you ever needed help?"

After a moment's pause he chuckled, shaking his head. "Isn't that what your crystal is for?" the elf frowned at him, "Look- I don't need help. I haven't in a long, long time and I don't see that changing. So thanks for your concern- but don't worry your pretty little head over me." The conversation wasn't going in a way he was comfortable with. He shivered again, that was enough. "Anyways, I have to head back in- so I'll see you later."

As the tall man began walking back towards the billboard they had both came from, the elf called after him, "If you ever need anything- you know you can ask me, right?"

"And I know if you need anything you'll find me whether I want you to or not," he called back with a smirk. "I'll see you later, Sport star."


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Sorry to any Robbie fans, but this is another chapter that's pretty much devoid of him.

* * *

The mayor walked into his office as usual that morning. It was a bright, sunny day and the snow of a few days ago was nothing more than a memory. He opened the door to the town hall, wondering if Ms Busybody was already there or if he had left it unlocked as he did, and made his way to the office.

To his surprise, there was a package on his desk. It was a regular enough package like you might send in the mail, and he briefly wondered if Ms Busybody had brought it in earlier. It wasn't like her to get in earlier, but every now and then she was.

He chuckled as he sat down at his desk, taking a moment to indulge in a daydream that it was some gift for him or some secret document of national importance that he alone was trusted with. It wasn't, of course, it never was. Sometimes it was a gift, but only around his birthday.

Today it wasn't even for him. In place of an address it simply said '_For Sportacus 10_'. It was obvious why whoever left the package hadn't simply sent it straight to the airship- there was no way it would fit in the tube. But it was still a bit annoying that someone considered the Mayor of Lazytown to be a delivery boy.

Mayor Meanswell sighed gently to himself, shaking his head as he wrote a letter for the local hero. Times like these he felt very unappreciated. Sure, he wasn't the most important person on the planet, he wasn't even the mayor of the largest city, but he was still a bit more important than this.

A few minutes later he had sent the letter to the airship and waited there, looking at the package as he wondered what it was or who had sent it. As expected, it didn't take long for Sportacus to come flipping down.

"Mayor Meanswell," he said as he ran over to the mailbox, "What is it?"

"Ah, hello Sportacus," he replied with a soft smile, holding the package out to him, "You have mail."

The elf looked uncertainly at the mayor, wondering if something else was wrong. He took the box and looked at it. The writing wasn't familiar, and he couldn't really think of who would send him anything. "Is everything alright, Mayor?"

"Oh don't worry about me, it's nothing. You should open that in case it's anything urgent," the man insisted, waving away the concerns. This was hardly something the hero could fix, and he didn't want anyone's pity right now.

"Alright," he agreed, not at all convinced. The mayor had his right to not tell him, though, so he didn't press. Carefully he opened the box, ripping the tape off because he didn't have any scissors or anything to cut it with.

Inside was a dark green book. It seemed fairly old, the pages were yellowing and the dark blue material it was bound in was cracked. Engraved and embossed in silver on the front were the words 'Natural Magic'. The elf was fairly confused where this had came from, and immediately took the book out of the box to get a better look.

Once it was out of the box, Sportacus could see a bookmark sticking out about halfway through the book. He looked up at this, about to double check that the mayor didn't want to talk about whatever was bothering him, only to see that the man had left. He hoped he hadn't accidentally ignored the mayor.

Nervously, the elf ran his fingers over the lettering on the book before opening it, half expecting something to jump out at him. Nothing did, of course. The bookmark was at the start of a chapter on crystal magic.

"What on earth?" Sportacus muttered to himself. There wasn't anyone who would send him something like this. Not that he could think of anyways. Who would send _him_ a book? It didn't make sense.

Curiously he picked up the piece of paper that served as a bookmark and turned it over. On it was written _'I'd like this back_'. It didn't give any indication of who to give it back to, though. He wondered if the person had forgotten to write it, or if they expected him to know who it was.

The elf chuckled to himself after a moment, realizing that there was only one person who could possibly have sent this. Bouncing slightly, he eagerly started skimming the pages, hoping it was as useful as it looked like it might be. A selfish part of him wanted to keep this to himself and not tell anyone else, but he didn't have the patience. He also didn't get the chance, as a certain pink hair girl ran over to him right about then.

"Hi, Sportacus!" she said brightly before noticing the book in his hand, "What's that?"

"Hello Stephanie," he smiled at her, "This is a book on magic."

The girl's eyes widened at this, "Do you think it'll have information about your crystal?"

"I certainly hope so, but I only just got it."

Stephanie walked over and stood on her tip toes to get a good look at the book. After a moment she looked up hopefully at him, "Can I borrow it? I could see if it has anything useful for you- I know you don't like sitting around, but I'm used to it from school."

The elf hesitated, unconsciously tightening his grip on the book. He didn't really want to give it to anyone else, and wasn't even sure if he had the right to. It wasn't technically his. But Stephanie would be crushed if he said no and she could be a great help.

"Of course," he said cheerfully after a moment, closing the book with the paper still in it and handing it to the girl. "But please be careful with it, it's very important."

"It is?" she asked, holding the book to her chest protectively. The girl paused for a moment, worried that she might mess up and break it or if Stingy might steal it fro her. "I know!" Stephanie announced with a grin, "I'm sure Pixel has a machine to copy things- he can copy people, after all. I'll ask him to copy the pages we need and then I can get it back to you soon!"

"That sounds like a great idea, I'm sure I can trust you to take good care of it," the 10 year old was practically glowing at this, and her face turned bright red. The elf didn't seem to realize, though. He looked back up at his airship- he had been in the middle of his morning exercises when he got the mayor's letter and should probably continue with that. "I have to go now, though, I'll see you later, Stephanie. And thank you!"

She waved brightly, watching him go. When he was back in the airship she giggled, looking at the book. "He trusts me with something important!" she sighed to herself. And if she could find the solution for his crystal, then she might be _his_ hero and he wouldn't have to leave!

Happily the girl ran over to Pixel's house, eager to get the copies so that she could get started on her new project.

---

Under any other circumstances, Pixel would have been delighted to have Stephanie over. But having to sit there and listen to her gush about Sportacus was a bit painful. If he had any concerns that his dream girl might have realized he had a crush on her, they were gone now.

He had a machine to make copies and it wasn't hard to set it up to his printer, of course, and that was simple enough. But the actual copying was a bit tedious and he wasn't used to handling actual paper and had to be even more cautious to avoid ripping anything. And he had to be very cautious as any time he was slightly too forceful Stephanie would squeak worriedly and shoot him big, concerned puppy dog eyes.

"Stephanie, paper gets stiff and frail when it gets old," he told her with a heavy sigh, "I'm doing my best but I'm not a miracle worker."

The girl furrowed her brow, looking at the book for a moment. "Here- let me do it, then. I want to make sure I give it back in good condition, he's counting on me."

"It's not even his book, why do you care so much?" the technophile asked bitterly after showing her how to properly use the scanner and sitting back to monitor it. At least if she ripped the blasted book she wouldn't be able to blame him very easily.

Stephanie frowned between pages. "That makes it even more important- it isn't his book to lend or break. And this book is so old I doubt he could replace it easily if he needed to. He's putting a lot of faith in me and I have to meet that challenge."

"Maybe he knows it's old so you'll break it anyways. From what I've seen, the information isn't very useful anyways."

This earned him a glare, and Stephanie continued working in silence. Which suited the gizmo guy fine, as he didn't really want to hear any more about the sports elf. If he had to listen to that much longer, he'd end up tracking down Robbie and helping him concoct a _good_ plan to get rid of the local hero.

After she finished, the pink-clad girl sighed, feeling a bit guilty. Pixel was doing a favor for her, and she wasn't being the nicest to him. Before collecting the papers she smiled quietly at him, "I really do appreciate your help. I'm sorry for being so touchy- I just really want to do this right. It means a lot to have Sportacus believe in me."

"I know," he said quietly, managing to smile reassuringly at her. "And just so you know, I always believe in you." Did he really just say that? The boy mentally smacked himself for saying something so painfully cheesy.

"Really?" the girl was clearly taken aback by that. She blushed slightly and her smile turned shy. That was something she hadn't expected Pixel to say, and she wasn't sure why it made her so happy to hear. "Thank you," she mumbled, shuffling the papers into a pile and placing it on the closed book, "And for the help- I hope it wasn't too much trouble."

The gizmo guy smiled shyly back at her, trying not to let his optimism get the better of him. It failed. He couldn't help but hope that blush meant something. "It was no problem, really, I'm always happy to help you."

Stephanie's blush deepened slightly and she nodded. "I should probably go get this book back to Sportacus and start looking through the pages."

"Let me know if you want my help with that- I know how boring it can be to study alone," he offered, feeling a bit more cheerful now. He knew that that would probably turn into another instance of her gushing over the elf, but if there was any chance that she might like him- he could take it.

The girl grinned widely at that, "That's a great idea! You're really smart, I'm sure you'll be able to figure out what's useful in this easily." This time Pixel blushed, and was immediately glad that he offered. She hesitated for a moment, "Are you busy right now?"

"Not really, why?"

Stephanie smiled, "Well, we're both here already and I don't have to get this back to Sportacus immediately- so if you aren't busy we can just start now." After this she bit her lip, a bit concerned that he'd say no.

Pixel hesitated for a moment. While he would love to spend more time with Stephanie, he didn't want this to just turn into more gushing about Sportacus. He looked up at her, and realized that he really couldn't say no that face.

"Of course, let me pull up my word processor so we can make notes in it," he said with a smile, grabbing a few pens and highlighters from his desk as he did.

---

A few hours later and they had come to the conclusion that the book was mostly useless. It was more an informative book about magic than an instructional book about how to do it. This wasn't a total failure, they now had a better idea of what they needed to look up, but it was still a bit disheartening to come up nearly empty handed.

Despite her insistence that the book be cared for, Stephanie slammed it on the table in frustration. She had tried slamming the paper she was reading, but it just wasn't that satisfying so she had to actually slam the book.

"Hey, it's alright," Pixel assured her, a bit scared by that action. He'd never seen Stephanie do anything remotely violent. "We got a lot of good information here- we're actually farther than we started. Sportacus will definitely appreciate the effort."

The pink-clad girl nodded, sighing. "I know… I just feel like I should be able to do more than this. I guess I better get the book and everything we've found to him. Maybe it'll be more useful than it seems"

"You did a lot of work, you should be proud of yourself. We're definitely closer to finding the answer- now I have a better idea of what I need to research and that means better results," he persisted, hoping to get her feel better. This earned a bit of a smile, and she nodded quietly.

"I guess you're right. I'm just used to problems that you can solve in half an hour, and I hate feeling like I'm letting Spo—_everyone_ down." She looked uncertainly at Pixel. She wasn't sure why, but she had noticed the boy got a bit edgy when she mentioned the hero, and was trying to avoid it.

The gizmo guy smiled at her. "You aren't- _everyone_ knows how hard you work to help Lazytown and how much you care. No one will think you let us down- you couldn't do that."

Stephanie smiled back, not quite sure if she believed him. It was nice to hear, though. After a moment she walked over to where he was sitting and hugged him.

"Thanks, I really needed to hear that," she told him quietly after breaking away. "You've been a lot of help. I don't think I could do this without you."

Pixel would have replied to this, but the hug had shut his brain down temporarily. He mumbled something, instantly turning to the sanctuary of his computer to print out the notes they had made. He handed them to her before saying, "It wasn't any trouble, and it's fun hanging out with you."

"It's fun to hang out with you, too," she said brightly, taking the paper and placing it in the book. "I better head out now, though. It's almost time for lunch and I don't want my uncle to worry about me if I don't show up. Bye!"

"I'll see you later," he agreed as she left the room. Pixel sighed heavily as he sat back down at his computer. It was so much easier to deal with machines- you knew how they worked and if you didn't like it you could reprogram them. Girls, however, were terribly complicated and didn't even come with an instruction manual.

* * *

***I always feel a bit sorry for the mayor; he gets pretty ignored even in the series. He's just not very main character-ish. He's barely secondary character-ish. Poor guy.

If you can tell who the book is from- that's good. I wasn't really trying to make it difficult. And if you can't, well, then it'll be a surprise.

Also- all my magic related stuff is going to be loosely based on a quick googling of wicca. Sorry if I offend anyone, I don't know anything about magic or magick.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: Warning, gore and pathetically sad Stephanie. Those two aren't related at all, but I'm sure some people find sad!Stephanie more upsetting than a bit of blood.

* * *

Sportacus hadn't expected to get the book back that same day, so when another letter found it's way into his airship he was fairly surprised. He went down to where the girl was waiting by the mailbox and immediately looked down at his chest to verify the crystal wasn't beeping.

He had never seen the girl look so miserable. She was staring at her shoes and everything about her stature was downcast. After rushing over he gently asked, "Stephanie, what's wrong? Did something happen?"

The girl shook her head, looking up at him. She wasn't crying, but it looked like she was about to. "No," she admitted, "We weren't able to find much from the book. It feels like there are no options left."

The elf sighed, "Stephanie, you can't put this all on yourself. You aren't the only one working on this- and we're far from finished. This was just _one_ path that turned out to be a dead-end. Don't be so upset- things will work out. There's always a way, right?"

A small smile tugged at her lips, "Of course there is. I just wish I could do more. It seems like there are so many dead ends."

There was no way to argue with that, it definitely seemed like that was the case. He nodded, "You're right. But even if we try 100 things that don't work- what matters is that we will find the one thing that does."

"You really think we will?"

"I see no reason to doubt it," he replied warmly. That wasn't entirely true, he often doubted it, but he had faith that they would be able to find a solution just like they always did. "We always find a way to work things out- why would this be any different?"

Stephanie smiled softly. She still had a lot of doubts and wasn't entirely sure if she believed it would be all right, but she could learn to if Sportacus was certain it would. "Okay, I'll keep that in mind. I'm still sorry I couldn't help more, though. Tell me if there's anything else I can do, alright?"

"If I ever need help- you'll be the first to know," he promised.

The pink-clad girl was about to reply when her stomach loudly announced its hunger. She blushed deeply, remembering that she was supposed to go to her house for lunch before returning the book. "It looks like I better head in for lunch."

The elf raised an eyebrow; it was a bit late for lunch. Everyone knew what happened when Pixel stayed up all night playing video games, and he didn't want to see this happening to Stephanie. Especially not over him. "That's a good idea- you need to eat 3 square meals a day to have the energy you need," he reminded her.

Stephanie grinned, rolling her eyes at the mini-lecture that she'd heard a million times. "Don't worry, Sportacus, I know. Don't forget to tell me if you need my help!"

"I won't, and thank you for what you've done!" he called as she ran off to her house. He picked up the book that she had left on the mailbox and quickly looked over the paper that sat in it. Based on the notes on it, she was right that the book hadn't been particularly useful, but it was still good to know that books like this were out there. He might be able to find a more in depth one.

He also had to make sure he knew where this book had come from. The hero was pretty sure that Robbie Rotten had been the one to send it, but finding out might not be straightforward. It wouldn't surprise him if the self-proclaimed villain would deny sending it whether he had or not.

There was only one way to find out. But before he returned it, he had to make sure that the children hadn't missed anything in their efforts. That and he really couldn't justify going to see Robbie after the man had made it clear he didn't want the elf around.

---

Justification came soon enough, though. A few days later, with the book somewhere in the airship's many hideaway compartments and almost forgotten, Sportacus's crystal alerted that someone was in trouble.

The crystal flashing was barely worth mentioning most of the time. This time, however, it was signaling that Robbie was in trouble. This was in itself fairly unusual, the only times the hero could think of it happening was when the villain was up to no good and ended up having his scheme backfiring. The elf couldn't help but wonder if he was back to his old tricks now. After a quick scan out the door of his airship to make sure there was nothing obvious going on, he headed for the villain's lair.

The entrance was unlocked, so he jumped in without asking and immediately shouted, "Robbie!"

After the word stopped reverberating around the lair- the villain's cursing could be heard from behind a door. Hesitating for a moment, the hero walked over and opened it.

"Erm, Robbie?" he repeated quieter, looking in. It was clearly a bedroom. An extremely messy, possibly disused bedroom. The villain was sitting on the bed with his back turned to the door, with a first aid kit out next to him. So he was in trouble.

"I can handle myself fine, Sportacreep," Robbie hissed. There was something wrong with his voice- it sounded like he was hissing it through clenched teeth and the man was clearly shaking. The elf bit his lip before walking over to see what was going on.

Sportacus almost feinted at the sight. There was a gash in the villain's right thumb that went about an inch down the palm that was still bleeding a great deal. Robbie's pants were soaked with blood, and a blood-soaked towel sat on his lap. Looking at the ground, the hero now noticed that there was a trail of blood spatters. That wasn't even the worst part- Robbie was actually stitching the thing up himself. The elf looked around quickly for any sign of anesthetics or painkillers. He didn't see any. He shuddered at the thought, nausea paining his stomach for the first time in years.

There was no response to this. What did you even say to such a thing? The hero instead just stared with wide eyes, biting his lip as he tried to process what was happening.

Robbie glared at the elf, "Look- this is kind of fucking difficult, extremely painful and I'm right handed. So could you please not stare like that? It's a bit distracting."

Finally words came to mind, "Is there anything I can do to help?"

"Go to the kitchen and grab an ice pack from the freezer," the villain replied through gritted teeth, continuing with his work. Thankfully the gash wasn't _too_ long, only 6 or so stitches needed, but it was still a rather unpleasant job, especially since the shock was starting to wear off. The last two were always the hardest- at that point you wanted to get it over with and the pain was unbearable, but that only led to mistakes he couldn't afford.

Finally he cut the end of the surgical thread and placed the curved needle down and grabbed for the gauze. He could put ointment on it later, now he just wanted it done with.

"Let me do that," the hero said gently, returning with 5 ice packs. It had taken him a bit of time to navigate the lair and find the kitchen, or he would have been back sooner.

He placed them on the bed before kneeling in front of the man and taking the gauze and delicately wrapping it around the wound so that the thumb was held in place. The elf tried not to look at the wound too much, he never realized just how little he could stand to see actual injuries. No wonder he was so determined to keep everyone in Lazytown safe, he couldn't stand the sight of blood.

Robbie placed an ice pack on the wound before falling back on the bed and squeezing his eyes shut. A string of words that Sportacus had never heard and was quite certain didn't want to know the meaning of followed this.

The sports elf sat down gingerly on the bed, not at all certain what to do. He looked over at the man's face, it looked like he may have actually passed out.

"Erm- Robbie?" he asked quietly, resisting the urge to scold the tall man. What was he thinking- suturing himself? And that he actually had the right tools, it probably wasn't the first time.

The villain's eye opened slightly and he growled quietly. "Not now."

Sportacus stood up and took a deep breath, feeling a bit torn. Part of him wanted to get the hell out of there. He needed fresh air, sports candy, and possibly a few hours with a therapist to get this whole experience behind him. Robbie never seemed happy to have the hero around, and this was no exception, so he'd hardly face any objection to leaving. But at the same time- was someone who actually sutured his own hand a person you could leave alone?

"You realize if you feint I'm physically incapable of helping you, right?" Robbie muttered, pushing himself up with his good hand. In different circumstances he would have been amused to see the hero pale as a sheet and utterly spooked. Unfortunately, his mind was too focused on trying to remember where his pain medicine was and how to manage a child-proof cap one-handed.

Why wasn't that in with his first aid kit again? Oh, right, it was now somewhere in the wreckage that was his house trying to handle the migraines from those blasted brats' playing. That figured.

"I've never feinted in my life," the hero retorted, placing his fists on his hips defiantly although he blushed furiously that he had been so weak. "Now take it easy- let me help you. You _need_ help right now."

The villain snarled at this. He needed a lot of things but help from the overgrown child was not on that list. Dealing with Sportacus in his lair was more like babysitting, and that was something he just wasn't interested in dealing with.

"Look- I've done this plenty of times before," he groaned at the disapproving look, "Fine- just try to stay out of my way." The man stood up at this, wobbling slightly and ignoring the elf's concerned look and offers to help.

He stumbled slightly over to the kitchen, his mind desperately clinging to clarity to think of what he needed. The pain he felt was screaming at him to curl into a ball and cry for a few hours. If the damned goody-two-shoes wasn't around he might have done so.

That would end badly, though, he needed something in his system to replace the blood lost and to help handle the stress on his body. Right now he had to focus, he could spend the next few days throwing a tantrum over his own clumsiness and the hero's meddling. And he most certainly would.

* * *

A/N: I _really_ hope I don't have to say this, but do NOT try this at home! The idea for him stitching it up came from me wondering how he got out of his lair if he ever got hurt, and coming to the conclusion that he couldn't and just dealt with it himself. Also from the webcomic Kagerou in which a character stitches up his own face with dental floss and no mirror. *shivers* Now THAT's a bad idea.

Apologies for the gore, please review, and as always- thank you for reading. Also apologies for this chapter being so short. It shouldn't take long for me to get the next one up.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: Two updates in one day! Whoo. Mostly I just want to get over this bit, I don't like it very much. I still own nothing. Thank you so much for reading!

* * *

"I don't think you should be walking around right now," insisted again, trying not to let on how completely out of his element he was. Even in times of crisis he was always the one to stay calm and be in charge, and he wasn't about to let that change now.

The tall man shook his head as he reached the refrigerator, ignoring this. He couldn't help but wonder when the last time the elf had actually seen a wound was, and was certain there wasn't an 'M.D.' after that ridiculous number in his name. Pardon him for not listening to the advice of someone who had no idea what he was talking about.

The refrigerator was, as always, populated primarily with sweets and cakes and sodas and things that he'd usually love to gobble up but wasn't what he needed right now. After a few moments he saw something that would work fine- a glass of juice from the day before. The villain didn't even bother making sure it was still good, he didn't really care at this point, and instead just gingerly grabbed it with his unhurt hand and started sipping on it.

Although it was juice, and technically fruit and some degrees of healthy, it had enough sugar in it to send the elf into a coma for a week. It was still welcome to him, and the feeling of the cool liquid running down his throat made him realize just how thirsty he was. It seemed to help clear his head slightly as well, but that was unwelcome. A clearer mind to reflect on what had happened in the last half hour only made him feel sick. He prided himself on being self-reliant, but that didn't make things like this any easier.

"Robbie, you really need to be eating healthier right now," the elf sighed, shaking his head at what he assumed to be soda.

The villain shot him a smirk at this, "I am- this is _juice_. Made with real fruit—sorry, _sport candy_." He took another sip, "I think strawberries among other things, and pomegranate. Why do I have anything with pomegranate in it?" he asked himself, looking at the reddish liquid in the glass with disgust.

Sportacus stared in disbelief. "Why would you have—?"

"—You can smother just about every fruit in chocolate and turn it into a dessert," he replied bitterly, "It's your own damn fault- trying to get rid of you requires a higher level of nutrition in my diet."

It took a bit of work for the hero not to look pleased with himself. He was actually elated that his message had gotten to the tall man, it only proved his theory that there was hope for him yet, but showing this would probably bring Robbie to rebel further and purge himself of all things healthy.

The hero glanced at the villain and noticed the bloodstains on his clothes, the wooziness returning. "Do you have any water?" he asked hopefully, the villain nodded.

"For hot chocolate and coffee-flavored sugar and cream- don't trust the water faucet," he clarified. Technically the second one was just coffee- usually flavored with chocolate or caramel- but with as much cream and sugar as he added to make it palatable; that was a misnomer.

The elf raised an eyebrow at that last one but shrugged and went back to the kitchen to grab a bottle of water. An apple on the counter caught his eye- how had he not seen that before?

"You're not very good with blood, are you?" Robbie asked as the hero came back, already ¼ done with the water bottle. Sportacus blushed slightly, shaking his head. The villain didn't seem to care, and simply went back to the strange concoction he was drinking. The hero sighed and started pacing.

"How long are you planning on doing that?" Robbie asked as he finished the last bit of his drink, walking over to place it in the sink. He then replaced the ice pack with a fresh one from the freezer and looked at himself, grimacing at all the blood. This would be a fun laundry day.

Sportacus stopped, and started fidgeting with his hands, "Sorry- I just don't know what to do."

"I can take care of this, Sport freak," he repeated, rolling his eyes. "You can feel free to leave any time you want. But you can take your time figuring it out- I need to get a shower then clean this thing."

"Are you sure you'll be alright?"

Robbie glanced at him, "It's a shower. I'm sure it won't be too taxing."

"Still…"

The tall man groaned, "Look- I'll be fine. And I need one anyways, I don't like having dry blood on me."

"I'd still feel better if—"

"_Please_ do not suggest you be intimately involved with this. It's not happening."

"You could crack your head open!"

The villain growled; this wasn't happening. He drew the line at this. But the elf could easily overpower him and could be stubborn, so compromise was necessary. "I'll leave the door unlocked so you can get in if your crystal starts beeping for me." Sportacus nodded uncertainly, that seemed reasonable enough. He looked down at his crystal, wondering why it wasn't still flashing even though Robbie was obviously still in trouble.

Robbie retreated to his bedroom and all but slammed the door after him. This was aggravating. His mind was foggy with pain and he still had no idea where the medication was, although he'd have to check the medicine cabinet in the bathroom. The blood-loss and adrenaline wasn't helping either, and here was the sports elf attempting to play doctor. Robbie had done this a dozen times at least, and didn't feel like having to hold the hero's hand through it.

The villain continued grumbling to himself, mainly about how it just _had_ to be his stronger hand that got hurt. With a bit of effort, he retrieved a pair of sweatpants and a clean shirt that would be easy enough to slip on and headed for the bathroom for his shower.

He first checked the medicine cabinet for pain meds and was delighted to find a bottle. With a bit of ingenuity and teeth, he was able to get the "child-proof" cap open and swallowed a few. Hopefully that would, at minimum, keep him from getting a migraine thanks to the overgrown 5 year old 'hero'.

It took a bit of grunting and cursing and annoyance to get out of his clothes one-handed, but he did it. The shower went about the same, now with the added difficulty of keeping the wound dry, but it was definitely something he needed. It helped clear his head and it was always nice (although creepy) to get the blood off.

Redressing, he grimaced at the thought of having to clean the gash. If the elf could stand the sight of gore, he might actually come in handy. Unfortunately, he couldn't.

The villain stepped out to see Sportacus placing all the non-bloodied thing back into his first-aid kit. He rubbed the towel through his dripping hair again and threw it on the bathroom floor behind him before walking over to the bed.

"You shouldn't be doing that," he said gently, placing a hand on his hip and shaking his head.

The elf glanced up guiltily, "I know you said not to touch any of your things- but I can't help it. I had to do _something_."

"Yeah, but I have to clean this and re-bandage it, so we're just going to have to take all that stuff back out," he explained, gingerly unwrapping the gauze. The elf pulled a face at the idea of having to see it again, but nodded. "I'll clean this off first, you might as well stay here- I don't want you fainting at this." The hero was about to say something in objection to this, but Robbie had already returned to the bathroom and closed the door.

When Robbie got the gauze off, he tossed it in the waste bin and gingerly used a damp washcloth to get all the dried blood off of it. He cringed at the pain as well as the sight of the pathetically done stitches. Not his best work at all- but they'd do. It looked much better when the blood was off. Still hurt like hell, but at least has entire hand wasn't covered in a slightly cracking, dark red mess.

"It's safe to look now," he said with a slight smile as he walked back in, showing his handiwork.

"That looks a lot better," Sportacus said with a relieved sigh. It still made him a bit ill to look at, but it wasn't half as bad now. "You should probably stop working on whatever got you that cut. It seems like it's dangerous," he added, picturing some nasty and spiky device misfiring and slicing him.

"Er… Actually," he mumbled, looking over the ointment to make sure it was the right one before handing it to the elf to put on the wound. His left-hand really was useless. "This happened while trying to clean up a bit. I don't know if that means I need to do it more often or just stop altogether."

The hero raised an eyebrow then shook his head, applying the ointment unpleasantly. He winced the entire time, almost gagging at the feel of the sutures and broken skin. This was something he hoped to never have to do again. EVER.

"If you don't want to, I can do it," he offered, reaching for the ointment. The elf shook his head fervently and continued, eyebrows furrowed with determination. Maybe asking for his help was a bad idea…

"Okay, that's enough," Robbie insisted, quickly fixing the job before picking up a few gauze pads and placing them over the wound. Sportacus relaxed visibly when the gore was gone, and had no problem rewrapping the bandages as Robbie re-repacked the first aid kit.

"There, that should do," the elf said, standing up in his signature pose and grinning. He was clearly proud of himself.

"Thank you, that would've been impossible to do on my own," Robbie said gently, trying not to groan at the thought of acknowledging the elf's help. He distracted himself by closing the kit and placing it on the night table. He glanced at the bandages afterwards. It _was_ nicely done. Except that he was certain that the sports elf wouldn't be able to do it, he almost wished that he had been around for the suturing. Almost.

"Are you going to be alright?" Sportacus asked nervously as Robbie gathered up all the bloodied gauze and cotton balls and threw them out. The villain nodded, rolling his eyes, wincing as he moved his hand slightly. He grabbed the ice pack he had left on the sink and put it back on. Much better.

Quietly he walked back to the bed and collapsed on it. "Yes, I'll be fine," he muttered bitterly, pushing himself up with his unhurt arm and sitting so that he could brush his hair out of his lies. It was pretty long when it wasn't jelled back, and wet hair clinging to his forehead was an unpleasant experience.

"Well- you are a villain. Lying is to be expected," Sportacus observed. He shook his head, "I can't leave you like that- I definitely can't take you to my airship—"

"I don't do heights," the tall man hissed, crossing his arms stubbornly with a wince.

"_Can't_ take you," he repeated with a kind smile, "I guess I'm stuck staying here."

"Oh like hell," Robbie muttered, trying not to be relieved at that idea. He really hated taking care of himself at times like this. When he wasn't grimacing at blood, the sports elf could be damn useful. Sportacus gave him a pointed look- this was definitely happening. Lovely.

"_Fine_," he snarled, "Now what?"

"Now you rest," he replied with a smirk, the words were foreign on his tongue. That earned a chuckle from the wounded villain, who would have thought Sportacus would be telling Robbie Rotten to _rest_? "I'll go make everything's okay in town and be back later. And if anything happens- I'll know," he tapped the plate on his chest to indicate the crystal inside.

"Fair enough," the man muttered, closing his eyes and almost immediately sinking out of consciousness. He hadn't really felt exhausted, a bit drowsy but he figured that was the medication, but the entire experience had drained him and as soon as he had the chance his body happily sunk into a deep sleep.

Sportacus smiled, looking around for a blanket to put on his so-called archnemesis before going up to check on everything.


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: Uploaded part 10 instead of 9 please pretend that didn't happen...

* * *

Robbie woke up with a headache. Why did he have a headache? First- what time was it? Groggily he leaned over and reached for the clock he kept by his bed. This was rewarded with a shooting pain. Right. His hand had stitches. He'd need to make a sling for that or he would keep trying to use it.

Sitting up he finally got the clock with his left hand and looked over it blearily. It was morning now. 6:30 am. How long had he been asleep? Maybe that was why he had the headache. Either way- he needed pain meds before he woke up enough for his hand to start seriously aching again. And then he would need breakfast. Great.

He sighed, leaning back against the headboard and letting his right arm fall beside him. It hit something. Something that wasn't blankets or bed. Something flesh-like. Nervously he turned his head, drowsy memories of the previous day coming to him.

A part of him boiled with fury that the elf decided he could _share_ his bed without even asking. Another bit of him asked why on earth that bothered him since it's not like the overly innocent elf would try anything. Sportacus had even stayed above the covers so in most respects they didn't sleep together even in the non-sexual sense. He sighed to himself, looking over at the hero. Sportacus was pretty much fully dressed; except that his hat had fallen off in his sleep and his golden curls and pointed ears were visible.

"Doesn't look half bad, even if he does still have that stupid mustache," he muttered to himself, swinging his legs out of the bed and making his way to the kitchen after quickly grabbing the pain pills from the bathroom and swallowing a few more. What to eat, what to eat, what to eat?

A very short while later the hero woke up, only needing a second to reorient himself. He wouldn't even have needed that, except that his toothbrush didn't come when he called for it. One morning without brushing his teeth probably wouldn't kill him, although it rubbed him the wrong way.

The elf heard noises from the kitchen, and he realized that this was what had woken him and that Robbie was up before him. He stretched slightly as he walked over, and was surprised to find the tall man busy at the stove.

"Are you sure that's a good idea, Robbie?" he asked nervously, not convinced that being incapacitated while cooking was a good idea. He looked over at what the man was making- bacon and eggs. Not something Sportacus would eat, but not terribly unhealthy either.

He shrugged, "Eh- maybe not, but as I've said I've done this before. Besides, I probably need protein and I really need to get something in my stomach with the medicine."

Sportacus simply stared at him for a very long time."I thought you hated being healthy."

"I'm not a big fan of being healthy but when you live alone you have to learn these things to survive," he muttered. This went double when you happened to live in an underground lair that wasn't exactly easy to get yourself out of once you got hurt, and was filled with all sorts of contraptions that could do all sorts of nasty things to you.

He finished with the cooking and slid the meal onto a plate with some difficulty before depositing the pan and spatula in the sink. Now for the hard part. Using utensils.

"Do you mind if I have some of your Sports candy?" the elf asked, getting back to his senses as his stomach reminded him what time it was. He would probably have to head back to his airship to do his morning exercises, but first he had to makes sure the villain was doing alright.

Robbie simply nodded, motioning to where it was and hoping that 'you can grab some water if you want it' was implied before sitting down in his chair and making a 'mind over matter' attempt to wield a fork with his weak hand while attempting to balance the plate on his wounded hand.

It was a spectacular, amazing, brilliant, and astonishing failure. The eggs lay defeated but uneaten from his haphazard attempts to cut and skewer them using only a fork in the wrong hand. But he could eat the bacon with his fingers- so that was all right. Better than nothing at least.

Sportacus had watched the display from the kitchen, munching on a peach as he did, but said nothing. It was fun to watch the villain attempt something like that- a bit like watching a small child who was positive he could do it himself but couldn't. Not only that, but Robbie seemed to genuinely enjoy the challenge and had a look of amused victory as he munched the bacon. That might have been the first smile he'd seen on Robbie's face that didn't come from someone else's misfortune.

The hero shook his head before returning to the kitchen and looking around at what all the man had in there. Lots of sweets, chocolates, cakes, caramels, sugar, all sorts of things that would have the hero in a coma from now till doomsday- next to healthy things like fruits and even the occasional vegetable.

During this time Robbie returned the plate to the kitchen- Sportacus was surprised to note that the eggs had disappeared and was desperately curious to find out how that had happened- and looked over at his 'guest'. "What?"

"Nothing, you just surprise me is all," he said with a gentle smile. "I guess I shouldn't have wasted so much time lecturing you to be healthier."

Robbie ignored this, grabbing a box of sugar cubes and sticking one in his mouth before walking back out. The elf rolled his eyes, then again- maybe he still had a lot more lecturing to do.

It probably would have been more accurate to say 'Robbie _pretended_ to ignore this'. In reality, he was actually a bit annoyed at the elf knowing he was so healthy and only went for the sugar cubes as an act of defiance. He couldn't think of anything that would be worse to the elf than straight sugar. In reality, sugar was a bad idea right now. It made him a bit nauseous. But he wasn't telling the sports freak that any time soon.

"I need a sling or something," he said out loud. This was partly because, living alone, you get used to talking to yourself to fill the silence. And partly because he knew Sportacus was listening and would be eager to help him find something to make one out of.

Right on cue, the elf flipped over. Robbie wondered how long he'd been saving _that_ one up and was glad he didn't accidentally hit anything. "Why do you need a sling?"

Robbie pointed to the bandage, "I keep using this hand out of habit. It's my strong arm and all. I need a sling to remind me that I can't use it now. It's not a serious need and only for a few days- but it'd be easier."

Sportacus rubbed his chin thoughtfully. He had a few medical supplies in his airship just in case someone got hurt- he was pretty sure he had a sling as well. The elf grinned brightly at Robbie, who took an uncertain step backwards. "I think I have one in my ship- I'll go and check."

"Okay, thanks," he said uncertainly, watching as the hyperactive elf bounded out of his lair. A good bit of the villain expected Sportacus to take the opportunity to stretch his legs, and really didn't mind too much if that was the case. As much as he was grateful to have some help, he greatly appreciated being alone.

With a sigh he walked over to a trash can and spat out what was left of the sugar cube, gagging at the lingering taste. Muttering incoherent curses to himself, he walked back to his chair and flipped on the TV. He was becoming friends with the sport elf. That was not something he was okay with.

---

Sportacus had every intention of going to his airship, getting the sling, and coming right back. Well, after spending a few minutes on exercises- but that couldn't be helped. It wasn't really safe to do his usual flipping in Robbie's lair, and his muscles were itching to be used.

But on his way back, the children assaulted him. Even though he'd spent most of yesterday afternoon playing with them, they all claimed to have missed their hero dearly and demanded he play a game with them, and he agreed a bit more eagerly than he wanted to admit.

Guilt would nag at him either way- but this way he was around people who were openly happy about his presence and he got to be active. As a result that he fully anticipated when he agreed, it was a few hours before he was able to get back to the underground lair.

He did indeed have a sling that would probably fit the villain, and was a bit too excited to show it to him- but couldn't help but stop when he got there. Robbie's legs were slung over the back of the chair with his back on the seat of the chair, his bad arm resting on his chest as his good arm held a spoon in his mouth. A half-empty container of cool-whip sat next to him and his eyes were glued intently to the screen.

"What are you doing?" the elf sighed, fairly disappointed with the scene.

Robbie attempted to sit up, but when the blood rushed from his head he just got dizzy and collapsed back down. "_Nothing_," he snarled, more annoyed at his headache than the elf, "it's all there is to do. I'm strung out on pain medication, my hand still hurts like hell so I can't do anything with it and there's nothing on TV except for a Spanish soap opera."

"I didn't know you spoke Spanish."

"I don't," he replied vaguely as his eyes returned to the screen, "But it's still addicting somehow."

Sportacus walked over and hit the 'Power' button on the TV before turning to the villain. "Am I going to have to babysit you 24/7 until your arm heals?" he asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Yeah- because getting introduced to a new culture is a _terrible_ thing," Robbie replied as he got up a bit more steadily this time. He ended up lying across the arms of the chair, his head pounding its objection.

The elf stopped- what was he doing that was so bad? He supposed the sugar was a problem, but he'd _seen_ Robbie eat healthy of his own volition and could probably be trusted. He could complain about the sloth, but Robbie generally was and he had a point that his hand made things difficult especially since the wound was so fresh. The posture was just bizarre- but on its own not really a problem, to his knowledge.

"Sorry," he said quietly, handing the sling to the man. A morning of hearing the kids insist that Robbie was up to something probably had not helped his views, but he hated to think he would think ill of someone so easily.

Robbie just nodded, looking over the sling for a moment before putting it on and testing it. It seemed to do what it was supposed to do, and he smiled. Much better. He looked over at Sportacus, who was deep in thought again.

"What's on your mind now?" he drawled, not terribly interested but still not wanting to have a depressed sport elf sulking in his lair. It just clashed with the décor something fierce.

Sportacus shook his head, "Nothing- I just felt bad about scolding you like that."

"It's like I told you- we're nemeses, it's what we do," he replied lazily, not at all bothered by it. The elf winced at the term just the same. That wasn't what he wanted it to be. He didn't _want_ a nemesis, and he certainly didn't want to automatically assume the worse of someone.

He sighed, sitting down and leaning against the chair. "You're weird on pain medication, you know that?"

"Yeah- I lose a lot of my charm and wit," he replied dully, "And I get really. Freaking. Bored."

Sportacus rolled his eyes at the first bit. So that's what he called it. The devious part of him wished he could keep Robbie this way forever, he was a lot easier to get along with.

"I can't suggest anything for the boredom- everything I like to do is out," the elf sighed again, wondering why he was even here. It seemed like he wasn't doing anything but get in the way.

Robbie nodded, rolling over so that he was now facing Sportacus while being stretched out over the armrests. Not quite as comfortable, but better for conversation. His head was now just about next to the hero's.

"We can always just talk," he teased with a grin. The elf made an attempt to scowl, but he couldn't help but grin as well. "Eh- you help some. Definitely better than watching Alejandra tell Frederica that her long-lost son was his half-brother," Sportacus just gave him a very confused look. He had gotten all that from a language he didn't even speak? Robbie ignored this and simply cocked his head to one side, "Why do you always wear that hat? It makes you look really silly."

"I like it," the elf grumbled, "Besides- it's part of the outfit. It's part of what makes me a Sportacus."

"It hides your ears," Robbie added, poking one through the fabric.

"Okay, mostly that," he agreed, swatting the hand away. Having something that obviously differentiated him from humans always made him uncomfortable. He wasn't sure how many people in Lazytown even realized he was an elf, or how they'd react if they knew. It also kept his hair out of his face. "Do you want me to take it off?"

The villain was now playing with his own hair absent-mindedly. Apparently pain medicine also took away his ability to concentrate. Sportacus briefly wondered if he needed to make sure the man wasn't overdosing. "If you want, I've already seen you without it."

"What about you? Why do you always keep your hair gelled back when it looks weirder than my hat?" he changed the subject, deciding to keep the hat on but feeling extremely self-conscious now. It was a new emotion for him, and not a particularly pleasant one.

Robbie groaned, "_I don't like people_. I don't care if I look weird, it just encourages people to avoid me."

"It looks good down, even when it's in that unbrushed mess," the elf observed, a bit annoyed that he had such a quick and logical answer when Sportacus only had a half-assed excuse to keep his hat.

"Thanks," he muttered in reply, pushing himself up and sitting on the chair properly, legs curled to his chest.

Sportacus stood up immediately at this, concerned. "Did I say something wrong?"

Robbie rolled his eyes and leaned his head against the chair so he was staring at the ceiling. This was not something he felt like explaining. It was stupid, he knew it was stupid, but it was still how he felt- he did _not_ want to befriend Sportadork. He didn't want to be comfortable in his presence. He didn't want to be glad he was around.

There was a list of reasons- starting with the fact that he just wasn't comfortable around people and didn't want to encourage more of these visits than he had to. After that, if he did get attached he knew damn well where he would sit on the list of importance- below those brats that he couldn't stand to be around. And, finally, he had a few concerns about trusting the hero. Although it was probably a bit late for those concerns now.

"No," he muttered.

The elf frowned, "Then what are you upset about?"

"Nothing I feel like telling you."

"Do you want me to go?"

The villain shrunk a bit at this. His shoulder's slumped, he bit his lip, and he couldn't help but give a worried glance to the hero. This lasted for all of a second before he remembered himself. Quickly he rolled his eyes and snorted derisively. Sportacus smiled sadly at that. Robbie was acting like a stubborn child, but that was normal enough. '_All right, then. I'll stay_.' He glanced at his chest plate, waiting for it to start blinking at the least opportune moment. To his relief, it didn't.

"It's going to take a week or two for my arm to heal up, you know," he said quietly.

"Then I'll have to make sure you take care of yourself so that it does heal up by then," Sportacus replied with a grin. The villain smirked, nodding.

Robbie sighed, "You're infuriating, you know that?" The elf shook his head, again wondering what he had done wrong. The villain chuckled, "I really did _not_ want to be your friend and yet- here we are. Honestly, I don't know how I put up with you."

"You're the one who turns every compliment into an insult," Sportacus replied, amused that Robbie Rotten had gone from calling him a nemesis to calling him a friend in only a few minutes. He may have felt bad about the situation if it weren't for the pleased look the tall man had when he said it. "Can I hug you?"

Robbie eyed the elf for a moment before nodding. "Thank you."

"Are you thanking me hugging you?"

"No- I'm thanking you for asking. I'm hoping positive reinforcement will mean that you continue to do so and don't think it's okay to start hugging me whenever you feel like it," the villain corrected. The elf nodded, feeling fairly scolded. Robbie groaned, standing up and holding his good arm out, "Argh, come here- and watch the hand." So much for positive reinforcement.

"Of course," the sport elf promised with a shy smile before gingerly wrapping his arms around the tall man. To his surprise, Robbie didn't tense at all at it, instead he leaned his head on Sportacus's and sighed for a moment.

"Absolutely infuriating," he muttered, breaking the embrace. He glared at the floor as if that would undo what he just did, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

* * *

A/N: A bit longer this time, and maybe a bit fluffier. I hope that makes up for the gore.


	10. Chapter 10

Robbie was torn between chuckling evilly at the thought of the innocent little girl helping him with this particular device and a pang of guilt that had just lurched in his stomach. That was unexpected. He needed to get the girl away, of course, she couldn't be involved in something like this.

Wait, what was that? A conscience? How did he even manage to get one of those? Maybe it wasn't a conscience, and just that he knew Sportacus was paying more attention to the villain and now Robbie couldn't get away with as much. Yeah, that was it.

As much as a hard-to-repress part of him _liked_ having the slightly-above-average hero around, it didn't mesh very well with Robbie in general. When he finally got to the point where he could wrap the bandages himself and function well enough, he was pretty much done with the whole 'being babysat' thing. He was still fairly grouchy over not being able to use his arm, and having someone (especially a health-conscious sportsnut who made it clear how he felt every time the villain went for something sugary) around so often was just not pleasant.

So a few days later he essentially banned Sportacus from coming down to the lair unless the crystal alerted him to trouble. He was a bit nicer about it than he usually was, but the point still remained. It was easier on everyone, anyways. Robbie didn't have to deal with another person for any longer, Sportacus got to be back in his element. See? Win-win.

The villain celebrated his half of the win via Death by Chocolate ice cream right out of the carton. Victory was sweet. And went well with milk. He would have to remember this.

A few hours later, sufficiently gorged on sugar, he went around his lair to figure out what to do with himself now. For the past few days he'd had that nagging feeling that he was forgetting something. This probably meant he was, and he now had the time, energy, and privacy to figure out what it was.

After rifling through some papers he finally came across an order form. Of course. Dammit.

The inventions of his that actually worked (aka- the ones not made to defeat Sportacus) were somewhat renowned among people with an interest in such inventions, and he was able to sell them and make a nice profit. Occasionally someone would also pay him to make something specific. As was the case now. And he had to figure out how to deal with this primarily with his left hand, and with about a week wasted. Asking the sports freak for help was right out- even if he wanted to, if the elf found out what this machine was actually for, Robbie would never hear the end of it and the machine would probably get smashed. Not worth it.

"Every challenge is an opportunity in disguise," he muttered to himself, eyeing his left hand uncertainly. If nothing else- this would be fun in the most infuriating and difficult way possible. He really needed to figure out robots so he could make an assistant for occasions such as this. That technophile, Poodle or something, would probably come in handy there- he could easily program the brain. But then he'd have to put up with one of those brats… Still not worth it.

He grabbed the tools he'd need to start this and slowly started to get the hang of what he was doing. With any luck the sports elf would remember his threats and leave him alone. This was not something that he wished to get into.

---

After a few days, Robbie had actually gotten the hang of using his left hand. He also barely needed the sling any more, as he was getting better at knowing what he could and couldn't do with his thumb still hurt. Al-in-all, he was making excellent progress.

And because of this, it was no surprise that someone chose then to interrupt him. It was one thing he hated about this town- as soon as he reached the point where he was fully in the swing of things and was at the peak of productivity something came up. He didn't even bother to look up when he heard someone land on his fuzzy chair- he knew it was the sport elf.

"Didn't I tell you to stay out?" he snarled, trying to regain the concentration he just lost.

"Actually, you never have." The sound of a high pitched and slightly pouting voice ruined all hope of concentration and the villain spun around, seething slightly. That blasted pink haired girl cheerfully sat playing with his chair, apparently enthralled by both the furriness and reclining nature.

"What are you doing here, Pinky?" he muttered, frowning at her and crossing his arms.

The girl got up from the chair at this and brushed herself off slightly before smiling up at the hero. "I wanted to make sure you were doing alright, no one had heard from you in awhile." At this point she noticed the bandage still on his left hand and gasped, "What happened to your hand, are you alright?"

Robbie was glad he wasn't wearing the sling as well and had started using the minimal amount of bandaging necessary or else it would have looked a lot worse and he'd have had to deal with _another_ child trying to play doctor.

"Just a minor accident," he replied with a shrug, "Nothing I can't handle, it's only bandaged so I don't make it worse while I work. It's not even my strong hand." He sincerely hoped Stephanie had never seen him write so she wouldn't realize he was lying.

At this the girl noticed the screwdriver still in his hand and the contraption behind him. It didn't take much to come to the conclusion that he had been in the middle of inventing something. She giggled slightly, and walked over eagerly. "Is that part of your next plan to get rid of Sportacus?"

"No," he groaned, not wanting to have Sportacus's little helper snooping around his lair. "It's really none of your business. But you've verified that I'm still alive and well- so why don't you stop trespassing and go back to your games?"

The girl frowned at this. Was she trespassing? That meant she was doing something wrong, something she shouldn't have done, but she'd knocked on the entrance a few times with no answer and had to make sure nothing bad was happening.

She shoved thoughts of moral ambiguity away and instead focused on the positive. Robbie was hurt, and probably needed help with his project. It wasn't against Sportacus, so she couldn't imagine it was anything she wouldn't want to help with.

"Well- you're hand is hurt, so how about I help you with what you're building?" she offered cheerfully, smiling brightly up at the tall man and batting her eyelashes cutely. She was still pretty sure that Robbie was just a lonely person who didn't know how to be with other people, and now was a perfect time to help with that.

Robbie was torn between chuckling evilly at the thought of the innocent little girl helping him with this particular device and a pang of guilt that had just lurched in his stomach. That was unexpected. He needed to get the girl away, of course, she couldn't be involved in something like this.

Wait, what was that? A conscience? How did he even manage to get one of those? Maybe it wasn't a conscience, and just that he knew Sportacus was paying more attention to the villain and now Robbie couldn't get away with as much. Yeah, that was it.

"Er…. "thank you" for the offer," he gagged out the pleasantry, to the girl's amusement, but he was hoping playing nice would get rid of her faster, "but no- I'm not going to babysit some dance happy, overeager brat so why don't you run along and find someone else to spread goodness and puppies to?" Not that 'playing nice' was something he was any good at.

"This is extremely complicated equipment," he continued, "It'd take more time to teach you what to do than it would to just do it myself. And I work _alone_," he snarled that last word before straightening back up, "and _without_ an audience. So if you wouldn't mind?"

Stephanie hesitated, biting her lip. Leaving might make Robbie happy in the short-term, but maybe if she found a way to make friends with him he'd end up being happier in the long term.

"Are you sure?" she asked quietly, "There's nothing wrong with asking for help when you need it."

The villain growled deep in his throat. How was it this hard to get rid of a 10 year old? Even if he did need help, which he didn't, he certainly wouldn't be going to the pink tornado. She was almost as bad as the blasted elf. The only one of those brats who would be remotely useful was the one with all the computers, and he wasn't the type to go breaking into someone's house just to harass them. Poodle always had been the child he hated least for that reason.

"Pinky, I do not need help. I definitely don't need _your_ help. I don't want you in my home, I never invited you here, so kindly get the _hell _out," he insisted again, raising his voice a bit more than he had intended.

Stephanie winced at the curse, she heard very little swearing so even something so mild was horrible vulgarity. She faltered in her resolve to save the tall man from himself, a bit scared. But she knew she couldn't let fear rule her, so she instead took a deep breath and gave him her most winning smile. "Even if you don't _need_ help, working with someone else is always good. Team work helps things get done faster and makes it more fun, too!"

The sentiment was sickening, and she was clearly not getting the message. With his hand like this, bodily dragging her out of his lair would be even more difficult- and if he hurt a hair on that girl's hair the local hero might decide that pacifism isn't _always_ the answer. Hollow threats, however, might be acceptable.

Sneering, he took a few steps and grabbed a metallic bat from behind his work bench and tapped it against his foot before narrowing his eyes and grinning at her. "Tell you what- you can stay here if you want. But if you do we'll find out just how much dancing you can do with those pretty little legs of yours in splinters."

Without a word, Stephanie started backing up towards the exit. She stumbled over her feet and decided to turn around and just run for it. Part of her was sure that Robbie was a nice guy who wouldn't hurt her, so she didn't run for dear life, but the glint in his eye was enough for her to get out of there. The cackling that followed her up the tube did inspire her to speed up a bit, though.

Robbie grinned to himself, proud. That should keep the little ones away from him for a few days, if nothing else. He'd long since installed a way to lock the entrance to his lair without having to climb all the way up, and he did so now. He didn't need an elf burning with righteous fury tearing up his lab. There just wasn't enough time to fix that sort of mess right now.

---

About a week later, it was finally time for the stitches to come out. Removing them was a bit painful, but he was glad to be able to start using his hand again. He had managed to make good progress on the machine he was building and figured he needed a break to help get his hand back to functioning.

After getting dressed in his usual, and now blood-free, outfit, he decided he might as well see if the sun was still the ladder was a bit unpleasant with his hand as it was, but the bright sun and fresh air was worth it. Or, it was supposedly worth it. It was just too windy to be comfortable and bright enough that it hurt his eyes. Robbie grumbled to himself. If he hadn't started noticing signs of cabin fever, he would head right back down and stay there.

Instead, he walked over to the town center and sat back on a bench there, stretching his left arm out over the back and examining the mostly-scar wound on his hand. Gingerly he tested how far he could stretch his thumb, and winced when it objected. It would take some time before he got full dexterity again, how aggravating.

A few moments later something blocked out the sun. He sincerely wished he could be surprised to look up and see Sportacus standing there with his eyes blaring. The elf was still calm and in control, as always, but the fury in his gaze was unmistakeable. So he was right, the brat ran crying to the hero about what the big bad villain threatened to do.

"You're in my light," he said coolly, annoyed. He wouldn't be in this situation if the damn brat had minded her own business or left when he asked her. It would take a lot more than an angry pacifist to make him apologize for that.

The elf's mustache twitched and he leaned down, placing his hands on either side of the villain's shoulders, "We both know I let you get away with a lot- but since you seem unclear on this _one_ unbreakable rule, I think I need to make it clear that if you _ever_ did anything to purposefully hurt one of the children or put them in danger, it will _not_ end well for you."

Robbie took a deep breath before answering, not accustomed to having anyone this close to his face. He towered over everyone normally, and had since his early teens. The elf was a bit more threatening at eye level. "Let me guess, Pinky ran crying to you that I threatened to hurt you and left out the bit where I tried about 10 times to _politely_ get her to leave?" he asked with a smirk. The villain's eyebrow twitched but he stayed where he was. "Do you mind backing off? You reek of apples, and I'm still feeling a bit sick from having to take the stitches out."

"I can't ignore you threatening someone," Sportacus said quietly, intently studying the villain's face. "That's one of the side-effects of being a _villain,_" he spat the word out, "that you might've missed. You can't pick up a bat and threaten to break someone's legs without being taken seriously."

"Even if it's a plastic bat? If I tried hurting anyone with it- I _might_ bruise them slightly. Even if _you _were using it it couldn't do any damage," he replied vaguely. "I only needed to get her out of my house. I tried to be nice to her, and she refused to leave. I don't hurt people, Sportacreep. I act out of self interest- what good would it do me to beat up a little girl?"

This seemed to be enough for the elf, who pushed himself up and shook his head. "That better be the truth," he muttered. "You _know_ that if you ever seriously screw up no one will go easy on you."

Robbie shrugged, standing up. He had more than enough sunshine for one day. "Just tell the runts to stay the hell away from me and this won't happen. That's all I ever wanted- to be left alone."

Sportacus turned, about to say something but thought better of it.

* * *

A/N: I got the old-school Latibær, so I got to see an Icelandic Robbie Rotten being much more villainish than the newer version is. If he got a bit eviler this chapter, that's why.

Áfram Latibær made me feel better about all the dialogue with Sportacus, too, because it reminded me that he can be walking and jumping and such back and forth while having a conversation. Old-school Lazytown is freaking _weird_ when you don't speak Icelandic, though.


	11. Chapter 11

Not two seconds after thinking better of saying anything, he remembered something that needed to be addressed. "You didn't have to stitch yourself up, you know that if anyone- even you- is in trouble I'll be there."

The villain snorted, "Yeah, I'm sure you rush over to help me every time that trinket flashes that I need it. It took you at least 10 minutes to get there- and we both know you couldn't stitch it up yourself and it'd take even longer to get me to someone who could."

"It didn't take me two minutes," Sportacus insisted, crossing his arms over his chest. "And it wouldn't have taken that long but I had to make sure you weren't anywhere else."

The man's eyebrow raised slightly. "Are you certain about that? From the time your crystal went off it was only 2 minutes?" The hero nodded defiantly, frowning at the insult to his hero abilities. Robbie 'hmm'd to himself and tapped his chin curiously. "It took me longer than that to get started on the stitches, I know it took me that long just to thread the damn needle…" the elf shivered at that mental image, "So what actually caused it to go off?"

"What?" Sportacus asked uncertainly, not really following. Was his crystal malfunctioning? The tall man didn't seem to hear the question, but continued muttering to himself for a moment before leaning down so that his face was an inch from the chest plate. The elf fidgeted slightly, not at all comfortable with the sudden invasion of his personal space. "Robbie, what are you doing?"

Robbie looked up at this, and the hero could hardly recognize him. His grey eyes were bright and curious, an effect which lit up his entire face and made him look years younger. "Haven't you ever wondered what your crystal actually responds to? And don't say trouble- that's too vague. It might start going off whenever a kid goes to detention or gets grounded. It has to respond to _something_, right?" he returned his gaze to the chest plate that hid the crystal. "Damn I wish I could study this."

"Why can't you?"

The villain chuckled, standing up straight at this. "You just made it clear I can't hurt anyone on purpose- even if it is for science and the greater good. Hopefully I can come up with enough information from memory to get a decent idea."

"Why do you even care? I thought you wanted to be left alone- not helping me," Sportacus asked weakly, placing a protective hand over his crystal in case Robbie decided to grab it right off of him. It seemed possible.

This was replied to with an eyeroll, "This has nothing to do with you- I want to know what makes it tick for my own knowledge," he continued staring at the chest plate as if he could magically see through both the elf's hand and the metal covering and into the secret that was in the heart of it's magic. "Haven't you ever seen something and just had to know how it works?"

"Can't say I have, no," the elf replied nervously. As much as he wanted to be happy to see the man so interested in something _good_, this was not something he trusted. The self-assigned villain only cared about things that benefited him, if he was interested in the crystal it was for a reason. That reason might be a very bad thing.

Robbie tutted slightly at that, shaking his head. "And you condemn _my_ life style," he muttered to himself. The elf caught it, but said nothing, not really sure how to respond. "Ugh, you don't even know how to make one for me to play with and all the books that might be useful are in gibberish—"

"Gibberish?" Sportacus asked curiously.

The villain shrugged, "I'm sure it isn't to someone- but I don't know what language it is so I can't even ask if I know anyone who speaks it."

"Can I see them? It might be in a language I know, or at least recognize."

"Eh?" Robbie asked, a bit surprised by that. Of course, considering his accent and where he was from he'd probably know at least one other language, and for all he knew he'd been the 'local hero' in a few countries in the past. But he never expected the elf to be of _any_ use in anything academic. "Yeah, sure, I'll just have to find it again, I think it got lost in the shuffle." He held up his hand to indicate exactly which shuffle he was referring to.

Sportacus wrinkled his nose at the sight of the scar. "Do you know how long it'd take you to find it?"

"No idea, maybe 5 minutes- maybe 5 days. It's hard to tell, the mess that's down there."

"How about I just wait, and then you send me a letter telling me you have it," the elf suggested, not wanting to drop in every few days to find out. Although it would help him make sure Robbie _wasn't_ up to anything bad. "I'd offer to help, but I know you don't want me touching anything of yours."

"No, I really don't," he agreed, glad to hear that this message had made it's way into the elf's brain. That would be convenient. "But I really don't feel like using that stupid mailing tube of yours. You can always just drop by whenever you feel like it- it seems to be working so far."

"I didn't think you wanted me doing that," Sportacus said uncertainly.

Robbie raised an eyebrow, "I didn't think you actually cared whether I wanted you around or not."

The elf smiled gently at this, shaking his head. "I want to be your friend, Robbie. Part of that is respecting what the other person wants. And when you threw me out a few days ago- you made it clear that you didn't want me around any more than I absolutely had to."

"I don't do well with losing function of my strong hand and having to spend most of a few days around an over-eager health nut," he muttered, "As long as you don't decide to live with me I think we'll be fine."

"As tempting as that might be, I can't stand being underground for any amount of time," the elf shook his head. So that was just Robbie throwing a tantrum because things weren't going his way. For someone so tall, the man certainly had a lot of growing up to do. It would also be difficult to tell when Robbie was being serious and when he was just being his disobliging self, which didn't make things any easier. It really would be easier to just avoid him after this whole thing was over. He'd certainly have to make sure the kids did just in case it turned out the villain was capable of following up on his threats.

"I guess I'll just have to give you a few days and then come down and check if you've had any luck finding it," Sportacus said after he remembered what they had been talking about before. The villain just shrugged his ambivalence. Rather than wait for a more decent response that wasn't coming, the hero lept off with his signature move and off to do hero-ish things.

The villain simply stared after him for a moment before lazily making his way back to his home. Just watching that elf got exhausting sometimes.

---

Continuing to use the 'knock if it's locked, just go in if it isn't' methodology, Sportacus was soon in the main room of the villain's 'lair'. It was a few days after their last conversation and in the late evening. The kids had all gone home for supper and wouldn't be out again, and he hoped that it was long enough that Robbie might have had a chance to find what he was looking for. Sportacus certainly had. He finally remembered about the book Robbie had left for him— that he thought Robbie had left for him—and was now going to return it.

He was surprised to find the place empty, and wondered if he should have made sure Robbie wasn't out and about. No one had seen any sign of him in the past few days, though, so that seemed unlikely. Sounds coming from a room down a hallway he didn't even realize was there verified this.

"Robbie?" he called down to announce his presence. This was met by a loud _thunk_ and a bit of cursing. The hero instantly rushed down to the room to make sure nothing serious had happened.

The room seemed to be nothing but storage. Piles of boxes were stacked precariously in front of shelves that held a disorderly mess with a layer of dust on half of it. Amidst the mess, Robbie Rotten was sitting next to a cluttered desk with his hand massaging the back of his head.

"Are you alright?" the elf asked, kneeling down next to the tall man to get a closer look.

The villain leaned away automatically, not used to having people so close. "Yeah- you just took me by surprise," he muttered, not caring to admit what had happened. He'd dropped something under the desk and was grabbing it when the hero came in. Hearing his voice called, he'd automatically sat up and smacked his head against the desk. "I'll be fine." And he would.

"I'm sorry about that."

"It happens," was the muttered reply. Robbie continued massaging his head for a few minutes before remembering why the elf was there. "I haven't been able to find it yet."

"So you were looking for it under the desk?" he asked with a slight chuckle, before remembering that the man had just smacked his head, and why he'd smacked it in the first place. The chuckle and smile fell from his fac and he awkwardly looked at the book in his hands. "You sent me this, right?"

The tall man looked over for a moment before nodding. "Mhm. Thanks for getting it back to me, though, I figured you'd be able to tell who sent it."

Sportacus stared for a moment, surprised. He'd fully expected the villain to snort and insist he'd never do something helpful or make a cheap shot. He smiled slightly and handed it over to the villain. "I would have sooner, but I kind of forgot about it in the…" what was that word Robbie had used for it before? "_shuffle. _So I had to find it again."

The tall man sighed at that. He had to _find_ the book? That settled it, he was never letting the elf near anything important. "You didn't have to. I figured I'd seen the last of it when I left it on the mayor's desk."

"Then why did you write asking for it back?" the elf asked, cocking his head to the side.

"Seemed like the thing to do," he replied vaguely. Mostly he was curious about whether or not he would get it back, and that seemed like the best way to hint at who had sent it without outright stating it. He really didn't want to do that, last thing he needed was for anyone to get it into their heads he was turning good. He'd never get any peace like that.

Robbie finally took the book back, and held it in both hands as he turned it over a few times to assess if there were any damage. There weren't, or nothing appreciable.

"Why did you leave it in the mayor's office?" the elf asked quietly, hoping he would want to hear the response. He could think of a few less-than-lovely scenarios and he'd probably have to tell the mayor about.

The villain shrugged, "I was going to just leave it outside- but that idiot left the door open. It wasn't even latched."

The local hero groaned when he heard this, that was something the mayor would do. He made a mental note to talk to the mayor about that. Lazytown didn't exactly have a high crime rate, but it was still a good idea to lock the door to the town hall when he closed up for the day. There were a lot of important files saved there, and someone less scrupulous could have gone in and done serious damage.

"Where did you get that book, anyways? Did you find it while cleaning as well?" Sportacus asked, eyeing the look that Robbie was still holding protectively.

"Yeah, pretty much," he replied, remembering that it was in his hand. He placed it on the desk and stood up, stretching slightly as he did. "The place needed to be cleaned, I guess it was just a lucky coincidence."

That wasn't entirely true, he started cleaning things out to try and find books on the subject. His grandmother had been highly interested in magic and he had more books than he cared to admit on the subject stashed away in storage. Really, he had more books than most libraries. His family had always put importance on intelligence, and ended up amassing a large collection of books on just about every subject that no one could bare to throw out.

"Do you know where the other books might be?" the elf asked, standing up as well and looking around the room. He didn't want to snoop, but he couldn't help but be curious about everything that was in here. Robbie Rotten, who seemed so focused on mechanics, was the last person he'd have expected to have anything involving magic. He couldn't help but wonder what other secrets were hidden in here.

The villain twitched slightly, watching the sports elf looking around. Thankfully the elf seemed to remember that nothing in Robbie's lair was to be touched, but it still made him nervous.

The man scratched his chin slightly as he considered what to do. His little project was reaching the point where most people could recognize it as something bad, and if Sportacus saw it he would probably have more than a few things to say about it and the villain would never get a moments peace again. He had two options- either find it now or get rid of the elf for a few days. "I'm not sure, it's deeper than I'd thought… I may need your help on this after all."

Sportacus's eyes widened at that for a moment, then he raised an eyebrow at the villain. "Didn't you threaten me with bodily harm if I ever touched _anything_ of yours?"

"—Without permission," he pointed out, trying to ignore just how little he wanted to be doing this. Something in this room would be broken by the end of the day if that elf helped him. And it would probably be something valuable and ireplaceable. "But, eh, Pinky keeps going on about how things are easier when you work _together_," he groaned the word, "And this is a bit important, so why not?"

He was starting to rethink his decision to stop getting rid of Sportacus.

* * *

A/N: Getting back to plot now. Sorry for the delay. Not sure if this is OOC for Robbie, but he strikes me as a scientist- and they seem to enjoy a good puzzle. Or maybe I just read too much XKCD (webcomic about science/math/etc)


	12. Chapter 12

It surprised Robbie how nimble the elf was. He had been doing his usual over the top, extravagant flipping in their quest for the books, but he managed to barely touch anything that he didn't have to, and certainly wasn't banging into anything as Robbie had initially feared. In hind-sight, the villain supposed he had mistakenly assumed that Sportacus's child-like nature and over-exuberance meant that he would be as clumsy as a child, but that really wasn't deserved.

Despite his best efforts to remain grumpy and unimpressed, an unwanted bit of jealousy stirred in him at just what the blasted blue elf was capable of. Not that he wanted to go around flipping like some crack-addled squirrel, but his muscles were already aching while the elf was tireless as always. It was hard not to be a bit envious.

The search ended up taking only about half an hour before they found the book Robbie had misplaced. The villain handed it somewhat begrudgingly to the elf, who either didn't care or didn't notice the reborn resentment. He most likely didn't notice, as Sportacus's eyes widened then furrowed the moment he saw the cover.

"Where did you get this?" he asked quietly, opening it and flipping through the pages to verify it was what he thought it was.

Robbie shrugged, "It's been in my family for at least 2 generations- how should I know?"

Sportacus shook his head, "You shouldn't have this. It's an elfin book, a very old one. Most copies have either fallen apart with age or are kept under close watch. A human shouldn't have been able to get this."

"It's written in Elvish, then?" he asked, completely ignoring the real issue. As a villain, the thought of one of his relatives stealing didn't really bother him. As a genius, the thought of not knowing something _did_. If the book was written in another species' language, he at least had justification.

"No," the elf said flatly, feeling a bit annoyed at how nonchalant Robbie was about this. He had been hoping that the self-proclaimed villain had a few more morals than this. "It's in Icelandic- there isn't an Elvish language. Do you have any idea how your ancestors could have gotten this?"

"Who knows. It's amazing what money can buy you- all it'd take is finding an elf with less scruples to grab it. Does it really matter? You've got it now, you can remove it from the clutches of humanity. Not like it's done me any good," Robbie replied airily. Acquiring things that he had no right owning was hardly something new to him or his family. While they weren't the wealthiest people, they were usually well-off and had a knack for figuring out which palms to grease to get what they wanted. 'You aren't supposed to have this' wasn't something that had mattered to his family in ages, possibly ever.

"An elf wouldn't do that!" Sportacus snapped, although doubt tugged at him. Elves generally were better than that. They held themselves to higher standards and always looked out for each other to make sure no one got desperate enough to resort to breaking the law to survive. But that didn't mean there weren't a few bad eggs throughout history.

The villain smirked, "Of course not. Forget I mentioned it."

Somehow that only made doubt tug at the elf even more. Robbie was right, though, it _didn't_ matter. Whoever had taken it was probably long-dead, and Robbie had just more or less said that Sportacus could keep the book so he didn't have to worry about it falling into the wrong hands. What mattered now was that this book would probably have the answers he needed and was more valuable than the villain could know. And even if the villain did know, he couldn't read it to find out any information to use against the local hero.

The above average hero licked his lips nervously and flipped through to the right section. 3 years of only using Icelandic for the occasional letter had left him slightly rusty, but he re-acclimated quickly. He quietly murmured the words as he continued reading the relevant pages, hoping to find something useful.

The sports elf had automatically gotten himself into a position that he could still exercise while reading. This wasn't a particularly easy feat, as he still had to hold the book and couldn't exactly start running, so he'd ended up essentially doing one armed push-ups that paused only when he had to turn the page.

Robbie watched this for a few moments, a bit disconcerted at just how incapable Sportacus was of actually staying still for longer than 2 minutes. Having to exercise even while reading? It just seemed impossible. How did the elf get through school? Forget sugar, _this_ was the elf's greatest weakness. Too bad it wasn't an exploitable one. Unless... Robbie stopped himself, he wasn't thwarting the hero right now. If he did, he'd never know how the crystal worked. He'd just file the thought away for later use.

It was also somewhat surprising to hear what was undoubtedly his native tongue flowing so easily from the elf's lips. His English was fine, but it often seemed like he was still at the lower levels of fluency and it could be a bit challenging at times.

This only lasted for a few moments before it got tiring, though, and he wondered what to do with himself now. He could continue working on his current project, but with the local hero around that was a bit of a risk. Or he could… Now that he thought about it, there really wasn't much to do in is lair beyond invent, eat, and sleep. All of which were out. How annoying.

The villain looked over his creation for a few minutes. It wasn't far enough to cause problems, and he could stop before anything too recognizable formed. That seemed like a safe enough compromise.

---

It wasn't very long before the elf came out with the book in tow. He was still thinking heavily over what he'd read and trying to formulate a plan of some sort. It seemed that he was right that trying to alter his crystal now that it was finished would end in disaster, but it seemed like he could try to create another one that was less sensitive. Seeing as it had taken 3 elves who spent their lives studying magic to do this in the first place, this was a bit of an undertaking for a sports elf. But he could still try.

"What are you making?" the elf asked after a few minutes of watching Robbie work. He assumed (hoped) that the 'villain' wouldn't work on anything bad with him around, so he was curious what kind of non-evil things he could build.

Robbie jumped slightly when he heard this, he hadn't heard the elf approach and it caught him by surprise. He didn't damage anything, though, so recovered quickly. He'd already been thinking about how he would answer that question, so didn't need any time to come up with a lie, "Sometimes I take orders from people who need my inventions. This is a special one- took a bit of creativity- it's a bit complicated to explain what it does, but it should save the person who ordered it a lot of time."

Sportacus raised an eyebrow. It seemed like Robbie was evading the question, but saving time didn't seem too dangerous. He noticed a container sitting on the bench. "What's 'Wonderflonium'?" he asked, feeling a bit more at ease. That wasn't a particularly threatening chemical name and didn't raise any flags.

"It's just a chemical that's pretty useful in some inventions. You can use it for a lot of things, too, so it's handy to have around," the villain replied cheerfully, remaining vague, "It's still a chemical, though, so you have to be careful with it when it's undiluted." The elf looked like he was about to ask another question and Robbie decided that this was enough curiosity out of him for one day, "Did you find anything useful in the book?"

"Ah, já, I did!" Sportacus replied cheerfully, remembering what he had come in to do "I need to ask you a favor though," he added, biting his lip. He didn't really like having to do this, the idea of being 'indebted' to the self-proclaimed villain was an unpleasant one, but he seemed the best man for the job.

"What?" Robbie asked suspiciously.

The elf managed a bright smile to cover up his concerns, "Remember the fake crystal you made that day I lost mine?" the man nodded, smirking slightly. "I need you to make another one- but to some specific standards so that I can try to apply a spell to it."

"If you succeed, can I keep your old one?" Robbie asked casually. Sportacus hesitated, touching the crystal on his chest for a moment before nodding. If he succeeded, he wouldn't _need_ the old crystal. And with all the protection spells on it, Robbie probably couldn't destroy it even if he needed it later.

"Alright, what do you need?" the villain asked, clapping his hands together and wringing them. That did nothing to put the sports elf at ease about this whole situation.

"Um, they have it on this page- the translation might be a bit awkward," he said, opening the book to where his finger had held a page. He looked over it for a moment before looking up, about to ask if Robbie had a piece of paper he could write it down on. The tall man was holding a large spiral-bound notebook and an even larger orange fuzzie pen that seemed to be covered in the same material as his chair. Sportacus suppressed a laugh at the sight before reading the list out loud.

---

Robbie Rotten had a new-found respect for translators. Even with a native speaker of each language and someone who was fluent in the other, it had taken a bit of effort from both of them to properly work out what the book was asking for in a way Robbie could understand. But that was well behind both of them now.

The elf had left with promises not to come back until the man let him know that the new crystal was done, leaving Robbie to finish his invention. Which he did in a few short days and with mild moral dilemmas about it. That would probably be the last order he accepted like that.

After a bit of celebratory cake, Robbie finally got to work on the crystal. He had most of what he needed lying around, and since he'd already made a fake crystal it wasn't too hard- he only had to switch the parts he had used in the first place with what he really needed to do. The only annoying thing was the "cleansing" ritual he'd had to do with the glass before using it.

Robbie was not a big fan of magic in the first place. He was a man of science, of things that you could prove and observe and understand. Magic was not one of these things. It didn't make sense. There was no scientific explanation. And as a result, he had a hard time thinking that having to "cleanse the magical energies" from the glass so that it was "an open vessel" was a load of bollocks.

But magic also scared him a bit. He knew how a gun worked, he knew what happened when a bullet hit you. He knew the science behind disease and most other things that could hurt you. Magic could do whatever it damn well pleased, though, and that frightened him, so he was far more careful with the "cleansing" than he felt he should have been.

For all he knew, not following the directions to the letter would end with his house destroyed. And if that happened, the local hero would take it upon himself to force Robbie to stay in that damned blimp until he could find permanent lodgings. And all of his wonderful inventions would be destroyed.

Luckily the cleansing was fairly simple. It involved things like leaving it in the sun for a few days, cleaning it with salt water and drying it with a white towel. Simple enough, and he was able to do it while finishing his earlier project so it was done with and he didn't have to wait. Completely pointless, in his opinion, but simple. At least he didn't have to chant any incantations. That'd just make him feel silly.

After a few minutes in his Inventor Microwave, the crystal was ready. It was definitely perfect, if he did say so himself. Much better than the other one he had made when that kleptomanic brat wouldn't give him the _real_ crystal. Not even for all those coins and comics. They were _good _comics, too. Not like the junk they were producing these days…

Robbie took the crystal out of the microwave and did a gleeful little jig. It was done. Soon the elf would have this crystal sorted and he'd no longer have his problem and Robbie would have something to study for the first time in ages. He wasn't quite sure how to do it without the elf getting on his case, though. Tripping the brats and recording what did and didn't set it off was right out. Shame, really, a nice leg cast really _would _quiet those noisy brats down for a while… But he'd seen the elf's anger once and didn't feel like seeing it again, so he'd have to be creative. His lips turned upwards at the thought.

* * *

***No insult to Magnús's English, it's excellent, even in interviews when he doesn't have a script. And seeing as I only speak one language, I certainly can't talk about anyone else. But his Icelandic _does_ sound way more natural. As for Sporty being from there- I've seen a lot of people think that all the Sportacuses (sportaci? sportacodes?) came from Iceland, since it's implied 9 was (he's from "a country north of the sea").

And I don't know how hard it is to translate for someone who's actually fluent in both languages- but it seems like it takes some effort. I'm native to English and I've still had a lot of "I know what this means but I don't know how to put it" when I try to translate things to English, so I'm sure non-native speakers do it, too.

I'm still getting my knowledge regarding magic from a google search on Wicca- no offense intended to anyone. I just don't know much about magic. Or magick.


	13. Chapter 13

Unfortunately, it would take a lot longer than Robbie had hoped to finish the spell on the crystal. Longer still because Sportacus was unfamiliar with the magic and spent most of his day with the children anyways. The villain was not pleased to hear this and ended up deciding to lock himself in his lair and sulk until the elf was done. Not that he'd tell anyone this is what he was doing, he just did it.

No one particularly cared, though. It was getting later into fall now, the kids were too busy making leaf piles to jump in or happily daydreaming about winter vacation to notice that the town villain wasn't ruining their fun any more. Sportacus enjoyed the crisp fall air almost as much as the kids. There was something strangely energizing about it, and everyone was eager to take in as many games as possible before the snow made it too hazardous to play most of them, which the elf was happy about.

Even that passed soon enough, and it wasn't long before Lazytown was coated with a nice layer of snow. One nice thing about Lazytown is that the snow always came in early December. There was no dreaming of white christmases- they were a reality and had been for as long as anyone could remember. But Christmas had come and gone, and it was now the last day of winter vacation.

No one really thought twice about this any more. Pixel and Stephanie were 10 by now, and the other children weren't far behind, they were definitely old enough to look after themselves. And even if they weren't, with the local hero quick to respond to trouble whenever there was any, the parents (and uncle) of Lazytown had no problem letting their kids out.

So it really was no surprise to anyone that the kids, all bundled up in their winter warmest, were all outside playing together. Well, it was a bit of a surprise that Pixel was there, but he said that even he wanted to enjoy the last day of winter vacation the proper way and everyone was happy to have him along.

A spirited snowball fight had ended up turning into a somewhat slippery game of tag. Because he was the least used to exercising, Pixel had spent more time than anyone being 'it' at first, until the other kids decide that wasn't very fun and started going a bit easy on the computer geek. If he noticed, he didn't say anything. If anything, he was grateful to be able to be on the same level as his friends for once, even if it was only because they were humoring him.

After an hour or so of that, Stephanie called a breathless time out that the other kids were all happy to agree to. They'd made their way over to the lake, which now had a nice coating of ice on it. The scene was very beautiful and serene, pristine white snow (except for where they had just run into it) and a sparkling, icy lake. Not that the younger kids appreciated such things.

"We should head in for hot chocolate soon!" Stephanie announced once she got her breath back.

"Definitely!" Trixie agreed with a chuckle. "Then we can go back out and play some more!"

"But only _mine_ can have marshmallows in it!" Stingy warned. This earned lots of chuckling and eye rolling from the others. At least he wasn't saying that the hot chocolate was his.

"Can we go _ice skating_?" Ziggy asked hopefully, looking like he was going to run onto the ice that second.

"No way!" Trixie answered, to the surprise of everyone. "We'd need someone to make sure it was thick enough, and none of us know how to do that."

Stephanie resisted complimenting Trixie's foresight about that. The prankster didn't seem to appreciate having people point out when she said something smart and sensible. "That's a good point," she said brightly instead, Trixie grinned proudly, "Besides, there are plenty of other things we can do in the snow!"

"I guess…" Ziggy agreed sadly. He had really been looking forward to ice skating. There wasn't a proper rink in any of the nearby towns, and Stephanie had said it was a lot of fun, but the lake never seemed to be frozen enough to try it.

Pixel smiled at Ziggy, "We can always go sledding. The hill should be perfect for that," he suggested, hoping that would help cheer up the younger boy.

"Sledding!" Ziggy announced, throwing his arms in the air as he did. The lollipop he always held in his hand went flying with that movement. He looked after it with a downcast "Whoops" as Stingy shouted "_My_ lollipop!". He really needed to be more careful.

The sweet slid to a halt in the middle of the lake. Stephanie opened her mouth to scold the young boy's carelessness when he bolted out after the lollipop shouting "Sportacandy to the rescue!"

"Ziggy!" Stephanie screeched as the 4 children stared after him in terror, each holding their breath as they waited for the worst to happen. Pixel set up his wrist computer to call the paramedics just in case.

"Ah-ha!" Ziggy announced happily, picking up the lollipop. The older children sighed happily and Trixie chuckled, shaking her head.

"Thank you, Ziggy," Stingy announced as he started walking across the ice to the young boy "For saving _my_ lolli—"

His words were cut short by a cracking sound. Thinking that the ice would have frozen uniformly, he didn't bother to take the precaution of taking the same route Ziggy had. Before anyone could react, the ice broke beneath him, and the icy water swallowed up the terrified child.

The only person who did anything was Pixel, who pressed the button to call the emergency operator and explain where they were and what happened. Stephanie moved to run after the boy, but Trixie held her back, searching her mind for what to tell Ziggy. The young boy was panicking, tears falling down his face while he started screaming both for help and after his best friend. The cracks hadn't reached him, but he knew that the wrong move could send him to the same fate. At least he hadn't been sent running, but being frozen to the spot might not be a step up.

"What happened?" Sportacus asked, arriving there in less than a minute, the scene was almost too much to take in- he couldn't tell _who_ was in trouble.

"Stingy!" Stephanie shrieked, pointing at the hole in the ice, too panicked to form a full sentence. That was all the hero needed, though. This was something he'd never faced before, and his mind only came up with one plan.

"Sportacus, wait!" Pixel had always been the most level-headed of the kids, and this apparently applied to emergency situations as well. In the panic he had produced a long extension cord from one of his pockets. It was 100 ft long, just in case he ever needed to plug in one of his devices and go somewhere else. He tossed it, still bundled, to the hero who caught it and nodded.

Sportacus quickly tied it around a nearby tree, then to his belt, and dove in after the boy. It wasn't long until he was out, Clutching the young boy. With a bit of effort he managed to flip to the shore, grateful that he hadn't seriously needed to use the makeshift rope but glad to have it all the same.

Being an elf came in handy some times. He was freezing, but in no real danger. The same could not be said for Stingy. The boy had only been in the water for 2 minutes or less but was already showing signs of hypothermia, and had probably breathed in a bit of the water, which he was now coughing up.

Stephanie ran over to the two and hovered worriedly as Pixel anxiously searched his computer for advice and Sportacus tried to help the still coughing boy.

"Ziggy!" Trixie finally shouted to the panicking 8 year old. Everyone else had forgotten him in the chaos, but his nervous squeal caught her attention. The boy looked up, finally calming down. "Can you see your footprints on the ice?" the boy nodded, "_Very carefully_ walk the same way you came!" Ziggy looked like he was about to argue with her, but she just glared at him threateningly. Trixie was not someone you wanted angry. With a whimper, the boy slowly made his way to shore, all the while being coached by the girl.

---

The paramedics had gotten there before Ziggy had even made his way back, although this was as much a testament to how slowly he was going to how quickly they arrived. After they had grabbed Stingy and started working to raise his body temperature, one even paused to help make sure that Ziggy made his way back safely- hoping to avoid another disaster.

They were off soon enough, though. Leaving the other children to numbly stand around for a few moments before looking hopefully up to Sportacus for guidance. The elf lipped his lips, trying to avoid shivering. This wasn't the time for weakness, he needed to be strong for them now more than he usually did.

"Everyone- go home," he said quietly, "Get something warm to eat and drink. The doctors will be able to take care of Stingy. I'll go tell his parents what happened, and you'll be able to see him soon enough," he finished, managing a reassuring smile.

The mention of Stingy's parents didn't put any of them at ease, though, if anything it made things worse. There was a reason Stingy was so selfish, his parents had spoiled him rotten. In place of proper parenting, they had showered him with things and used their considerable wealth to punish anyone who tried to discipline the child. Most of the children were too young to really know what they could do, but they all knew that someone was going to get blamed for it, and the Niskis were not known to show mercy.

"Maybe you should have uncle do that," Stephanie suggested nervously. He was the only person they even pretended to respect, and only because of his political "power".

Sportacus nodded uncertainly. He felt it was his responsibility, but he also desperately wanted to get back to his warm air ship and change into something dry. "Alright, Stephanie, if you think that's best I'll tell the mayor first nad see what he wants to do. Do you know where he is?"

"He should be in his office still," Stephanie said after asking Pixel for the time. The other children had run off home, but he had stayed to see if he could comfort Stephanie after all this. "I'll go with you- I can tell him what happened." Pixel sighed at hearing this before trudging home himself.

---

The mayor was surprised to hear what had happened, to say the least. Nothing like this had happened in Lazytown in his entire life. The only problems that happened in all of its history were as a result of someone trying to make trouble. And Robbie Rotten hadn't been involved at all! The mayor hadn't entirely taken the concerns over safety seriously, why should he? The worst that had ever happened in Lazytown was him falling off a ladder or Robbie coming up with some hair-brained scheme that was ultimately foiled. To have this kind of a disaster in Lazytown? For one of the children to end up in the hospital like this… It was unthinkable.

"You did the right thing by telling my this," he assured his niece and the hero as he sat back in his chair, his brain still trying to process the information. "Stingy's father is an old friend of mine, and he really should hear this sort of news from me," Milford wasn't looking forward to the conversation, though. In reality- no one was right to give this news. But at least he had no involvement whatsoever, Mr Niski would have a hard time coming up with a way to blame him.

With a heavy sigh the mayor looked over the two standing before him. Now that the cold was no longer biting at her cheeks and flushing them, the girl was as white as a sheet. It was times like these he wished that Stephanie had been able to stay with her parents rather than coming to Lazytown. His sister, her mother, would have known how to deal with this. And Sportacus, well, he was shocked the man was doing so well after diving into ice water like that. He supposed there was something to this hero business after all.

"You two had better head ho—" the mayor paused. He couldn't send Stephanie home alone in that condition, and he couldn't ask the hero to stay out in those soaked clothes any longer than necessary. Quickly his mind scanned over her friends. "Stephanie, can you stay at Pixel's house for awhile?" he asked her, the girl looked at him puzzled. "My dear, this was a very difficult thing for you to go through, I think being around a friend will help you."

"That's a good idea, uncle," she agreed. All the other kids had someone to see them when they got home, a parent who could warm up some hot chocolate and talk to them. Her uncle had to go see Stingy's dad, and she supposed she couldn't ask Sportacus to stay around just for her. Not when some of his outfit was still coated in ice.

"Are you sure you'll be alright with that, Stephanie?" Sportacus asked, looking over the young girl. She nodded, but he still made up his mind to walk her there and then go down and check on her as soon as he was done changing into something dry.

"I'm glad that's settled," the mayor said, trying to manage a cheerful smile. He failed. With another sigh, he ushered all of them out of his office and, with a quick reminder from Sportacus to lock the door, they had all gone their separate ways.

The mayor now regretted ever wishing he could be more useful.


	14. Chapter 14

News spread fast about this, even without Bessie's help (she was actually the last person to know, a fact which upset her more than the poor boy's condition). Most of the parents found out from their children, and Stingy's father made sure that _everyone_ knew about what had happened.

Stingy's parents were furious. Furious that they hadn't been informed immediately, furious that it happened in the first place, furious that their son had been hurt so badly, furious that they didn't know who was at fault. Their boy had almost died! The most precious thing in their lives! That wasn't acceptable.

At the doctor's instructions, they waited until the boy was well enough before they started asking him what happened to try and decide who to go after. In the meantime, they busied themselves with work as a distraction, although they made sure to bring him a present every day. His friends did the same, also making sure to bring his homework so he didn't fall behind.

After the doctor gave the okay, the parents immediately rushed into their boy's bedroom, arms loaded with gifts and all smiles. The boy was sitting on the floor playing with his piggy bank when they did, and immediately looked up when they came in. He tossed Piggy aside and ran to hug them, but they only handed him the presents.

"Hi!" Stingy said happily, half-heartedly opening the presents while looking up at his parents. "Do you want to play a game?" he asked eagerly.

His father chuckled at the idea. Stingy had gotten most of his features from his father, but he had his mother's brown hair and nose. "No, son, I'm afraid we can't play right now." The boy nodded, staring at the hood ornament he had gotten before reaching for the next box.

"My Little Prince," his mother cooed her nickname for her, "We were wondering why you ran onto the lake that day."

"Oh, yeah," the boy mumbled, delicately peeling the tape off of the wrapping paper. He placed the box down still half-wrapped. "Well, Trixie had told us it was dangerous, but then Ziggy accidentally threw a lollipop into the middle of the lake and ran to get it without falling in. So I ran after him because the lollipop was_ mine_ and I wanted it back—"

"Ziggy stole your lollipop?" his father asked. Stingy shrunk back, picking Piggy back up and stroking it affectionately.

"Well, no," Stingy admitted. "But you've always told me that I could have whatever I wanted- and I wanted that lollipop, so that makes it _mine_ right?" His father chuckled, shaking his head. That was his son all right.

"But still, you only ran onto the ice because this Ziggy child did first, right?" his mother asked patiently. Stingy nodded uncertainly. "We only want to know what happens so we can make sure it doesn't happen again, sweety. Someone could have gotten hurt even worse than you had!"

"Sportacus would have saved them, too," the boy pointed out defensively. He didn't know much about what his parents did, but he did know that the teachers who scolded him always got replaced- and he didn't want his best friend to be replaced! "Ziggy's just a little kid who didn't know any better. He was only trying to save _my_ lollipop."

His father frowned, "Didn't you say that Trixie told you not to go on the ice? Why would he take that risk just to save a lollipop?"

Stingy shrugged, he hadn't really questioned it before now. It was the same sort of thing Ziggy had always done. "He just does that. He wants to be just like Sportacus, so he pretends to be a superhero that saves candy."

The parents exchanged a glance. "Thank you, sweetheart," his mother said warmly, giving him a big hug. His father ruffled his hair affectionately while thanking him and reminding him that they just didn't want to see him hurt again, and they both said their goodbyes, reminded him he could go out and play the next day (provided he bundled up and was very careful), and left the room, closing the door after them. Stingy could hear their voices from behind the door, but not what they were saying.

The boy bit his lip uncertainly. He knew his parents only wanted the best for him, but sometimes they were a bit extreme. He didn't want anyone to get in trouble just because he ran onto the ice like that, it was bad enough having to stay inside for so long. If he couldn't play with one or all of his friends because of this? That would be awful! With a sigh, the boy turned his attention to the presents he had gotten, shoving the concerns back in favor of opening them.

---

Unbeknownst to Stingy's parents, the other parents in Lazytown had the same idea they did, and had spent the week alternating between fighting amongst themselves and coddling the children. No one was allowed to play outside now. The children had ended up spending most of their time together at Pixel's, who at least had video games, or sitting around scared about what was going to happen or how Stingy was. In all the commotion, no one had remembered to tell them that their friend was doing fine. All they knew was that one day they had stopped being allowed to visit him at the hospital and assumed the worst.

Finally the mayor called a town meeting for all the parents, and sports elf, to go to. Bessie had sent the word out, so she had accidentally invited Robbie as well while ringing up everyone, but no one expected him to show up. They also didn't particularly expect the president to show up, although she'd accidentally dialed his number as well. Someone needed to do something about her speed dial addiction.

"Everyone, please, calm down!" The mayor shouted helplessly, banging the gavel he happened to have on his desk. He had more people in the room than he ever had, and they were all at the point of shouting at each other.

"Oh, Milford, dear," Bessie told him, rolling her eyes, "Let a professional handle this!" With that she stood on the desk and shouted "QUIET!" A hush finally fell and everyone gazed expectantly at her. She got back off the desk before gracefully tucking a hair behind her ear, "The mayor has something he would like to say."

"Thank you, Ms. Busybody," he said cheerfully before turning to the angry mob. "Everyone, please, calm down! We all know that there is a serious problem on our hands. The most precious thing in Lazytown- our children- are at risk. But we can not solve this with anger!"

"Why didn't the kids know enough to stay off the ice in the first place?"

"They did, though," The mayor reminded them, nodding to Trixie's parents, "Trixie had warned them that it was unsafe!" Her parents smiled to themselves for a moment. They heard the story from an eager Ziggy when he came to give his "new hero" his lollipop, as their daughter was too embarrassed to tell them herself, but they were quite pleased with her just the same.

Sportacus finally stepped up at this, he had been laying low before, not really sure how to talk to the parents about this. "They're just kids," he reminded them, "They make mistakes sometimes, even when they know better. What matters is that they learn from them- and I'm sure they all will. All of the children are upset about this. We shouldn't blame the children for being children."

"He's right," a voice called out, everyone turned to see Mr. Niski standing in the back of the room. He and his wife had arrived late and stayed in the back until they were needed. The man walked over to the front of the room and nodded to the mayor and a grateful Sportacus before turning to face the other parents. "The problem isn't with our children! We need to blame the person who's really at fault!"

A confused murmur ran across the room, and Ms Busybody sat forward in her chair eagerly, her ears tuned to the words that were coming out of his mouth. There wasn't anyone she could tell about this, but she could still sense that this was going to be some juicy bit of gossip. Sportacus shifted uneasily, that wasn't his point at all. The point was that no one was at fault- it had just been an accident.

"The reason Ziggy did something so dangerous in the first place was because he was trying to emulate his hero," the man continued, the elf's heart sank. No one had mentioned that to him. "For all the good Sportacus has done- this is the first tragedy that has ever happened in our town! Even my father couldn't remember something so horrible happening in Lazytown! Encouraging our children to be healthy is a good thing, but is it worth the risk?"

A hush fell over the room as he finished talking, no one really sure what to say. Their kids seemed so much happier now that they were playing outside, and the doctors visits and dentist appointments had certainly gotten less embarrassing, but there had never been enough trouble to even _need a _local hero before.

"Mr. Niski," the mayor started nervously, "What are you saying?"

"I'm saying," he said firmly, "That Sportacus has become a negative influence! We can't risk our children getting hurt."

You could hear a pin drop in the room. No one wanted to be the first to say something. What was there to say? The children hardly needed to be reminded to brush their teeth or eat healthy and exercise any more, in that sense there wasn't much need for a hero, but everyone liked having Sportacus around. What if this had just been a freak accident that might have happened with or without him? And if he weren't there, it certainly would have ended well.

Outside the door, Robbie Rotten had started pacing. Ever since the accident, Robbie had been carefully monitoring the surface more than usual, wondering what (if anything) he should do. As much as he was grateful to have some peace and quiet from those brats, he couldn't help but feel like this was the wrong way to go about it.

Not only that- but who did Mr. Niski think he was? Getting rid of Sportacus without a Machine 6000 or disguise or crazy scheme? That wasn't how things worked! Not only that, but Sportacus was _his_ nemesis. That horribly spoiled excuse for a man couldn't get rid of _his_ nemesis. No, this had to be done right. But how to foil this? The local villain rung his hands together for a moment after an idea hit him. Yes. This would work.

Robbie walked in, clapping slowly as he did. The crowd turned to face him. "Yes!" he exclaimed, "This man is exactly right, I've been saying this ever since Sportadork showed up in Lazytown! It's why I've been working so hard to get rid of him the entire time!"

"Thank you for your opinion, Mr. Rotten," the mayor said quietly, raising an eyebrow.

The ice broken, someone else finally had the guts to pipe up with, "If Robbie thinks it's a good idea, it must be horrible!"

"We can't get rid of Sportacus, our children are better off being active in the long run- and without him Stingy might have died!"

The complaints went on. Robbie managed to look dutifully downfallen and insulted before stomping off angrily. He really deserved an Oscar.

"Fine!" Mr. Niski shouted, trying to be heard over the roar that had been reborn. "We don't have to get rid of Sportacus, but if emulating him puts the children in danger- that is something we need to address! Children always try to be like their heroes."

"What would you suggest?" Sportacus asked quietly, looking over the crowd helplessly, "I don't want any of the children being hurt on my account."

"Do we even need a local hero? This is the first serious problem anyone has faced for decades. What if he stays and stops saving people?" he asked the crowd, who nodded hesitantly. A few people started hushedly discussing how he could continue saving people without Mr Niski finding out, he had good intentions but he could be fairly unreasonable when people didn't do things his way, the plan spread like wildfire.

The elf wasn't able to hear it, though, and simply paled in silence. Not save people? Was that even possible. He licked his lip before standing up, "I've been working on a way to make my crystal less sensitive- so it only reacts when there's a serious emergency. If I can get that to happen, will that be an acceptable compromise for you, Mr. Niski?"

One look at the crowd told him that he wasn't going to win this one. Instead, the man smiled at the idea, "That sounds fine. _If_ you can manage to do that, you can go back to saving people, but if there are any more problems—"

"Of course," the elf agreed, "If my presence is a problem, I would leave happily."

"Now that that's settled," the mayor said quickly, "We still need to decide what to do about the children right now—Sportacus, you can leave for this—they aren't very happy about having to stay inside but obviously we need a way to make sure they're more careful…"

The hero made his way through the crowd as the mayor said that, and was a bit surprised to see lots of quiet signs of support from the various parents. It didn't really change the fact that this whole thing had happened because Ziggy wanted to be a hero, just like him, but it was nice to see.

"So, can I have your crystal since you're not using it?" Robbie asked all-too-hopefully after the hero left the room and closed the door. The elf gave him a strange look at that. His face wasn't used to showing negative emotions, and wasn't quite sure how to. After a moment he sighed, taking the crystal out of his chest plate before shoving it at the villain, who took it and did a gleeful little jig. With the hero on a short leash, he could get away with that much more!

His glee fell slightly as the hero left with none of his usual flipping or energy. He looked at the crystal in his hands and then at the room. For the first time in a long time he regretted his status as villain. Sportacus really didn't deserve this, and Robbie only wanted things to go back to being quiet. He didn't want anyone to really get hurt.

He rushed out of the town hall, resisting the urge to shout after the hero for fear of alerting anyone in the meeting and causing more problems.

"I've never seen you run so fast." The heroes voice stopped Robbie when he was halfway down the steps. He turned to see the elf leaning against the building, disturbingly still. He was tapping his foot, but that was exercise even Robbie could stand to do. Not only that, but the elf looked thoughtful.

"Why aren't you bouncing around?" he asked uncertainly. "Isn't it _painful_ for you to stay still?"

"Hurts more to think that it might be my fault," the hero replied dully, shrugging. "This only happened because Ziggy was trying to be like me. I never told the kids about this. I didn't warn them about a lot of dangers. What if they had all decided to go ice skating? I might not have been able to save all of them in time…"

"Right… Because 'don't walk on frozen water unless an adult says it's okay' fits in a song real well," Robbie drawled, rolling his eyes. "What are you, their dad? It's not your job to teach them this stuff- it's their parents'."

Sportacus glanced back at the town hall's door before chuckling sadly. "It's also their parents' job to teach them to exercise, eat right, and brush their teeth..."

The villain scratched his head. This town really did have some lousy parents... Even _his _were better than that. Although, really, his parents weren't bad, just had sketchier morals than most people. Okay, so, in that sense they were bad. But in terms of making sure he did his homework and got to bed on time, they were pretty great. "So what are you planning to do then?" he finally asked, eyeing the crystal that was still in his hand, "It's going to drive you crazy not knowing if people are in trouble or not."

"I'm going to have to make that new crystal," he said firmly. The elf kind of regretted putting it off for a few months, but it hadn't really been needed until then.

"Oh, right..." the tall man said, "You left that stupid book in my lair--"

"I did?!" Sportacus asked, clapping a hand to his forehead. Well, he definitely couldn't say an elf wouldn't let something like that fall into human hands now. At least this was a wrong he could set right. "I've got to go get it!" he set off, slightly less bouncier than usual.

"—so if you want to fix that crystal… Ugh… The door's locked," he muttered to himself, stalking after the elf as quickly as he could, which wasn't particularly fast at all.


	15. Chapter 15

When he finally got to the entrance of his lair, Sportacus was bouncing on the balls of his feet impatiently. Robbie was just glad that the elf hadn't tried to pry the top off, although he supposed that would be a bit too illegal for the above-average hero's tastes.

"Wait," he panted, out of breath again. "I may have to find the book first. And I don't want you wrecking my lair."

"Robbie, I have no intention of ruining your home," he also had no intention of using the word 'lair', "Stop worrying so much." Sportacus said a bit impatiently. It was the elf's turn to be annoyed that Robbie had misplaced a book. He watched curiously as Robbie unlocked the entrance, although the man attempted to block what he was doing from the elf's sight.

The man simply grumbled something inaudible in response to this, pausing before he opened the hatch. "Even if you don't _plan_ to ruin it, that doesn't mean your bizarre flipping habits won't," he said finally, crossing his arms and giving the elf a pointed look.

The elf rolled his eyes. He had already proven that wasn't a concern, but he saw no point in arguing with this. "What do you want me to do, then? Wait up here for 5 minutes to give you time to find it?"

"Yeah, that'll work," Robbie replied, either ignoring the sarcasm or not realizing that Sportacus was capable of such a thing. Rather than waiting for a response, he hopped down the pipe into his home and left the hero to his own thoughts, which were far less patient with the villain than usual.

---

"Five minutes up already?" Robbie asked vaguely after Sportacus gracefully landed out of the tunnel. The man was lounging on his chair and thumbing through the book (it was under the first stack of papers he looked through) and searching for a recognizable word. They were very few and far between, the language definitely wasn't like anything he knew. And he did know a few languages. Evil geniuses had to know such things.

Sportacus shook his head at the sight, "You can't read that."

"No, but that won't stop me from trying," he muttered, holding the book on its side as if that would make more sense.

The elf watched over and snatched it out of the villain's hands as delicately as he could. "No, I mean you aren't allowed to read that. Elves' eyes only, remember?" he said, clutching it protectively to his chest.

"Well, someone's in a bad mood. Seeing as you translated some of it for me- I didn't think I couldn't even read a book I've owned my whole life," the villain grumped, trying to avoid smiling. Although he did still feel a bit guilty, it was nice to see Sportacus not being so flippy.

"I'm surprised you aren't. You were almost rid of me," the hero muttered bitterly. He'd never been so close to being kicked out of a place before. He'd left towns for other reasons- generally when he wasn't needed any more- but he'd never been forcibly driven away. "Or are you just screwing with my head again to make up for that?"

Robbie gasped, feigning innocence, "I have no idea what you mean!"

Sportacus studied him for a minute. Something wasn't right about this. "You're smarter than that- you know this town hates you, you work hard to ensure it. You knew that if you spoke up in favor of it, they'd speak against it. And you don't want them to like you- so you certainly didn't do that for personal glory. You didn't want them to get rid of me."

The man rolled his eyes, "Of course not. I spent 2 years trying to get rid of you because I desperately want you here."

"It would be a fairly ingenious plan," Sportacus pointed out. Robbie raised an eyebrow at that. 'Ingenious' was one of his key words. The elf looked over the book vaguely before continuing, "If the town villain were in favor of me, people would get suspicious and might try to get rid of me. And the only surefire way to keep a hero around is to make sure he's still needed. If you _really_ wanted to get rid of me you could have just waited until Lazytown no longer needed me."

"Wait- you would have left on your own?!" Robbie demanded, standing up. After a few minutes of incoherent rage that genuinely scared the elf, he groaned and sat back in his chair, massaging his temples. "Ugh, it wouldn't matter. You'd leave, then I'd make everyone lazy again and only get a few days of respite before that pink cheerleader called you back…"

"Sorry?" Sportacus asked, disturbed by that display. That was definitely a 'no' then. He supposed it was too much to hope that Robbie was just faking the entire time, that a part of him actually liked having the hero around. "Why do they annoy you so much anyways? You live underground- and pretty far off- their playing shouldn't effect you at all."

Robbie crossed his arms grumpily. "I can still hear them when they're playing. No matter what I try, that incessant noise finds it's way in! It drives me insane!"

The elf cocked his head to one side. That didn't make sense. There was no reason for the sound to make its way there, but that did explain a lot. "So if I can find a way to sound proof your lair…" Sportacus opened the book to the relevant chapter, "You'll leave the children alone and let them play?"

"Why didn't you ask me this 2 years ago?" the villain asked, trying not to show just how much the thought of the elf's magic covering his home frightened him. He couldn't help but feel a bit paranoid that the elf would end up installing some microphone or camera spell to keep track and make sure he didn't do evil, too.

"Oh…" a blush came over the elf's face and he cleared his throat uncomfortably. "I always thought you were trying to get rid of me on principle. I had no idea that the children playing actually caused you problems…"

"Well they did," he muttered, shaking his head. "Anyways, don't you have more pressing matters than the villain's discomfort?"

"Actually, it would be good practice. I'm, er, not very good with magic," Sportacus admitted, trying to remain cheerful. Robbie stood up at this, shaking his head and looking like he was about to try and bodily throw the elf out right then.

"Oh no! I am not having an amateur magic user practicing his hocus pocus on my home!" Robbie growled.

The elf sighed. "Robbie, do you still think I'd hurt your home?" the man replied with a begrudging nod. "I _won't_, I don't know what fairy tales your getting your view of the world from- but I want to help everyone, including you, how would ruining your home help you? But it would help me to be able to practice on your house, so…"

"_Fine_," he muttered. He knew when he was beaten. He was even more beaten by his own curiosity to actually see magic at work. Robbie was fully aware of what curiosity had done to the cat, but if he listened to common sense he probably wouldn't have become a villain in the first place. "What do I have to do? More of that _cleansing_."

"You realize that if there _is_ anything for you to do, we're going to have to start by translating, right?" The tall man groaned heavily, and Sportacus couldn't help but smirk at that. He immediately felt bad for doing so, but he couldn't help but feel that misery did love company. "But lucky for you- you don't have to do anything accept give me permission," he added after skimming over the section. It looked simple enough.

"Do I have to be here for it?" Robbie asked uncertainly, fidgeting slightly. On the one hand- he didn't want to leave the hero alone in his house. On the other hand, he didn't want to be around for this.

The elf didn't look up from the book to answer, "Not really. It might be better if you aren't here."

A look of relief passed over the man's face for a moment before he straightened up, put on a threateningly glare, and reminded the elf not to touch anything before leaving as quickly as he could while maintaining some form of dignity.

---

'_Life is rotten in Lazytown_,' the mayor thought bitterly to himself, trying to remain cheerful as he walked Stingy to Pixel's house, where all the children were waiting for him. He would have to tell them the news.

They were all happy to see the boy, and Stephanie was the first to rush over and hug him, everyone else following quickly. "Children, children, please!" the mayor called to them, shooing them away, "Stingy isn't fully healed yet, give the boy some room!" Stingy grumbled about this, but supposed he was right.

"We hadn't heard anything about you," Stephanie told him worriedly, and the boy mumbled apologies.

"Does this mean we can play outside again?" Ziggy asked hopefully.

The smile that the mayor had plastered on so as not to worry the children faltered. "Well, yes. But only under adult supervision." The children chuckled at that, certain that wouldn't be a problem because Sportacus would always be around to play with them. "Children, please sit down for a moment- I have something important to tell you." They all did, smiling to each other that things were about to go back to normal so long as they could sit through another lecture on safety.

"I'm afraid that the adults, all of your parents, and—" he looked at Stephanie's hopeful eyes and forced himself to straighten up, "—and myself are worried about what caused what happened—"

Trixie snorted, "What happened was that Stingy needs to learn the word "yours"!" Stingy stared at her as if she'd grown a third head, and everyone laughed appreciatively.

'_True enough_,' the mayor thought to himself with a sad chuckle, "No, I'm afraid the problem is that… Sportacus has become a bad influence on you," he spat the last sentence out too quickly. He couldn't believe the words had left his lips. The children shared looks of confusion.

"Mr Mayor," Pixel said quietly, "Are you saying we can't play with Sportacus any more?"

All eyes were on him. Milford swallowed. "Sportacus must refrain from all hero activity until he can fix his crystal. He can still play with you, but he won't count as adult supervision I'm afraid."

"But… Sportacus loves saving people," Ziggy said, confused. "Isn't saving people _good_?"

The children exploded with expressions of anger and confusion after this, but were finally drowned out by Stingy. The boy stood up, "No! I'll tell my daddy to fix this! He won't let this happen!"

The mayor bit his lip and looked away, trying to think of how to explain this to the child. He didn't need to, his silence was enough. The small boy's eyes widened.

"… This was my dad's idea, wasn't it?" Milford didn't say anything, but again he didn't need to. Stingy sat back onto the couch heavily, his hands in his heads. So this was what caused that horrible feeling that wouldn't go away. They had all but thrown out Sportacus and it was all his fault.

No one said anything for a few minutes. Ziggy was the first one to speak up, "It's not your fault, Stingy," he assured him.

"What are you talking about?!" Trixie yelped, "Of course it's his fault! Everyone knows what his dad is like! He must have said something to cause this," the boy shrunk back further as she said this but the girl didn't seem to notice, "Why couldn't he have blamed Robbie Rotten? Then we'd be rid of someone useless…"

"Trixie Hrekkjusvin!" the mayor scolded. The girl instantly quieted at the sound of her full name. "This isn't Stingy's fault. He loves Sportacus as much as any of you."

"Can you fix it, though?" Stephanie asked hopefully, placing a supportive hand on Stingy's shoulder.

"No," he whispered, "He'd only go against your uncle if I told him about this. You can't do anything…" he looked up at all the others sadly, "I'm so sorry, I never thought he could… Sportacus is a _hero_, how could he do this to a _hero?_" a look of horror crept over the boy's face, "Does this mean my dad is a _villain_?"

"No, no, nothing like that!" Milford said hurriedly, trying to cut this short. "All of the parents, and myself, agreed to this. Even Sportacus did. We were already concerned that you children weren't being careful. Sportacus isn't banned from Lazytown, he just has to find a way to only save people in _emergencies_ and we all need to work to be more careful until he can!"

"What if there's an emergency before then?" Stephanie asked doubtfully. The others murmured their agreement. "Is it worth the risk?"

"Children, we got along well enough when there were emergencies before Sportacus came along!" the mayor reminded them authoritatively.

Pixel shook his head, "I'll bet Robbie chooses now to strike. Sportacus is so close to being thrown out and can't save anyone- it's the perfect time."

Stephanie stood up at this. "I'll become the hero in his place, then!" she announced, hoping her old Sportastephanie uniform still fit. "Come on, guys, we did this before when he went on vacation! We can do it now! And you know if we ever seriously needed him, Sportacus would find a way to help us!"

The kids all cheered at that. They still had to go to school, of course, but after school they could be the heroes of Lazytown in Sportacus's place.


	16. Chapter 16

There was very little for Robbie to do outside of his home. It was starting to concern him to realize just how boring his life truly was. He appreciated peace, quiet, and slow-paced, but that didn't mean he should have absolutely nothing to do. How much of his life had become dedicated to getting rid of that elf? And now that it was clearly a waste of time, he had nothing left. That was just pathetic, even for him.

It was the next day. Sportacus had insisted upon getting a good night's sleep before trying any magic, and as a result of the elf's insane habit of being up at a reasonable, the villain had found himself rousted around 11 am, several hours before he'd had any intention of waking up. He wasn't really as grumpy as he should have been, though, he was more concerned with trying to distract himself from the concerns he had over his lifestyle.

It was extremely frustrating that the crystal seemed to be just a regular, mundane piece of crystal. There was no runes or markings on it, no 'aura' of power, no nothing. The only reason he knew it was anything more than a child's toy was that he'd seen it glowing when someone was in trouble.

As if to prove that it was a bit of magic, the crystal started going off. Robbie almost dropped it, then after the initial shock wore off started grumbling about how he was supposed to tell who was in trouble anyways? He stared at it for a few moments and got the distinct feeling it was that one brat who couldn't stop eating sweets. At that he dropped it, shuddering a bit that it had been able to put an idea in his head like that.

He looked around to make sure no one was in his immediate vicinity. Having Sportacus's crystal wouldn't look particularly good for him, and it was hard to ignore when it was putting on that kind of light show. Next he had to decide what to do. Saving the brat would end badly for him. People might think he was being a good guy. That brat might decide he, Robbie Rotten, was his new hero. That would be horrific. But if he really was in trouble…

"No," he told himself firmly, shaking his head of the thought, "He's probably just fallen into a trash can anyways." The crystal stopped going off after a few minutes. Whatever it was over. Robbie tried to ignore the uneasy feeling in his stomach and the desire to make sure that everything really was okay. Robbie just blamed it on the crystal magic.

Robbie picked the crystal up from where he had dropped it. He held it uncomfortably with two fingers as if it were a filthy rag, not really liking what it was now that he knew what it did. He considered bringing it straight back to the elf, getting it out of his hands for good, but he wasn't sure of the wisdom of interrupting someone mid-spell and also wasn't sure if it would be cruel to do so. Knowing people were in trouble but not being able to do anything about it might just kill the elf. That wasn't really his style.

"Maybe I could just bury it…" he muttered to himself, eyeing it suspiciously. The sound of humming reached his ears and he instantly palmed the crystal and crossed his arms to hide it, turning to see the source of the noise.

It was no surprise to see the pink brat skip out. It was a bit of a surprise to see her in that stupid Sportacus wannabe suit. He raised an eyebrow at that before shaking his head. That would end badly for the hero. When did everyone in this town get so good at getting rid of Sportacus by accident? He'd been trying for two years on purpose with no luck!

"What _are_ you wearing?" he muttered a bit louder than he meant to. It was supposed to be to himself, but it had been loud enough to draw the pink tornado's attention.

She turned to him and frowned, crossing her arms defiantly. "Since Sportacus isn't allowed to save anyone- I'm taking his place." After a few moments of awkward silence she added, "Have you seen him? I wanted to ask him if I could borrow his crystal."

"Why would I know where he is? It's not like I keep track of _your_ hero," he muttered, wishing that he could hand the crystal to her then and there.

"Everyone knows about your periscope, Robbie," she reminded him with a smirk, "I _know_ you keep tabs on Lazytown- and that includes Sportacus."

"Unfortunately, yes," he muttered.

Stephanie rolled her eyes and was about to skip off in search of someone to save when she noticed that Robbie had kept his arms crossed the entire time. Usually the villain was pretty expressive with his hands, and it was odd enough for him to be on the surface of Lazytown like that. She narrowed her eyes at him, "Are you hiding something?"

"Plenty of things, none of which are your business," he replied firmly.

"Are you hiding something _right now_?" she specified, pointing at his hands, "why are your arms crossed?"

"Because it's comfortable," he told her, before scoffing and uncrossing them to place his fists on his hips. "There, is that better?"

"Robbie," she warned him, feeling a bit like a parent who's child was trying to hide something he wasn't supposed to have. That only further convinced her that something was wrong. "Open your hands. Both of them."

"I don't think I have to," he informed her with a sneer, "What are you going to do about it?"

The girl shivered a bit, but stood her ground. She had developed a fear of him since he threatened her, but this was probably serious. The girl placed her hands on her hips and looked up into his grey eyes, "I'll force you if I have to."

He chuckled at that, shaking his head. "Fine, fine, you've got me," he opened his hands. She gasped, seeing the crystal. "Oh- don't. This is the _fake_ crystal that I made when that spoiled friend of yours stole his."

Stephanie bit her lip, not sure if she believed that. But she had no proof- it was a pretty good fake, even Sportacus couldn't tell the difference until it failed to light up when Stingy was in trouble. The only way she could know for sure is to wait for someone to be in trouble and see what happened.

By a stroke of luck, Miss Busybody had told Milford to take the Christmas decorations down today. He slipped from the ladder, as he always did, and across the town the crystal in Robbie's hand lit up like a Christmas tree.

"ROBBIE ROTTEN!" Stephanie shouted at him, and he jumped slightly at it. He knew he was caught, and there was nothing he could do. The girl ran over and snatched the crystal from his hand before grabbing his ear. The good foot of height difference caused him to have to hunch down uncomfortably as she looked at the crystal to see who was in trouble. "Uncle!" she gasped, before glaring at the villain, "Good- because I have to take you to him anyways. Let's go!"

Robbie expected her to let go of his ear at this, and was painfully disappointed to find out that wasn't the case. With a groan he continued after her as quickly as he could. He had to hand it to the girl, she made a much better hero than Sportacus. The threat of being led by the ear by a 10 year old was enough to turn anyone good.

---

The sight of 10 year old SportaStephanie leading 6'4 Robbie Rotten by the ear was one neither Milford nor Bessie would forget any time soon. The hilarity of it distracted the mayor from his wounds, although that was gone quickly enough when they realized that it meant Robbie must be up to his old tricks.

The mayor wasn't too hurt. He hit his head and was bruised up a bit, but was overall fine. Nothing an ice pack and advil wouldn't fix. Miss Busybody felt so guilty for causing him to be hurt that she had agreed to make him his favorite dessert. Hopefully dealing with Robbie would take just long enough that he'd be able to get the cake in time.

And so the three (Stephanie, Robbie, and the Mayor) found themselves in the mayor's office. Robbie was grumbling over his sore ear and the back pain while the girl explained what had happened. He had nothing to really say about it- the evidence was damning. He didn't feel like saying what had really happened. Not only was it hard to believe that Sportacus would hand his crystal over to _Robbie_, but Robbie didn't want anyone thinking he was on speaking terms with the local hero. Besides, he had probably earned more than what he was about to get over the years.

"Mr. Rotten," the mayor said after Stephanie finished the explanation, "Do you have anything to say for yourself?"

"Only that I didn't hurt the elf," he muttered, "So don't go thinking that."

"I wouldn't put it past you," the girl said, glaring at him.

The mayor smiled kindly at his niece, "Stephanie, we don't know that anything did happen to Sportacus. This whole affair must be very upsetting for him, he might just be avoiding us until he can save people again."

"I… but… yeah…" she mumbled, looking at her feet. She didn't want to think that Sportacus would be avoiding her over this. It was a lot better to think that Robbie had done something awful to him that kept him from seeing the kids.

"Well we can't prove that," he said finally, looking for some papers in his desk, "but if you can't prove your innocence about the crystal then I'm afraid that I'll have to put you in jail until we can get it resolved."

Stephanie stared at that, "Lazytown has a jail?"

"Technically…" the mayor said, "We have a cell… but it hasn't been used in decades…"

"I'm guessing it hasn't been cleaned in as long," Robbie added and the Mayor replied that it had been cleaned about once a year and it was decent, but it was probably a bit dusty. Wonderful. This would be murder on his allergies.

The mayor left them alone in his office for a few moments to make sure the cell was ready. In most towns this would be unthinkable- but it wasn't like running from the law was high on the list of things anyone in Lazytown would do. Even Robbie didn't see the point of trying.

"Hey," Stephanie said after she was certain her uncle was out of earshot. She turned to face the villain and glared at him. "If you _did _hurt Sportacus- I'm going to go into your house and throw away every piece of sugar you have. And I'm going to do that _every single day_ until he's better. So you better not have."

"I'll keep that in mind if I ever get the urge to," he said uneasily, "But really, breaking and entering just to get revenge? What would Sportaflop say about that? Sounds like a pretty _villainous_ thing to do."

Stephanie's eyes widened at that realization and she shook her head. "Your right. You aren't worth it. But if anything happens to Sportacus- none of us would forgive you. You wouldn't be able to get away with _anything_ ever again. So you better not have done anything."

"I didn't," he groaned, rolling his eyes. "And believe me, this is incentive enough not to do anything." He leaned back slightly, his back cracking as he did. "You really did a number on my back."

Stephanie blushed a little, "Sorry, I didn't realize it would… That's what my friend's mom would do whenever he did something bad. I didn't want you running away."

"Yeah… well... Be more careful." he grumped, not really able to condemn that. He couldn't complain about most of this. It was a bit annoying that the one time he wasn't doing anything wrong was the one time he got in trouble, but it wasn't hard to see why they thought he was guilty.

"Alright, Mr Rotten," the mayor said cheerfully, walking back in after a few minutes and gesturing for the tall man to follow him, "The cell is ready for you now."

* * *

*** I believe in the TV show Lazytown doesn't have a jail, I recall the mayor saying so, but in one of the plays it had a single cell in the town hall so I'm going with that.


	17. Chapter 17

Sportacus had discovered why there weren't any elves who excelled in both sports and magic. All the sports candy in the world couldn't give you the energy to practice both at a higher level.

He had tried much harder than he should have, and it was unsettling to realize he had no idea what his limits were magically. Physically he could always tell exactly what was enough- he never overexerted himself and he never went too easy, either. Magically, though, what he thought was too little had left him completely exhausted

It felt as if he'd tried to beat every single one of his records in a row without a break. It wasn't a physical tired, his muscles weren't aching for sleep, he was just drained mentally and, well, magically. It was strange to know that his body hadn't been physically pushed to the edge but he still couldn't manage anything rigorous. It was a feeling he didn't much care for.

Exhaustion was exhaustion, though, and he was definitely glad to have sports candy on hand.

With a sigh he grabbed the book and made his way out of the villains now more-or-less soundproofed lair. It was around 7 in the evening now, so hopefully none of the kids would want to play.

It was pretty likely that the children were already aware that their slightly-above-average hero wasn't human, but he doubted they equated that with being able to use magic- and he didn't want that to change. The huldufólk's history was riddled with examples of humans wanting to exploit any magic they came across, and while Sportacus was usually happy to perform whatever tricks the children asked of him, magic was not the same thing. It was far more dangerous than an impressive soccer trick, far too easy to rely on magic rather than learning to do things themselves, and he wasn't at all adept with it.

He had used magic for them before to help the children's gardens grow, but that had been done when they were asleep and no one could see. And that was all he planned to do after this was over- small things that no one would think were caused by magic that helped people. That was what elves used magic for around humans- that was all that was needed.

"I suppose I should find Robbie now," he muttered to himself as he climbed out of the pipe. The only question was how- finding Robbie had never been a problem. Generally the man stayed in his home when he wasn't trying to get rid of the local hero. Sportacus really didn't know what else the man enjoyed doing, or where he went when he wasn't at home. He could ask someone if they'd seen Robbie- but he didn't want to draw unnecessary attention to the man, or himself.

During this train of thought, the elf had started making his way back to the city square, which his airship was currently floating over. He glanced up at it, wondering how likely it was that he could find Robbie from there. It was dusk now, there was still enough light and he could use his telescope, but it wouldn't take very long before that was no longer an option. And then what?

"Hey, Sportacus!" Trixie's voice broke him out of that train of thought. He bit his lip for a moment before smiling brightly at the girl who was running over to him.

"Hello, Trixie," he replied brightly before looking around to see if there were any parents around. As expected, there weren't. "Are you getting up to trouble?" he asked her seriously, crossing his arms as best as he could while holding the book.

She chuckled, "Nah- nothing serious. I was just heading over to Pixel's when I saw you." Before the hero had a chance to say anything, Trixie asked, "Hey- are you still looking for your crystal?"

"What?" he asked uncertainly before remembering that his chest-plate was clearly open and empty, anyone could tell by looking at him that he didn't have his crystal.

"It's okay that you didn't tell us it was missing," Trixie continued with a grin, "Pixel figures that you didn't want any of us to worry- what with everything else going on. But Stephanie got it back."

The elf managed not to groan, he could just imagine what had happened now. But, there was no sense in jumping to conclusions. "Trixie," he said, managing to keep smiling, "What are you talking about?"

The girl frowned at him, "You're crystal went missing, right? Stephanie found Robbie with it, so she took it from him to give it back to you."

Yep, that's what he was expecting. For a man who prided himself as being the Master of Disguise, he had no ability to keep things hidden. "Where is he now?"

"In jail!" the girl howled in laughter, grinning gleefully.

"But… Lazytown doesn't _have_ a jail," the elf said, thinking back to the time that Robbie had tried to imprison him and wondering if that's where the villain was. And if so, well, it didn't take much to escape from it. The only reason the hero hadn't was because he knew the kids could handle it themselves.

Trixie shrugged, "We didn't think so either- it's not really a jail… It's just one cell in the town hall, hasn't been used for ages, I think the Mayor's still there because we don't really have police…"

"Thank you, Trixie, I'll go see him, have fun at Pixel's," he said with a wave, heading towards the town hall and hoping she'd head off to Pixel's.

"Hey, Sportacus," Trixie called after him. He turned, surprised to see a look of concern on her face. "You look really… well… are you okay?"

"I'm fine," he promised her, "I just did a _really_ hard work out." That wasn't a lie, right? Heroes don't lie. And he did work harder than usual, it just wasn't physical.

Trixie nodded, not quite convinced. "Alright- but you know, if you're ever in trouble you can tell us. We might only be kids, but we can help, too."

"Thank you, Trixie," he replied. That seemed to settle it and the girl rushed off, realizing how long it was taking her to get there.

The hero groaned to himself. There was really no one to blame- if the children _hadn't_ assumed that Robbie stole the crystal he'd be more surprised, but this was still an aggravating situation.

"Why did I even give him the crystal, anyways?" Sportacus muttered to himself, mentally kicking himself. He knew why- he wanted to get rid of it. The thought of having to see it go off and being able to do nothing haunted him, and Robbie was just the first person to ask.

Sportacus wondered when the last time Lazytown had had such a mess on its hands, and this time it really was his fault. The children weren't allowed to play outside without supervision, and with their parents' schedules, it didn't look good. And now, the first time the local 'villain' _wasn't _up to no good was the first time he ended up in jail. Things really were upside down in Lazytown, and that was not a good thing.

The elf was again starting to wonder if he even deserved to be a hero.

---

"A misunderstanding?" the mayor asked with a relieved chuckle. After reaching the town hall, Sportacus had explained that his crystal had not been stolen, he'd just gotten rid of it so he wouldn't be tempted to save anyone. "Thank goodness! Why, a proper theft right after such a tragedy. Things were getting a bit too _interesting_ for my tastes."

The mayor reached into a drawer in his desk and pulled out the crystal, which he handed to the hero, "There you are, now I must be going- Stephanie has been staying at Pixel's house because I couldn't get home, but it's so late..."

"Uh, Mayor, what about Robbie?" Sportacus reminded him.

The mayor chuckled to himself, nodding, "Of course, of course. Would you mind letting him out for me? The key is on the wall- just return it. I'm sure Mr. Rotten wouldn't accept an apology from me, but I'll be happy to give him one—just not now."

"Of course, Mayor, have a good evening," the hero agreed with a slight smile as the mayor rushed out. He grabbed the keys to the cell before looking at the crystal in his hand, he'd have to return it to Robbie. Well, he didn't, but what else could he do with it? Have it around and let it torture him every time it went off? That wasn't much of an option.

"Oh, lucky you, doing the mayor's dirty work?" Robbie asked pleasantly when Sportacus entered the room. It looked as abandoned as it was supposed to be- still in good condition but the air was musty as if it hadn't been opened in years. The elf's nose twitched at the smell. The man was lounging on the cot (or maybe it was a seat, he couldn't tell), looking not at all like someone being punished.

"I'm sorry about this," he replied quietly, unlocking the door and refusing to look directly at the man.

Robbie stood up, stretching cat-like as he did and walked out of the cell before raising an eyebrow at the hero, "Why?"

Sportacus blinked uncertainly, "Because... you were thrown in jail because of me... And you didn't do anything."

The man looked the elf up and down for a moment before glancing at the door, "Can we have this conversation elsewhere? I've got a few nasty aches and still need to make sure my home's in tact."

The hero's mustache twitched, "For the last time- I have no interest in harming your precious lair. It's all in one piece, just a bit better now."

"I'll be the judge of that."

---

The two walked to the entrance to Robbie's home in relative silence. Sportacus hadn't told the entire truth- magic had certain side effects that the man might not like. They weren't permanent, but he still didn't care to see the man's reaction to them.

"Ah- Robbie, one thing," he said, waiting until hte last possible moment. That moment being right as Robbie had one foot in the tube leading to his precious lair. The man looked up, raising a suspicious eyebrow. "The magic had some... effects that you should be aware of."

"What kind of effects?"

"Nothing unusual- it's normal, really..."

Robbie grimaced. He doubted the elf realized just how much he sounded like a doctor about to tell you that you'd lost the use of your right arm, but it was still an unpleasant thing to hear.

"Alright, let's see the damage," he muttered to himself before the elf had time to make this any worse, dropping down the pipe. Sportacus bit his lip before following after the man, hoping that he was making this out as worse than it was.

---

He had been, of course, but Robbie was bound to do the exact same thing. Elf magic happens to be fairly, well, sparkly. And as a result, when a spell is cast a residue of that sparkly magic lingers for some time as the spell takes effect. As a result, it looked like a pack of rabid 5 year old girls had attacked Robbie's lair with glitter glue. The walls and ceiling had it the worst, but magic was no exception to the rule that glitter gets everywhere- so even the villain's precious chair was now bedazzled.

"It'll go away after a few hours... or days," the elf explained nervously, looking it over again. The artificial light helped, at least- this would have looked far worse in the sun.

"Days?!" Robbie groaned, "It looks like someone blew up a pixie in here..."

Sportacus nodded, "That's how magic works," he agreed,"I just forgot it was this... _tindrað_."

"You can't do anything about this?" he asked weakly. This was worse than when he'd had the snow machine in here.

The elf smiled sheepishly, clutching the book in his hand as if it had some answer, "Well, any magic would just result in _more_ sparkle... so..."

"Ugh, right," the tall man shook his head and flopped down on his chair, which was thankfully still just as comfortable. Especially after that hail cell. He examined the sparkling magic-stuff that was now on his walls warily, "Say- if I touch that, I won't end up flying or anything, right?"

"Wouldn't that require you to first have a happy thought?" the elf asked with a bitter laugh, sincerely hoping that this wouldn't mean Robbie was going to replace his usual practice of creative insults involving Sportacus's name with calling him _Tinkerbell_ or something equally aggravating.

Robbie glared, trying his best not to be impressed at that comeback. "You really shouldn't be sorry- we both know I've done more than enough things to deserve a bit of jail time. Most of them were to you."

The hero paused at returning to the earlier train of thought. He nodded quietly, "I just don't like the idea- the one time you aren't doing anything wrong you get punished. Sends the wrong message."

"Look- Sportacreep- if I was going to care about being punished or what other people thought, I wouldn't be a villain. A few hours in a dusty cell aren't going to set me straight- and they certainly won't make me worse. I'm how I am because I _like_ how I am."

"If you say so."

"I do," he snapped, crossing his arms defiantly, "And I don't need some fairy-wannabe making judgements about how I live my life. Don't you have a crystal to be making?"

Sportacus ignored the fairy comment, as that reminded him about the crystal that he was still carrying. He looked at it and sighed, handing it back to Robbie. This was the second time he was giving his crystal to the self-proclaimed villain, and it really didn't seem like a great plan.

"No way," Robbie insisted, holding his hands out in protest, "You keep that thing, I don't want it anywhere near me."

"Why not? You were practically giddy when I said you could have it."

The tall man frowned, staring at a wall that was defiantly not near the elf and muttering, "Yeah, well, that's before I knew what it did."

"But you knew that it alerts me when someone's in trouble," he pointed out, trying to ignore the fact that he was convincing Robbie to take his crystal. It was for good reason, he convinced himself, he couldn't risk having it around when it went off.

Robbie grimaced, "It does that by getting in your head so it can put the thought of who's in trouble in there- I don't like that."

Sportacus paused, looking at the crystal. "It does?" he muttered, more to himself than Robbie.

"How can you not know? You use it every day!"

The shorter man smiled, "I've been using it for so long that it's as natural as breathing- I forgot how I knew who was in trouble, I just always knew... It's part of the crystal magic, though..." He placed the book down on a table that was next to him and stroked his chin thoughtfully, "I can work with that."

Curiosity once again overruled all else and Robbie looked over. Seeing Sportacus look thoughtful was unusual enough, although he couldn't help but groan at noticing that the elf was bouncing on the balls of his feet, active as ever. Robbie couldn't help but feel a bit of guilt tug at him for every time he assumed the elf was an idiot.

"You can work with what?" Robbie urged after a few minutes of silence.

"Hva—ah, right," Sportacus shook himself out of his thoughts and bit his lip. He wasn't sure if he wanted to say what he had been thinking about, if Robbie would just try to tear it apart. But if not, it would be good to have someone agree that it might work. "I was thinking, if the crystal can tell me _who's_ in trouble, why couldn't it tell me _how_ they're in trouble, too?"

"And how badly," the man agreed, too caught up in this to care that he was working _with_ Sportakook, "that should solve the problem."

"Yes, exactly," the elf said gleefully, taking every bone in his body to not do a flip in victory. The only reason he didn't is because he was still so exhausted from the magic.


	18. Chapter 18

The next week or so was relatively peaceful, much to the relief of the residents of Lazytown. Sportacus rarely came down from his airship, and when he did it was only for a few moments and he always seemed to be lost in thought and, well, tired. Although the adults hoped this meant that the local hero was going to come up with a solution soon, and this entire situation could be behind them, it was also disconcerting. The only times anyone had seen Sportacus _tired_ was when Robbie was up to no good.

This had become the topic of the children's conversations lately- what Robbie was up to. They were all certain he was up to something that was causing Sportacus to be tired as a way to make sure he couldn't fix his crystal. The only question was how.

Ziggy was sure that he'd figured out how to turn everything Sportacus ate into sugar, Trixie wondered if he'd made another device to stop the hero from sleeping, Pixel was sure that Robbie had invented something entirely new and had a hard time hiding his curiosity about what it was, Stingy suggested that he'd started stealing Sportacus's Sports Candy. Stephanie spent a lot of time staring at the billboard from a distance. She wanted to barge in and accuse him, but she was still a little afraid of Robbie and didn't have any evidence.

The pink-clad girl tried to get her mind off of this by upping her hero training. It was a bit difficult to be a hero when she didn't have his crystal or any way to tell when anyone was in trouble. Ziggy was the only kid who wanted to help her, so she ended up spending a lot of time getting Ziggy out of the trouble he got himself into.

The other children mostly chose to hole up in Pixel's room where they could play video games all day. They made sure to play outside at least once a day, they were still active kids, but the newest RPG was way more interesting than watching Stephanie do push ups while waiting for something to happen.

Of course, something was bound to happen.

Miss Busybody had come up with some chore or another for the mayor to do that involved climbing up onto the roof. No one was quite sure how she kept coming up with chores like this, much less why when he always ended up falling off.

This time was no exception. As he started to slip, SportaStephanie leapt into action. Realizing that she was too weak to catch him, she instead tried to stop the ladder from falling. As anyone could guess, this didn't work well at all. The ladder still fell, her uncle falling off of it in the process, and all Stephanie could do was badly stop the ladder from hitting the ground. She'd never properly tried to save someone before, and managed to hit her elbow in the process. The girl almost dropped the ladder on her uncle as a flash of pain ran up her arm. The funny bone- what an ironic name.

"Are you okay, Uncle?" she asked breathlessly after he managed to sit up and she got the ladder re-propped against the house.

"Oh, I'll be fine, Stephanie," he assured her with a pained smile. "I fell off this ladder all the time before Sportacus came around!" the man stood up and whinced slightly. "But I'm afraid I'm not getting any younger…"

"Are _you_ alright, Stephanie?" a man's voice asked. They both turned around to see Mr Niski. The girl in the superhero outfit suddenly felt extremely self-conscious both about her outfit and about the elbow that she was still massaging. She attempted to straighten her arm with a wince and hung her head. Every single problem with this plan flooded into the girl's head.

"Y-yes," she stammered, taking a deep breath and looking up at Stingy's father with a smile. "I'm just fine, thank you."

"That's wonderful, but you do know that this could have been worse, right?" he asked, concern in his voice.

The girl nodded, continuing to smile up at him to reassure him that she wasn't lying, "But it wasn't. It was just a harmless accident, happens all the time."

"Yes, of course," he agreed with a nod, not really paying attention. "You wouldn't have been put into danger if you weren't trying to emulate that… "Super Hero" of yours, though."

Stephanie was torn between crying and shouting at that. "If it weren't for Sportacus, everyone would be sitting around doing nothing all day! Ziggy's teeth would have rotted from candy, Trixie would be a horrible little monster, Pixel would have no friends, and… and…" she faltered, was she going too far?, but furrowed her brow in determination, "And _your son_ would be a spoiled brat who doesn't care about anyone but himself!"

"Stephanie!" Milford scolded, "You know better than to speak like that! Your parents taught you better."

The girl whinced at that. He was right, but so was she. Stephanie couldn't just sit quietly while someone tried to get rid of Sportacus! Well, someone who might actually manage it.

"No, no, it's fine Mayor Meanswell," the man insisted, turning his attention to Milford. "Children don't always understand such complicated situations"- Stephanie bristled at this, she understood perfectly well! -"There's a lot going on, and it's a difficult time. This is exactly why it's up to us to take care of them and know what's best."

"Of course, of course," Stephanie's uncle agreed, as cheerful as one can be with a sore back.

"And this is exactly why the risk of having a local hero outweighs the benefits!" Mr Niski finished pointedly.

The mayor froze at that, "Yes, well, that is why we've agreed to let him try and fix the crystal situation before—"

"Even without him actively saving people the children are trying to emulate—"

"I am not!" Stephanie argued. She tried to ignore that she was wearing an outfit that was an exact, though pink, replica of Sportacus's suit. That really didn't help her case. "Lazytown needs a hero! And maybe I'm not the best person for the job- but I'm going to do it because no one else will."

"We were doing just fine before Sportacus came," he retorted kindly.

Milford attempted to do some damage control at this point, this was a situation that was fairly foreign to him. "He's right, Stephanie. We managed quite well before Sportacus came around and I'm sure we could do quite fine without a hero."

"But Lazytown _wasn't_ fine, Uncle!" she insisted, trying to retain her composure. "No one did _anything_ before he came! What kind of life is that?" She turned to Mr Niski, "Did you know that Stingy is _really, really good_ at soccer? And he loves it! He never would have found that out without Sportacus!"

"He is, really?" he asked, pride in his voice. He quickly straightened up and shook his head, "I'm sure he could have found that out without the help of some hero."

"When? None of the kids ever did anything! Stingy didn't even think he could _kick_ a ball!"

The two stared at each other for a few minutes, an impromptu staring contest with both waiting for the other to back down.

"Stephanie," her uncle said, gently scolding, "It's wonderful that you want Lazytown to have a hero- but I don't know if it's a good idea to have a child doing it. You're still young, and haven't been training for this nearly as long as Sportacus had to. Even if you do think Lazytown needs a hero- there's a reason it can't be one of you children."

"That's right," Stingy's father said slowly, "It's more important that the children realize they can't do everything adults can yet… instead of simply banning adults from doing it, too."

The girl frowned at that, trying to act as mature as possible. Throwing a temper tantrum when adults tell you you aren't grown-up enough wasn't a very good idea. No kid wants to be reminded that they're just a kid, though. It was one of the best things about Sportacus. He always spoke to the kids like equals, rather than patronizing them. But she knew her uncle was right about the training, even though Sportacus _had_ helped her do hero-training before it wasn't that much. It was just something she'd have to work on as she grew up.

"I guess you're right," she said quietly, "I'm sorry, Uncle, I just wanted to help."

"That's quite alright, Stephanie. No one was hurt- and I think you've learned your lesson now," he replied cheerfully, "I suppose we have a few more things to sort out, though. Why don't you go home and get changed into your normal clothes while Mr Niski and I discuss things."

The girl hurried off to fulfill that request, suddenly feeling extremely foolish in the outfit that earlier inspired so much pride.

The two men, Stingy's father and Stephanie's uncle, stood in silence for a few moments after Stephanie had left. Milford was torn between wanting to stand up for his niece and trying to do damage control. After a few minutes, Mr Niski spoke.

"I always tried to do what was best for Stingy," he said quietly, looking off at nothing. "I wanted him to have everything he ever wanted and to always be safe."

"That's what every parent- and relative- wants for their family, Nenni," the mayor agreed kindly.

The man nodded at this, looking at the mayor for a moment. "I guess I went too far with it, though. Maybe your niece is right, Sportacus was a good influence and I'm the one who did things wrong."

"You meant it for the best- no one can blame you for that."

"Thank you, but my son almost died because he thinks _everything_ is his. I think I should take the blame for that rather than trying to punish others."

"If that's your decision," the mayor said with a nod. His time in politics had left him with some knowledge of diplomacy.

Before Stingy's father had a chance to elaborate on what his decision was or wasn't, the local hero approached them. He wasn't as flippy or active as usual, he actually looked fairly exhausted, but still had the same warm smile and energetic glow he always did.

"Good afternoon, Sportacus!" Milford called over, calling Nenni's attention to the hero's presence, "How have you been doing?"

"Just fine, Mayor. It's great to see you, and you, too, Mr Niski," he said cheerfully, placing his hands on his hips and looking particularly proud of himself. "I managed to fix my crystal."

"That's wonderful news!" Milford said happily, clapping his hands together cautiously.

Mr Niski wasn't quite so quick to celebrate, "Are you certain? Completely sure?"

Sportacus's smile faltered for a second, "Well, I can't test it very well," he said with a nervous laugh, "but it should be fine. And if it isn't- I'll just keep trying until I get it." He beamed at the two men like a child expecting praise.

"I guess that's the best we can hope for," Nenni said hesitantly, licking his lips uncertainly.

"Then…" Sportacus bit his lip and looked more nervous than anyone had ever seen him, "Can things go back… Will it be alright for me to go back to saving people and playing with the children?"

"Of course," the man replied awkwardly, "I was over-hasty when I asked for that, it was probably a mistake."

The newly-instated hero shook his head, "No, you were right. I was already worried about putting the children in danger- if it turns out my crystal isn't working correctly I'll be happy to stop again if that's what it takes."

Both men were taken aback by the resolute look on the younger man's face. With as playful as Sportacus could be, how easily he got on with the children and seemed to prefer their company to adults', it was easy to forget that he was a grown man. No one in Lazytown actually knew how old he was, some wondered if he was the same hero as the great 9 that had protected Lazytown so long ago. Looking at how sharp those blue eyes could get, it suddenly seemed more possible. Stingy's father felt disturbingly humbled at that moment, and bowed his head. He quickly covered this up with a nod.

"Excellent!" The mayor exclaimed. And with that the moment had passed and the easy-going grin returned to the hero's face. "I'll let Bessie know and then tell Stephanie- that should get the word out to everyone." Milford glanced at the two to make sure there was no unfinished business before wishing them farewell and heading off to find Bessie.

"I think I misjudged you, Sportacus," Nenni said with an uncertain smile, extending his hand.

The slightly-above-average-hero chuckled and shook the hand warmly, "You aren't the first person who has."


	19. Chapter 19

A/N: I'm just resubmitting this to let everyone who's got this on alert that there is now a sequel up! "Pixel's Fix" Chapter one is here: /s/6442246/1/

* * *

Robbie Rotten took one last look at the surface world with his periscope. The children were playing, the jumping blue kangaroo was with them, and all was right again. Only better, as the brats now had to learn to be careful and how to get themselves out of minor scrapes because Sportacus only got called to serious emergencies. Not that this mattered to Robbie.

A strange feeling came over him at that thought- relief? Was he relieved that everything worked out in the end? That his self-proclaimed nemesis was still here?

Well, he certainly wasn't going to let those _nice_ feelings bother him. His lair was now soundproof. It was _perfect_, even if he did still find a bit of glitter here and there. It was wonderful.

The villain stretched out in his comfy chair with a content sigh. Silence. Finally. It was pure bliss.

His nose twitched and stormy grey eyes opened grumpily. Had the pipes always creaked so loudly?

He stood up and walked to his workbench. Had his footsteps always echoed so much?

No matter, he would just get himself busy inventing. Now that he didn't have to worry about trying to get rid of Sportacus or being distracted, he would be able to get back to inventing wonderfully evil things. He picked up his hammer, poised to start a fantastic machine. He raised the hammer over his head, and paused. He put it down on the table gently.

Robbie frowned at his tools. Something was missing.

The man went to the kitchen and got out his best slice of cake. Yes, that would have to be it. He settled back into his chair cheerfully, savoring the first bite. And the second. And the third… wasn't quite so nice. The fourth was okay. The fifth he only ate out of a feeling of obligation.

The villain set his fork down. That wasn't it.

An evil grin crept across his lips and he rubbed his hands together gleefully.

"It's disguise time!" he shouted, leaping out of his chair with a particularly evil laugh.

* * *

"Pixel!" Stephanie shouted with a laugh as the young technophile brought out his latest gadget to help him play. "You don't need a special gadget just to play baseball!"

Pixel grinned, "No- but this will make it even better! It's a bat that can _hit the ball for you_!" he said gleefully, holding it up so the kids could see, "_this_," he pointed at something, "tracks the baseball and locks onto its trajectory! Then _this_," he pointed to the handle of the bat, "swivels to hit it!" The boy genius held it proudly.

Stephanie shook her head, "But doesn't that take all the fun out of the game?"

"I just thought…" he said awkwardly, clearly not understanding the question. For him inventing _was_ the fun. Getting to see his ideas in action was way more fun than just swinging a back and hitting a ball. But he knew his friends enjoyed it, so he tried his best to fit in. Of course, it didn't work very well.

"Just let him play with it," Trixie insisted, rolling her eyes. "It's the only way he'll ever be able to hit the ball! Now are we gonna play or are we gonna sit around and talk all day?"

The kids agreed with that, and all got to their positions with a laugh. It was a bit difficult to play a proper game of baseball with only 5 people, but they managed. Pixel licked his lip as he stepped up to bat. He was sure he could do this, he had triple checked his calculations. He swung the bat up and tried to ignore the glint in Trixie's eye as she threw the ball.

Pixel closed his eyes and swung, the bat doing most of the work. And in a second he heard an all-too unfamiliar _Crack!_. He opened his eyes- he'd done it! The bat worked! It'd made contact!

"_Don't just stand there, Pixel!_" Stephanie shouted to him, "_Run!_"

"Oh, right!" he said to himself, tossing the bat to the side and making his way to first- second- third base. He hesitated at third, Trixie was just catching the ball that Stingy had thrown to her. Oh well, he didn't want a home run anyways. It was enough that it had worked.

"That was amazing, Pixel!" Ziggy said, looking at his own bat uncertainly as he stepped up to the plate.

"You can do it, Ziggy!" Stephanie told him warmly, readjusting her catcher's mask.

Before Trixie got a chance to throw the ball, Sportacus came flipping over. "Hey kids! What's up?"

The children looked up eagerly, "We're playing baseball!" Ziggy replied happily, holding up his bat as evidence. "Do you want to join us?"

"Yeah! You could play outfield. I'm sure we'll need you to catch the ball with as far as Ziggy will hit it," Stephanie said with a grin and a wink, and the younger boy puffed out his chest with pride.

Sportacus chuckled, he couldn't help but be impressed at how well Stephanie was able to organize all the children like that. Although he certainly helped with getting it so that no one was lazy in Lazytown, he had to admit that he probably wouldn't have been able to do it without Stephanie.

"I think I can do that," he said, taking his place with a series of flips that left the children in awe for a few moments.

"Alright, Ziggy, you ready?" Trixie shouted, eager to get on with the game. After everyone got back into the game, she lobbed the ball to the young boy.

With all the determination a hyper young boy could muster, Ziggy swung the bat and the ball- dodged. It hit the ground gently a few feet away. Everyone stared at it for a few moments; Trixie picked it up and examined the ball. It was just a normal ball. Ziggy did the same, with Stephanie looking over his shoulder to do the same.

"It looks normal to me," Stephanie told the others.

"That was weird," Stingy said with a frown, and everyone nodded. It must have just been a fluke. In the outfield, Sportacus frowned as well, but let the children handle it as best as they could.

Ziggy got into position and gripped the bat. Trixie wound up and gave it her best pitch. Ziggy swung—and again the ball _dodged_. As soon as the bat came within a foot of it, the ball simply swerved to the side and fell to the ground.

"What's going on?" Trixie shouted angrily. She stormed over to Ziggy and snatched the bat out of his hand, looking it over. There was nothing out of the ordinary with it. The kids turned their attention to Sportacus, who bit his lip. He had no idea what was going on either- but the children expected him, as an adult and a hero, to know everything.

"I think that's obvious!" a strange voice replied. Everyone looked up to see a tall man in a pinstriped business suit and sunglasses walking their way. He was carrying a briefcase and, as far as the children could tell, looked like a fairly important person.

"Who are you?" Stingy was the first to ask.

"I am Fly-Ball Bob, the Sports Equipment Expert." The children all looked impressed by this, Sportacus simply smiled and raised an eyebrow.

"Then can you tell us what's wrong with our ball?" Trixie asked hopefully, holding the ball up to him.

He chuckled at this, "My dear child- there's nothing wrong with your ball!" he insisted, "The problem is that electro-magnetic current is causing eddies in the continuum which prevent the bat from being able to hit the ball!"

The children had no idea what this meant, but it sounded important. But at the sound of electro-magnetic, they all turned their attention to Pixel and his electronic bat. The boy shrunk back slightly,

"Pixel! Did your bat do this?" Stingy asked angrily.

"Of course not!" Fly-Ball Bob insisted before they could get any further with the accusations. "This would be caused by something much more powerful than that little toy."

"Then what's causing it?" Ziggy asked uncertainly.

Fly-Ball Bob opened his briefcase and carried out a complicated blue gadget with buttons and antennae and a strange screen with a gauge of some sort on it, the needle currently resting at the bottom. "With this!" the man said proudly, holding it out for the kids to see. They stared at it with wide eyes, wondering what it was for. Sportacus watched from the background, bouncing slightly on his feet, his hand on his face as if he were deep in thought. In reality, he was hiding a slight smile as he watched the happenings.

"What's that?" Pixel asked, more curious than the others about technology.

"The Electro-Finder 3000," he replied solemnly. "This will find the source of the problem."

With that, the man flipped a few switches and turned a few buttons and the machine started up with a whirr, the needle flying wildly for a few moments before it settled down. The machine continued uttering a soft, gradual "beep… beep… beep" sound. Everyone watched silently as Fly-Ball Bob walked around, pointing the device around. Just to satisfy the children, he pointed it at the technophile's electronic bat and nothing happened. Pixel smiled to himself, as if he had been doubting it. He didn't really expect Stingy to apologize, but he did wish the boy would.

Then he continued walking around, seeming to be random in his search. Nothing changed until he started moving towards Sportacus. As the beeping sped up, the elf's eyebrows raised slightly as all the kids' eyes widened.

Fly-Ball Bob hmmed to himself for a bit, moving the machine away and back. The beeping sped up every time it got near Sportacus, and the man gave him a fixed look.

"But it can't be Sportacus!" Stephanie cried, "He hasn't caused anything like this before…"

The man frowned at that, scratching his head and looking at his machine as if he was trying to figure it out. "My machine is never wrong," he assured the children, shaking his head. "Has anything changed recently?" he asked, continuing to move the gadget. As the beeping increased as it got over Sportacus's crystal, the children shared a quiet glance. No one really wanted to say it, but they all knew what was the cause.

"Well," Stephanie said quietly, "One thing has changed…"

Of course, no one had wanted to be the one to say it- but they couldn't help but wonder if it was Sportacus's crystal. Fly-Ball Bob's device certainly indicated it had. And after a few tries of hitting a ball, throwing a basket, and kicking a goal with him around and not- it seemed that his presence was definitely causing it. The hero took it as well as he took most things- he'd already established that he would try as many times as it took to fix his crystal.

But no one really wanted that. The amount of time spent without Sportacus to play with had been bad enough. So the children all just shifted nervously and shared troubled glances as they tried to decide what to do now. At this time they had learned better than to leave such decisions up to the adults, who had made a mess of it last time.

"I'm sure we can come up with a solution," Sportacus assured them all with a grin. It was about as close as the elf ever got to a sly grin- which wasn't particularly close at all, so no one noticed. He glanced at Fly-Ball Bob, "How far away does my crystal have to be for it to stop being a problem?"

The man adjusted his tie and studied his instrument for a few moments, twisting a few dials and raising his eyebrows in surprise before making a few more adjustments and frowning. The children watched the display breathlessly, eating it up. "Well, with such high readings it's really hard to say," he said after he was done.

The children shared another glance, this one nervous. "But it's just the crystal, right? Not Sportacus?" Ziggy asked hopefully, "Couldn't he take it off… maybe put it on the side somewhere and play with us then?"

"I don't know if that's a good idea Ziggy," Sportacus told him gently, "What if someone needed help and I didn't know because my crystal was somewhere else?"

Ziggy's face fell, the blonde boy hadn't thought of that. Keeping a hero away from his way to tell when someone needs him wasn't a very good plan at all. Stephanie placed a hand on his shoulder, "Don't worry, Ziggy. We'll think of something. There's _always_ a way."

Trixie let out an exhasperated sigh, "Well- enough sitting around and feeling sorry about it- let's figure out how to fix this!" If they weren't going to play ball, she wanted to find something else to do. The children nodded, said goodbye to Sportacus with assurances that they'd think of something soon, and ran off. Pixel was the last to go, and the boy hesitated, looking at the two adults nervously as he gingerly picked up his bat.

"It… really wasn't my bat doing this, right?" he asked Fly-Ball Bob quietly. Robbie's stomach lurched at this.

He had never minded Pixel, the boy was the quietest and shared Robbie's passion for inventing. He couldn't help but sympathize with the way the boy must be feeling after his friends' were so quick to accuse his invention of this problem. Part of him wanted to find some way to support this boy and encourage him.

"Of course not- the electromagnetic currents produced by that bat couldn't possibly have any effect," he said firmly, and the boy nodded slowly. He frowned at the bat, his eyebrows furrowed as he thought about this.

"I… guess I should go try to help them," Pixel said quietly, his grip tightening on the bat as he smiled up at Sportacus.

"I'm sure you'll be a great help to them," the slightly-above-average hero assured him with a grin. The boy walked off a bit slowly, heading to his house rather than in the direction the other children had gone, and Sportacus's smile faded.

He wasn't sure how to help Pixel now that the boy knew not to stay up all night inventing or stay inside all day, he wasn't even sure if he should help him. Pixel was one of the oldest children and was starting to drift away from the other children who he had little in common with aside from living in the same town.

Sportacus wasn't the role model Pixel needed- Pixel needed a role model who could encourage his interest in inventing.

'_Someone like Robbie_,' the elf mused, turning to face the man still standing near him with a wry smile. "So, "Fly-Ball Bob", this is an odd scheme for you."

The man briefly considered objecting, trying to assert that this wasn't just an act, but it would be a waste of his time and he knew it. He bristled slightly, crossing his arms, "I don't know what you mean- eventually you'll give up trying to 'fix' your crystal and leave, it's a brilliant plan."

Sportacus chuckled, "Alright, Robbie, if you say so. Of course, if I can find any proof that you've done anything wrong… I do have a responsibility to Lazytown."

"You won't," he said grumpily, picking up the briefcase from where he dropped it and stalking off.

"Robbie," the elf called, flipping after the villain to stop him from getting farther. The tall men stopped with a 'harrumph'.

"What?" he snapped irritably, still annoyed at how _flippy_ the sports elf was. Really, it would have been fine if he had just ran over like a _normal_ person.

"Do you think…" he started, licking his lips nervously, "That Pixel might be able to invent something to fix this?"

The grumpy frown slowly fell off of the villain's face at that question. Understanding flashed over his face for a moment as he realized exactly what Sportacus was asking him for. He quickly replaced it with a detached shrug, "I really don't know… It is possible… maybe if he were to check the equipment he could find some way to fix what was happening."

The two stood for a few moments after that. Sportacus knew by now that Robbie would not accept his thanks, and might even change his mind if it were offered.

"Of course- if he were to, I'd just have to come up with some other scheme to get rid of you," Robbie reminded him stubbornly.

"It wouldn't be Lazytown if you weren't, Robbie," the elf assured him with a smile. Of course, he'd have to stop whatever plans Robbie came up with, and if he were to do anything _really_ villainous he'd have to address that. But that was just part of what made Lazytown Lazytown, and Sportacus wouldn't change a thing about it.

* * *

I hadn't seen the episode "Sportacus Saves the Toys" when writing this. I didn't mean to make the plot quite so similar, although it is still a bit different. But it's not like Robbie ever learns his lesson, anyways.

I'm not very good at endings- which I think is obvious- so I'm sorry this took so long. I kind of want to do a sort of sequel to this, maybe a oneshot, so that might happen at some point. Thank everyone who favorited and commented on this story! Your support means so much to me and I hope the ending is satisfying.


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